Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Paging Frank James! Germany Needs you Now!!!



It sounds like the plot of a B-movie, yet it’s bizarrely true: Radioactive boars are on the loose and thriving in Germany’s forests.
A succession of mild winters has left Germany scrambling to deal with a skyrocketing wild boar population. Tales of swarming beasts rampaging through city streets and attacking citizens occur with alarming regularity.
The problem has been aggravated by the lingering effects of the Chernobyl disaster from twenty-five years ago; a large portion of the wild animals are contaminated by radioactivity.
Poisonous radiation leaves the beasts completely inedible (wild boar is considered a delicacy in Germany), and the phenomenon is becoming expensive for the German government. In the last hunting season, 650,000 boar were shot versus 287,000 in the previous year. And due to atomic energy regulations, the government must buy contaminated animals from hunters who catch them.
Berlin compensated hunters to the tune of over $500,000 in 2009, writes German newspaper Der Spiegel -- quadruple the payment in 2007.

Okay Frank...this is the BIG ONE! I'm betting we could stage an expedition and wipe out the radioactive monsters in a long weekend, if the German gun companies pop for the ammo (and the post-hog apocalypse beer)! You'd see it all next season on SHOOTING GALLERY...

8 comments:

JoeMerchant24 said...

You'd need more shooters.

I hereby volunteer.

Frank W. James said...

I'm IN! But we will need State Dept approval to take the thermal imagining and night vision stuff out of the country. I'm sure you can get it arranged though with Hillary. :)

All The Best,
Frank W. James

Anonymous said...

Oh, HECK YEAH!!!

-Bidah

Anonymous said...

Lets do This...

Kristophr said...

Government evil.

The additional radioactivity is unmeasurable, and probably exactly equal to that of feedlot cattle in Germany.

They can't sell the meat because the local ranchers and pig farmers don't want competition.

KM200 said...

the government must buy contaminated animals from hunters who catch them

If I were one of the hunters I'd just shoot the damn thing. ;)

Chuck said...

The BBC says that "Peru battles rabid vampire bats after 500 people bitten"

Man, we need some sort of response team. Rabid bats, radioactive boar..

Can the zombie apocalypse be far behind?

Obviously next season of Best Defense should cover this angle.

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