Sunday, January 31, 2010

More on Stephen Hunter's I, SNIPER...

We focused mostly on the gun stuff in our reviews of Steve's I, SNIPER, but one thing I don't want to overlook is his brilliant analysis of the Mainstream Media, of which he (and I) were card-carrying members for so many years. Over at the Self-Evident Truths blog they do a good job of picking up on how he so precisely pins the MSM to the board:
The book was a good read but I'm not here to review the book. Instead, I want to point out something Hunter writes in this book which brilliantly illustrates exactly what is wrong with the mainstream media. On page 183, Hunter writes about "the narrative" - the foundational story that drives ideologies. First off, Hunter defines the idea of narrative - the foundational beliefs that the media holds:
The narrative is the set of assumptions the press believes in, possibly without even knowing that it believes in them. It's not like they get together every morning and decide 'These are the lies we tell today.' No, that would be too crude and honest. Rather, it's a set of casual, nonrigorous assumptions about a reality they've never really experienced that's arranged in such a way as to reinforce their best and most ideal presumptions about themselves and their importance to the system and the way they've chosen to live their lives. It's a way of arranging things a certain way that they all believe in without ever really addressing carefully. It permeates their whole culture.
This paragraph caught my attention, not only because it rips on the mainstream media, but also because, in a more general form, it is precisely the idea about narrative that I try to get across to my students in my political ideologies class. These foundational stories are what drive ideologies even to blind people far beyond making reasonable assumptions about reality.
I remember a conversation I had with execs at one of the top newspapers in America. The editors said if I was going to talk about "media bias," no one was interested. short, the bias is so deeply rooted as to be invisible to the people who suffer from the bias. In the end I came to believe it was sort of like the Robert McNamara Defense Department — take a bunch of guys who went to the same prep schools, the same colleges, took the same classes, joined the same fraternities, married women from the same colleges and the same sororities, went to work for the same government agencies...etc...then take those men, put them in a room and ask them if we should bomb the crap out of some Third World rat hole...not a big surprise when they all agree. Journalism is a similar self-selecting system...a newsroom is a more relentlessly homogenous place that a nunnery, with staggering peer pressure to conform. Only the rarest individuals — Stephen Hunter among them — survived that meat grinder with their integrity intact. Hell, I bailed and went freelance as soon as I could.

Self-Evident Truths goes on to quote I, SNIPER:
They know, for example that Bush is a moron and Obama a saint. They know communism was a phony threat cooked up by right-wing cranks as a way to leverage power to the executive. They know Saddam didn't have weapons of mass destruction, the response to Katrina was [messed] up, [and] torture never works. Cheney's a devil, Biden's a genius. Soft power good, hard power bad. Forgiveness excellent, punishment counterproductive, capital punishment a sin. See Nick's [an FBI agent character in the book] fighting the narrative. He's going against the story, and the story was somewhat suspiciously concocted exactly to their prejudices, just as Jayson Blair's made-up stories and Dan Rather's Air National Guard documents were. And the narrative is the bedrock of their culture, the keystone of their faith, the altar of their church. They don't even know they are true believers, because in theory they despise the true believer in anything. But they will absolutely de-frackin'-stroy anybody who makes them question all that.
Here, in this story by Stephen Hunter, is truth.

The narrative that the media holds, based on years of faulty assumptions stemming from the liberalism and disaffection with government in the 1960s, faulty assumptions about the validity of Marxist doctrine, and ideals antithetical to religion, simply gets in the way of seeing any other point of view but its own.
This is a dead-bang analysis of what we face when we deal with the MSM. They gave Obama a free ride into the White House, and we're all bleeding from it. They believe in their DNA that guns are evil and, by extension, so are people who choose to exercise their rights.

You need to read read I, SNIPER!

This Is the First Day of...the Next Week?

Am Officially Over SHOT 2010 and ready to throw myself into our "aggressive" 2010 filming schedule for DRTV and all the series. This week I'll be at GUNSITE for a few days filming for DRTV, including our new exclusive web series, TIPS FROM GUNSITE.

Shot a Wild Bunch cowboy match yesterday with the Pawnee Station club in Ft. Collins, my first with the Retro-Para GI Expert. Pawnee Station always runs a great was my first with the new improved eyeball, which mostly worked okay until a shotgun stage where I shouldered the '97 on my left shoulder, promptly closed my left eye and proceeded to miss the poppers a bunch of time. Hmmmmmmm...gonna have to work on that a bit! I ran into GUNSITE aces Ed Stock and Chris Weare at SHOT...they think, and I tend to agree, I should suck it up and take the GUNSITE 250/350 class with Ed or Chris, where they and the other instructors can watch me closely and help me make midcourse corrections on the old dominant eye front, with a goal of getting back to both eyes open.. I'm going to try and carve out the time late winter/early spring. To eliminate as many variables as possible, I'll probably shoot a plain old boring 5-inch 1911 .45 with ball ammo.

I note that KBI/Charles Daly has gone out of business, effective last Friday. From KBI President Michael Kassnar:
I don't want to go into each and every detail as to why this has occurred, except to say that there have been a multitude of events over the past five years that have contributed to our current situation.
Kassnar does say the Charles Daly brand, whiich has included a huge range of imported firearms, will be resurfacing soon.

Since it's the start of the new week, I thought I'd live up to my "most depressing man in America" moniker by posting this link on EMPs. There's been a bunch of EMP stuff around recently, much of it centering not on the "nukes over Kansas" scenario but rather on the now overdue major solar storm:
An extremely large solar storm, though, could induce geomagnetic currents that would destroy a substantial fraction of the large transformers on the power grid (possibly over much of the world). If this happened, electric power loss due to a large solar storm would be out for a period of years. Unlike nuclear EMP, such a solar storm is an eventual inevitability.

The last solar storm that could have caused this level of damage happened in 1859, before the power grid was in place (although in 1921 a large solar storm, of briefer duration than the 1859 event, occurred which affected only a small area of the planet). The power grid has only been in place for a tiny fraction of one percent of human history, and a really large solar storm (of the size and duration of the 1859 event) has not happened in that time. There is a general assumption that any solar event that is similar to, or larger than, the 1859 solar superstorm will simply never happen again, although there is no justification for such an assumption -- in fact, we know that this assumption is false. There is a good possibility that such a solar storm will happen in this century. If it happens in the current situation without spares for our large transformers, a large part of the power grid (including 70 to 100 percent of the United States power grid) will be down for years.
Interestingly enough, last year I talked to some, ahem, government types part of whose job it is to access major threats to Home Sweet Home. They were amazingly forthright and open on many topics, right until I got up to EMPs. The room got real quiet. "We're not going to talk about that," said Government Type A. "Won't, or can't," I asked. "What's the difference?" A replied. I asked whether the scenario presented in the novel ONE SECOND AFTERnukes over Kansas — was viable. "What part of 'not talk about this' did you not understand, Mr. Bane?" Ah, well...remember, the Iranians have tested low-angle missile launches consistent with an EMP attack. Time to start working on the aluminum foil hat real seriously!

Friday, January 29, 2010

From My Pals @ DS Arms

Sadly, I didn't get over to the DS Arms booth at SHOT, but you know from the recent SHOOTING GALLERY that I'm a huge fan of the FAL fact, I'm buying a plain vanilla SA58 becaue I believe it is the best choice in a 7.62/.308 semiauto rifle out there right now, and heaven knows I've agonized over it enough!

You saw me shoot the SBR version of the DS short gas piston system FAL on SHOOTING GALLERY, but they didn't have the pistol version when I was up there. These photos from The Firearm Blog, BTW.

Interesting thing about pistol versions of battle rifles, and I think I'll be talking about this on next week's podcast...and yes, we've touched on it before, but I'd like to expand a bit. In short, I think the pistol-version rifles are becoming the defacto PDW in America.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Animal Planet...

...that's what it's been like looking out my office window lately. Yesterday morning, a big red fox in mega winter coat. An hour or so later, a HUGE bobcat...that bad boy had to go 25-30 pounds if he was an ounce. He punched through the snow crust about 5 yards from my window, then spun around and hissed like a housecat caught doing something stupid. I love the way they just, poof, disappear into the foliage. This morning was the big coyote that's been hanging around. I went downstairs and got the GAMO pellet rifle, in case a penguin turns up and I get a shot.

And yes, I now have the camera at my desk!

SG Interview with Col. Jeff Cooper on DRTV!

“A free man must not be told how to think, either by the government or by social activists. He may certainly be shown the right way, but he must not accept being forced into it.”
— Col. Jeff Cooper

FINALLY, after years of trying to make this happen, the SHOOTING GALLERY interview with Col. Jeff Cooper — perhaps the last major interview he gave before his death in 2006 — is now available on DOWN RANGE Television!

Go here, then click VIDEO CATEGORY button above the Player and select "Jeff Cooper Uncut."

USFS Duplicity

I mentioned the U.S. Forest Service's Ver. 2.0 attack on shooters and hunters who want to exercise their right to shoot on public land. Click on the photo above from a traditional shooting area in Colorado and check out the larger sign below.

It says:

"ATTENTION SHOOTERS! It is against regulations to shoot within 150 YARDS of an occupied area or to shoot in an unsafe manner."

That is true.

"Magnolia road is within 150 YARDS of this site."

That is also true.

"If a vehicle, biker, runner or walker comes within 150 YARDS on Magnolia road, you must stop shooting until they are 150 YARDS away."

This is a flat-out lie, a direct contradiction of an edict issued by the Department of the Interior a couple of years back stating unequivocally that a "road" is NOT and "occupied area" under the terms of the regulation.

In fact, when one of the USFS enforcement officers suggested in my presence that "anytime I'm standing in a place it is an occupied area," he was slapped down by his big boss with the statement, "Don't be ridiculous!"

Note that this sign is official and was minted with your tax dollars!

USFS signed a Memorandum of Understanding and publicly gave their word that they would work with our groups before making any changes in regulations on target shooting on public land. Apparently federal regulations that prohibit employees from lying to the people they're supposed to be serving are also subject to USFS "re-interpretation."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Video Podcast 012710

This week, we follow up on news from SHOT Show 2010 and specifically cover the ammo situation. You can watch SHOT Show videos on both Down Range TV and

Reference links for this video can be found here.

Have a Plan!

I love this post from Caleb over at Gun Nuts Media on having a plan:
Do you have a self defense plan? If you’re walking with your spouse/significant other and you’re accosted, do you have a plan for what to do? If you don’t, I’ll share my plan with you. It’s pretty simple, and easily adapted to multiple situations. One caveat is that this particular plan assumes I’m with my wife and not out by myself.
Option 1: we both run away like little girls and call 911 from a safe place.
This is my favorite option. “You always win the fight that never happens”. But what if running away isn’t an option? What if there are multiple attackers and one of them is blocking your retreat?
Option 2: Disable the guy that’s blocking our retreat, then run away like little girls and call 911 from a safe place.
Any time the situation turns to violence, we’ve reached “undesireable options”. However, sometimes violence is inescapable, so it’s best to have a plan on when and how you plan on resorting to force. Of course, sometimes you can’t retreat at all, which leaves us to option 3.
Option 3: My wife runs, I buy time.
I've been saying this for some time...strategy is the general framework of what we plan to do; tactics is the response within the context of your strategy to the situation on the ground.

I'm with Caleb on the "run away like little girls..."

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Waiting for the Flywheel to Start Spinning Up...

Did the weekly video blog yesterday, and it's starting to come together. As I mentioned, we'll be running it in beta, with the formal final-product (with all the flashy graphics and stuff) rollout at the NRA Convention in Charlotte mid-May.

I mentioned that I was in strategy meetings last week with the NRA...those meetings centered on U.S. Forest Service's return to the "good old days" of antigun activism. The Rampart Range in southern Colorado has been closed since a negligent discharge that resulted in a death back in July. Forensic examination later revealed that the gun was faulty. USFS has set an irrational set of preconditions for the range to reopen. Recently, signs went up in shooting areas that apparently intentionally misstated the law on "occupied area" by stating roads are occupied areas — an interpretation specifically denied by the Department of the Interior. Finally, USFS unilaterally issued a new requirement that all target shooting must be on paper or steel targets "designed for target shooting." All these actions have been taken without consulting any gun or shooting groups, although USFS signed a Memorandum of Understanding with a number of shooting and hunting groups (including the NRA and NSSF) pledging to consult with the groups on any and all decisions regarding shooting on public lands. To the best of our knowledge, USFS has never consulted with anyone other than their own cloistered antigun staff. More as this develops...

I wanted to mention a few more SHOT guns that I didn't get to see, but at least a few of my friends did. The guys at STI International rolled out a whole series of superb little concealment pistols based on their 1911/2011 platforms — the Elektra, the Shadow and the Eclipse. All three are available in 9mm, .40 and .45 and are slick, light and very concealable. Check them out here. I did get the brief chance at the end of the Show to handle the Elektra, and, as usual, I was seized with 1911 Lust. I carried an STI LS9 for years and, of course, shot a .40 Edge in USPSA competition.

I'd also like to throw a shout-out to Henry Rifles, which continues to expand their already substantial lever gun line. Their .22 lever guns are just wonderful...there is no better tool for introducing young people to shooting. I use mine for rifle practice for SASS...there's also an Evil Roy version that's pretty neat. I have an early version of one of Henry's version of the AR-7 .22 survival rifle. I had some problems with that rifle when I got it (about 10 years ago, I think), but the guys at Henry fell over their own feet to make it right. Henry's tooled up an improved version that I want to test. Why? Because it is what it is — a 2.5 pound .22 rifle that breaks apart and completely stows in its 16-inch stock (with 2 8-round magazines) and MSRP's for $245. Throw it in the car, the boat, the RV, the backpack, etc. I'll let you know when I check it out.

Finally, my heart was broken by the story of more than 40 malnourished macaws (and other animals) seized from a condemned home without power or water in Pueblo. I know we are dealing with a far more important human tragedy in Haiti, but if you can find it in your heart, send a few dollars to the great Gabriel Foundation, which is struggling to save these and care for these magnificent birds. Every visitor to the Secret Hidden Bunker is enchanted with our two macaws, Cleo and Bishop, and our gray parrot, Ripley, the Unequivocal King of the World, My Sweetie and I then spend time talking the people out of even thinking about getting a parrot for a pet because of the huge lifelong commitment to caring for these wild — not domesticated — animals. I always fall back on this quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

Monday, January 25, 2010

Hitler Finds Out How Much the New Bushmaster ACR Costs


All kiddies close your eyes!!!

Still, I swear I laughed until I thought I was going to wet myself!

Okay, I pulled the video for language, but here's the direct link on YouTube.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


For those of you who missed my guest spot on AFTER ARMAGEDDON, it's now available on YouTube...this is the first can see the whole doc on the other 8 videos.


My Sweetie and I slept 14 hours last night and things here at the Secret Hidden Bunker have returned to normal, such as it is. There's always a feeling after SHOT of so much I missed (which this year is almost everything) or didn't get a chance to handle...much less shoot.

On the plus side, I finally got a chance to have a long conversation with Alex Robinson of Robinson XCR, and that lead to my decision to get get one. As we look at the AR world moving to piston systems of various flavors, I think it's important to note that Robinson was there first (at least for this iteration of gas piston guns) and has the most evolved system. What Alex has done is repeatedly simplify the system...instead of endless bells and whistles being added, he kept focusing on honing down his platform. Very smart, and in the case of the XCR, simple is indeed better. I may pay the money and go for an SBR version.

Over at Century Arms, I was really impressed with a bunch of their new guns, especially the VZ-2008 and their 5.56 C-93 CETME clone and their all-American-made flagship, the Centurion 39 Sporter in 7.62 X 39. Every since I visited the CZ factory in the Czech a few years back I've had a jones for the CZ Vz.58 battle rifle, even though I made the near-nonrecoverable error of asking the head of CZ worldwide whether the rifle was based on an AK platform. Open mouth; insert foot. They are wonderful little rifles, and in the $600-700 MSRP range an excellent and affordable alternative to the AKs. C-93s are what they are...tanks...the rifle equivalent of blunt trauma....a rifle you can't break on a bet. And the Centurion Sporter is a really slick implementation of the AK platform, and I love it that it is all American.

Before we get away from Century — and BTW, all the guys there seem to be having a wonderful time! — yes, the Sterling pistol (more correctly, the ColeFire Magnum) in 7.62 X 25...the more I handled it the more I thought this bad boy might need to come home with me. Sterlings only make sense when you handle them. Looking at one, you'd think it was some kludged-together mess that only the Empire would issue to Storm Troopers (insider joke alert!), but when you handle one they start making sense. Heaven knows I don't need a 7.62 Tokarev pistol (I already have a CZ52, just like everybody else in America), but the little Sterling is cute as a speckled pup.

One thing I keep forgetting to mention — and considering Ruger is a major sponsor, a very stupid omission! — is the redesigned Ruger 22/45 RP semiauto pistol. For years Ruger has offered their classic .22 pistol with a 1911-contured frame, making it a viable practice vehicle for 1911 shooters looking for a rimfire alternative. For the same number of years, I and many others have urged Ruger to make the 22/45 more 1911-like, and this year Ruger stepped up. The 22/45 now features standard 1911 grip panels for a much more 1911-y feel (looks a lot better, too). Magazine release and safety are in the same places. Serious competitors are going to go with conversion units for their 1911 frames, but if you don't have a .22, the 22/456 is the way to go.

And speaking of .22s, there we two that caught my eye...the DoubleStar .22 AR pistol and the MasterPiece Arms Mac-style MP-22T. Mossberg also took a major step in the right direction, rolling out their 464 lever action rifle in .22LR. I begged for a lever .22 464 when we got the first production line gun (and gave it away on DRTV) last year and the newly nimble Mossberg responded.

We're going to talk about the Mossberg ASAP backpacks on the podcast this week...I spent some time with my friend Dr. Bob Arnot, who'd just flown in from Haiti and has been instrumental in the survival backpacks, and we'll cover all of that on Wednesday. I've got good video with Dr. Bob as well.

I mentioned the Colt Defender series in 9mm (and shot the gun a bunch at Range Day), but Colt was also showing a DA 1911-styled .45 ACP. Colt has ventured — unsuccessfully — into double action with the Double was never a bad gun, but it paled in the face of the alloy-framed Sig P220 DA and other more modern designs.

Things I walked by and didn't even get a chance to touch...the Big Horn Armory .500 S&W Magnum lever action carbine, which cried out to me from the aisle..."take me home, Michael...take me home!" I'm going to order one for T&E ASAP...the Freedom Arms single shot pistol I've talked about'll definitely be seeing this one on our new handgun hunting series later this year...reall smart of Bill Baker to offer this in the excellent 6.5 X 55 chambering made famous in the Swedish Mausers. I did some SHOOTING GALLERY video on the S&W 329XL Hunter, a 6 1/2-inch hunting version of the ultralight scandium-framed thing I really like is the use of a blackened stainless steel cylinder instead of the 329PD titanium cylinder. I think the stainless cylinder should alter the recoil wave enough to take care of the pesky auto-locking problem on the bantam-weight guns. I also like the beefed-up fiber optic front sight on the Hunter. Black Dog Magazines rolled out their 50-round .22LR drum for the 10/22 and .22 AR conversions...there have been a bunch of 50-round LR extended capacity magazines, but none of them worked worth a darn. Black Dog has an enviable reputation for quality 100% feeding, so I'm hopeful.

Check out the video blog and the ever-faithful audio podcast on Wednesday! Marshal will be posting videos all week long! There's already a huge amount of video coverage of SHOT on and DRTV!

I gotta go walk Alf the Wonder Beagle, who has found it in her munificent beagle heart to forgive us for leaving her and the rest of the menagerie for a whole week!

PS: I don't care what the rest of the Internet thinks! I wanted a Bren Ten in the mid-1980s and I still want a Bren Ten. They're cool and they're unique...and hey, I shot Col. Cooper's Bren Ten #1, and it DID NOT SUCK! So there!

Friday, January 22, 2010


...for putting up with slow blogging! Every year I imagine I'm going to be posting tons of stuff the week I'm at SHOT...every year I don't. We do have an incredible amount of video to share with you over the coming weeks, and I'm going to start processing what I've seen starting next week. Basically, I had appointments every 30 minutes, with a couple of hours of autograph signing thrown in.

To all of you who stopped by, THANK YOU! Can't do this without you.

Saw some groundbreaking stuff I'll be talking about on the pods next week.

What I wanted enough to place purchase orders for:

• Bren Ten, 10mm
• Ithaca 1911, .45 ACP
• New locking gun case
• Mossberg ASAP Emergency Pack
• Dillon .50 BMG progressive press

And my "maybe but likely:"

• Robinson XCR, 7.62 X 39

More later....GOOD LORD I'm tired!

My feet hurt, too...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010

SHOT 2010 Range Day!

One down...4 to go! No pixs because we shot video like crazy people today...some initial impressions.

I'll be damned, but the 4th Gen Glock is a significant improvement...the combination of a slightly smaller base gripframe and the double spring recoil system translates into a more shootable, less-felt-recoil gun. Honest! I ran a bunch of magazines through the 4th Gen G17 9mm and am impressed enough to buy one...and that says a lot. My Sweetie, who has never been happy shooting a Glock, absolutely rocked with the 4GG17. Will have one for T&E ASAP, and I've already told Glock I'd be keeping it.

• Beretta's "home defense" shotgun is a pleasant surprise. The ancient company's first personal defense shotgun in 25 years is based on their new semiauto platform and is light light light. The gas systems sucks up the recoil, though, as good or better than my sporting clays Win X2. The Beretta gas system is also amazingly forgiving — we ran Federal LE slugs, Fed 9-pellet tactical buckshot and low brass field loads without a blip.

• The new Winchester .410 PDX1 self-defense rounds are incredible out of the Taurus Judge snub! The 3 "self-defense disks" stacked on top of 12 BBs may be the best round ever for the diminutive shotshell. I found the disk to actually group excellent at 5 yard targets, with the BBs adding that extra special loving touch.

No love on ammo...I talked to one of the most knowledgeable people in the industry, and he didn't offer me much comfort...we're looking at at least another year of this, maybe longer: "It's going to be loosening up as more imports fill the military ammo niche, but it's not going to go back to the way it was," he said.

• The next generation of the Barrett 98B .338 Lapua is a significant step forward. They had the proto at the range, and even sad and pathetic me was able to make 800-yard shots. The proto with its stainless steel match barrel was suppressed, which truly helps.

• I bought a Rat Pack fedora...expect to see it on SG!!!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Monkey on the Range!

This is an actual photo of me shooting the Pawnee Station cowboy match outside of Ft. Collins this morning. You know The Force isn't with you when, on the first stage, you unknowingly launch your base pin latch downrange and, when the gun stops working and someone shouts, "Base pin!" you shoot the stage holding the base pin in the revolver with your left index finger. I managed to bumble through one more stage until my brain finally turned on.

I'm thinking MORE COFFEE! Or maybe I can just start on stage 3...

Friday, January 15, 2010

Getting Ready for Vegas...

...sort of. Going to spend most of the day with visiting friends, shoot a cowboy match tomorrow AM then frenetically start throwing trashy cowboy shirts into a bag...instant Vegas!

Seriously, we've been agonizing over our SHOT coverage, and I think it's going to be a slam-dunk. Essentially, we'll be filming 2 episodes of SHOOTING GALLERY, which will air this season, from SHOT. We have multiple dedicated crews for DRTV and, including people focused on LEO/tactical, competition, accessories, etc.

I will be filming my weekly video podcast and recording my audio podcast from the OC booth on the floor of SHOT.

How fast we can get this up of course depends on the pipes out of Vegas, which in the past have been pretty good. The Media Room has high speed Internet, and all our computers are equipped with cell phone Internet links. Priority will go to breaking news, followed by what Marshal Halloway and I think are the most exciting new products.

For all you nerdy folk out there, we'll be using the big gun hi-def studio cameras for SG and some of the Internet stuff, but most of the heavy lifting will be done with Kodak Zi8 Internet cameras fitted with directional shotgun microphones.

Cry, 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of SHOT!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Headline on Drudge Tonight

Gangs Armed With Machetes Loot Port-Au-Prince
Central Business District Resembles Hell On Earth As Bodies Pile Up And Armed Men Battle Over Food, Supplies

Just a reminder that even a hell on earth like Haiti can get worse. The world can throw us curve balls that most people aren't ready for. Open your hearts and wallets for the suffering in Haiti, then make sure you're good on bread. bullets and band-aids. Stuff happens, even in America to Americans...

Must-See Video..., of all places, the New York Times, which has been running a series on the failures of the M4 rifle. There are two videos from the Colt labs, showing the failure of first a standard M4 (quite a failure, I might add), then a heavier barreled M4A1.
The first video shows an M-4 being subjected to an intensive sustained-firing test. The rifle used is the standard M-4 with a standard barrel. The weapon is secured on a bench and fed one full 30-round magazine after another without rest beyond the time it takes to replace empty magazines with full magazines.

Watch the video closely. After several magazines, the barrel smolders. Then it becomes red hot. After 1 minute and 20 seconds the barrel begins to droop between magazines — like a piece of warm licorice. Then comes the catastrophic ending, at 1 minute and 51 seconds and after the 535th round, when the barrel ruptures.

It is worth noting that the test simulates conditions that almost no soldier could face. In it, 18 magazines are fed through the rifle in less than two minutes. Soldiers and Marines armed with an M-4 or M-16 (the carbine’s longer-barreled parent) typically carry seven or so magazines.
I've seen M16s and M4s go red hot during sustained firing at Knob Creek, and I've seen AR barrels twist like pretzels when thrust red hot into cold water, but I've never seen a barrel rupture like the test barrel in the first video.

Not to defend the M4, but I do wonder if it's possible to build anything short of a squad automatic weapon that can stand up to sustained full auto fire. Obviously in the Colt tests the heavy barrel held up better, but it didn't make 1000 rounds either. I would rather see the military closely studying the results from competitions like Dave Lauck's hellish ITRC, where the carbine shooters can expect to run 1000+ rounds through their guns under as close to real world conditions as Dave and his military buddies can tinker together — an event designed to stress the guns to the max. There is a ton to be learned watching guns fail under these "lab" conditions!

As we said when we did the torture test on the Para 1911 a couple of years back, heat is the natural enemy of all metal, and we know how to generate a lot of heat.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Good Day in General...

My first full eye exam after the surgery — looks like my right eye can be corrected to (pause for effect) 20/25...much better than even the best case scenarios. I'm pretty excited about this...I can't wait to start working the new vision on the range. I ordered new glasses today, and the new prescription goes to Decot Hy-Wyd tomorrow, and I'll talk to their experts at SHOT.

My Sweetie and I went to the range today to do some video on the Para Tactical Target know, the TTR does have a pretty impressive lack of recoil...not that the 5.56 is a pounder in any case. I ran a bunch of different flavors of ball through it, in P-Mags, C-Mags, Brownell's mags and some old military mags with no problems whatsoever. This is a fast, fast rifle. Also the folding stock is hands-down the best one I've ever used. Hopefully, we'll get the videos up before SHOT.

I also got the first rounds through my new Cimarron/Long Hunter 1866 Winchester .44 Special. Sweet! Great trigger pull and super-smooth short-stroked lever action. I did have one FTF with Winchester Cowboy, but I can heavy up the trigger just a bit. The Federal primers in my usual match rounds are a bit softer than the Winchester factory primers.

BTW, I have decided to suck it up and buy an FAL — the plain vanilla SA-58...I've always been crazy about the rifles and as many as I've shot, I've never owned one. I will put a scope on it, new eye or not. I'm thinking of using it in an Appleseed Project class...I think it's time to do an Appleseed event for SHOOTING GALLERY, don't you?

This week's video podcast

You can also watch it here and with all the reference links.

This week's Down Range is here.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

1911 Lust!

Although they've definitely been flying under the radar, it appears that Detonics, still under the leadership of the legendary Bruce Siddle, author of SHARPENING THE WARRIOR'S EDGE, has emerged from its various legal battles with a new — and honest-to-goodness unique — Combat Master. The pic is from Bob Boyd's blog over at SHOOTING ILLUSTRATED, via Say Uncle. There's an accompanying article in SI, available on the Detonics website.

First, notice the octagonal barrel. I've got a lot of 1911s, but I have to say that's the first octagonal barrel I've run across. Next note the front sight mounted on the barrel, riding in a groove on the slide. This is an old competition trick that makes it easier to track the front sight, since it's not moving on the reciprocating slide. The new Combat Master also abandons the iconic rear sight mounted about an inch forward of the rear of the slide, ostensibly for easier Condition 2 — hammer down on a live round — carry by allowing the thumb to easily cock the hammer on the draw.

When I last talked to Bruce a couple of years back, he was showing some really slick Detonics/Wayne Novak collaborations, with a polymer-framed pocket pistol in the works.
The new Combat Master

Here's a crash history of the little gun from The Sight. I realize a lot of you wonder why some many of us obsess over this little gun with so many little 1911s around. Some of it is undeniably nostalgia...the Combat Master was the first little 1911 production gun and for years after the only little 1911 that actually worked. I had one of the original Combat Masters back in the early 1980s, and it was a superb little gun (I got rid of it only because someone offered me a stunning amount of classic S&W revolvers in trade)...I shot it in IPSC matches, even, and I don't recall it every choking. Compare that to my first-gen Colt Officer's Model, which worked only on Tuesdays and then only with hardball.

I wrote about the Detonics and little carry .45s here.

A couple of years back I got one of the resurrected Combat Masters from my friend and columnist on DRTV Jerry Ahern, who got the company back up and running until his backing money ran out. It was every bit as good a gun — maybe better, since the mags were 1911 standard and a regular 7/8-rounder could be used — but that version of Detonics ground to a halt in late 2007. 'm going to give Bruce a call today and see if we can set something up next week.

In the meantime, it's practically balmy here (above freezing), so I'm going to run to the range as soon as I finish the podcast and run some rounds through the Para Tactical Target Rifle...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Home From Tulsa Whirlwind...

Airport security tightens up!

...go ahead...ask me to say, "I'm Michael Bane and welcome to the all-new OUTDOOR CHANNEL.COM..." Okay, you can't go there yet, but when you can, well, there'll I'll be, pointing at this button or that tab. There's probably a website somewhere where you can see Mr. Weasel in all his (short) glory, since I kept getting shoved through full-body scanners at the airports. A few years back I hung out with this Israeli — Yes! Coming soon...our newest enemy! Israel! They like us...they support us...they don't want to blow themselves up on our airplanes! Let's bomb Tel Aviv! — security expert. We were were sitting around B-S'ing and he said, "You know American airport security isn't security, right? It's all theater for, what's the word you use? Shills?" Shills works. The worst part of the new "enhanced" security is that now all the players at the dinner theater think they're actually doing something other "Charlie's Aunt Redux."

Interesting conversation over at The View From North Central Idaho on pistol-style AR/AK firearms:
Can anyone fill me in on the particulars? Why an AK pistol, AR pistol, etc., other than the fact that the stocked version comes with the NFA hassles and tax for civilians? I mean; why are such pistols desired for defense and/or in combat? Or are they?
Joe's gotta point there...I love my Spike's 9mm pistol, which is a screaming hoot to shoot but not my first choice as teh ideal personal defense weapon. I suspect that most people end up with carbine-styled pistols because they don't want/can't go through the Class 3 song and dance.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sleepy Sunday...

...watching the last William Powell/Myrna Loy "Thin Man" movie, SONG OF THE THIN MAN, and pondering the coyote in the front yard...I'm hoping he's just passing better for his life expectancy if he was. If he hangs around, he's going to meet Mr. Gamo. We slept late this morning, largely because we could. I'm off to Tulsa late this evening for a quick day in the studio tomorrow wrapping up SHOT SHOW TV, then home to launder all my trashy cowboy shirts for the SHOT Show.

In the news, I note that my old friend Massad Ayoob has left LFI — the Lethal Force Institute — to head out on his own with the Massad Ayoob Group:
Massad will now be devoting more time to teaching attorneys how to defend justifiable homicide cases with CLE (Continuing Legal Education) programs run throughout the country under the auspices of state bar associations, in conjunction with ACLDN, the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network , and to train police instructors at selected law enforcement training academies around the country. He will continue to provide cutting-edge training for armed private citizens, through MAG.
I look LFI 1 somewhere back in the Dawn of Time...can't remember the exact date, but we did all the range work with the then-new open-top Colt percussion conversions. I've always said there were 2 must-take classes for CCW holders — the GUNSITE 250 and Mas' LFI 1. I wish him all the best; I'm only sorry that he does TV stuff for my competition!

I've been a fan of the writing of Mark Steyn since his book AMERICA ALONE. This is his most recent column, and it's — as usual — required reading:
Not long after the Ayatollah Khomeini announced his fatwa against Salman Rushdie, the British novelist suddenly turned up on a Muslim radio station in West London late one night and told his interviewer he'd converted to Islam. Marvelous religion, couldn't be happier, Allahu Akbar and all that. And the Ayatollah said hey, that's terrific news, glad to hear it. But we're still gonna kill you.

Well, even a leftie novelist wises up under those circumstances.

Evidently, the president of the United States takes a little longer.

Barack Obama has spent the past year doing big-time Islamoschmoozing, from his announcement of Gitmo's closure and his investigation of Bush officials, to his bow before the Saudi king and a speech in Cairo to "the Muslim world" with far too many rhetorical concessions and equivocations. And at the end of it the jihad sent America a thank-you note by way of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's underwear: Hey, thanks for all the outreach! But we're still gonna kill you.
Good piece.

Finally, the one gun I'd really like to see at SHOT that probably won be there. New from WETA, the Righteous Bison Indivisible Particle Smasher!
The Righteous Bison is no ordinary raygun. Far from it.
Where traditionally manufacturers in the Wave Oscillation genre have (some say lazily) gone down the well charted route of heft and mass, the Righteous Bison has been designed with the handler in mind. Portability and wieldability have been the guiding lights for the ground breaking team of young talent that's been put in charge of this whimsical undertaking.
It is furthermore an eminently suitable accessoire to your pseudo-victorian attire for weekending in the country or impressing your peers at parties or other large gatherings. The Righteous Bison can take a fair amount of man-handling. And even more woman-handling!
The result, ladies and gentlemen, as I'm sure you agree, is nothing short of pretty good. The gun is about the same weight as a small brown trout (or two pints of Pale Ale) and can be fired continuously without exhausting the sportsman. Much like a good man-servant.
This baby could revolutionize USPSA shooting! This is the first description of a gun that I've read in the last 12 months that didn't include the word "operator!"

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Letting Our Freak Flag Fly...

Neat story in the local rag, the Boulder Camera, on our homies at MagPul:
There's a decent chance that if you walked up to a U.S. soldier fighting in Iraq or Afghanistan, some piece of equipment on his rifle would be stamped with the words, "Boulder, CO."

But Magpul Industries, a growing manufacturer of injection-molded plastic parts primarily for use on the AR-15 weapons platform, isn't actually located in Boulder -- rather it's a few hundred yards from the Boulder County border in Erie.

The company's head honchos know this geographical fact, but they like the bit of irony that comes from a weapon-gear manufacturer operating so close to the liberal stronghold of Boulder.

"We put Boulder, Colorado, on everything that we make, and really that's just a slap in the face to the hippies," said Drake Clark, senior director of sales and business development for Magpul.

Hippie-slapping aside, Clark is dead serious about what Magpul does.
No doubt we can expect anti-MagPul drum circles in no time at all.

"They're not people, they're hippies!...I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about 'protectin' the earth" and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets — I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!"
— Eric Cartman
"Die Hippie Die!" episode of SOUTH PARK

There's a certain humor that here in the People's Republic of Boulder County — 50 square miles surrounded by reality — MagPul anchors the eastern side, I anchor the western side and Col. Robert Brown, founder and publisher of SOLDIER OF FORTUNE Magazine, sits right smack in the belly of the beast on the edge of the University of Colorado campus...hippie central!

This AM I was reading a piece on .22 training on another site (which since I'm not looking for a flame war, I'll fail to mention)...although I didn't agree with some of the conclusions, I realized it reminded me of a very important "truism" — poor practice technique always yields poor real world results. Doesn't matter whether you're practicing with a .22 or a 40mm grenade launcher.

I've been a big proponent of using a .22 for practice in these grim times of no ammo, but it's probably worth stating that all practice — especially practice with dry-firing, AirSoft or lesser caliber guns — must be mindful practice to be useful. When we are practicing with something other than our working firearm, be it competition or personal protection, and standard power ammunition, we need to remind ourselves that we are not exploring the limits of the practice tool. It sort of reminds me of "draft training" on a bicycle...when I was a "serious" amateur triathlete down in Florida when the world was still cooling, we would occasionally do draft training behind a truck....essentially we head out to rural country roads where a friend of ours would drive at increasing speeds while we would draft behind the truck.

The purpose of the drill wasn't to set a land speed record on a bicycle or see how long we could hang onto the draft until the truck sped away. Rather, we were "training" our legs and our body positions on the bike for increased speed. We learned physical lessons we were able to take back to unassisted peddling...and it made us incrementally faster.

Friday, January 08, 2010

A Public Service Announcement...

...from Reason TV...

Another Day in the Studio

The Newest DRTV Giveaway Gun!!!

I'm gearing myself up to sit in front of the lights, working on the weekly video blog...what's going to be cool about this SHOT Show is the deluge of new products this year. Last year, everyone sat on their new products because in the superheated sales bubble they couldn't keep up with orders for existing products, much less something new. The exception, BTW, was Taurus International, who introduced 10 new products at last year's SHOT and eventually I believe bought all 10 to the market.

I want to touch on several gun-bloggers doing great work this last week. Tam at View from the Porch has been experimenting with the position of her AR vertical grip:
One thing for which I've been using my AR carbine blue gun is experimenting with the forward support hand hold that has emerged from 3-gun competitions. It does indeed seem to allow for a steadier front sight while moving. This differs from the Modern Technique/Gunsite/Pat Rogers school where the support hand is further aft, perhaps even gripping the mag well.
My own experience has moved me to a more forward grip on all my long guns. I'm not crazy about vertical foregrips in general. I know real "operators" with the CT laser/white light vertical foregrip mounted, but used primarily as a reference point. When I worked with some SEAL guys 5 or 6 years ago, all of them were using a very rearward hold, most using the front of the magazine well as the hold point.

I talked awhile back on the podcast about how that has now changed, with the high-speed guys we've worked with recently all using a very forward support-hand hold, with the support hand rotated higher up on the forearm, a la 3-gun competition shooters. I decided to give it a try, and darned if it didn't work. especially in fast multiple target acquisitions. Part of that (and the reason I'm not crazy about vertical foregrips) is that with a forward, rotated-up grip, the weak index finger is actually pointing at the target — goes back to my "what monkeys do" training concepts. Monkeys point good.

I've carried this over to the grip I use on my cowboy rifles, and it's working great. Quick net — a more forward grip means less of the rifle swinging around like a pendulum do; the "monkey point good" moves the barrel/front sight of the rifle toward the target as you mount the rifle, which is fast, and, I like the "reference point" at the front of the forearm for where my hand goes.

Ralph Lermayer over at is looking at the .458 SOCOM cartridge and has some thoughts on how cartridges are developed:
This cartridge, however, the .458 SOCOM (.458 Special Operations Command) was reportedly given birth over a barbeque and some cold brew. It was at an informal gathering of special ops personnel, specifically Task Force Ranger, when the subject of stopping power came up. It seems it took multiple hits to permanently take the opposition "out of the game" in Mogadishu, Somalia. The consensus was a one-shot stop would sure be nice. Marty ter Weeme, founder of a company called Teppo Jutsu, L.L.C., went to work. In 2000 a sledgehammer cartridge that would launch 250- to 600-grain .45 caliber bullets from a standard size AR-15 with a proper barrel and chamber was born — enter the .458 SOCOM.
I've always liked the idea of the .45-.50 AR-15 conversions, mostly because I'm a big bore kinda guy (some say big boring kinda guy), but ever enough to commit. I've thought that, aside from the hunting applications — the primary driver for most of these cartridges — it made sense in a home defense scenario...the ability to launch 45-70-level lead softballs from a semiauto platform.

Finally, the newest DRTV GIVEAWAY GUN arrived yesterday, and it's a doozey! That's's one of the brand new WILSON COMBAT SPEC-OPS 16+1 9mm 1911-style pistol. Here's the skivvy from the Wilson Combat catalog:
In today’s environment more Americans than ever before are getting their concealed carry permits, one common thread that runs through them all is lighter and more rounds are better. Light weight polymer, 16 + 1 rounds of 9mm, proven fire control system, and built by Wilson Combat, could you ask for more? For some time now we have been working on this new pistol applying the things that we have learned with more than thirty years of building custom pistols combined with our own experience in daily concealed carry. The Spec Ops 9 is the perfect combination to fit the demands of daily use and concealed carry, built with all the features that our customers have asked for and that we demand. If you are looking for a light weight, high capacity, real world fighting pistol the Spec Ops 9 may be exactly what you need in your next pistol purchase.
I've been playing around with the gun (and no, sadly, I'm not going to shoot it, because we want our lucky winner to have that privilege), and I like this gun a lot. Heaven knows I've been shooting Bill Wilson's guns for a long, long time, and every one just feels right in your hands. I have to confess that as I handled the Spec-Ops, I started thinking, "Hmmmmmm..." But, no, I don't suppose Alf the Wonder Beagle is eligible to win a DRTV gun...

I'm shooting video today, and we'll have the contest up and running before SHOT!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

View Out My Office Window Right Now

Wily E. Coyote in full winter coat! The tree on the right is my "marker" 10 yard tree for my air pistol...hmmmmm...wouldn't he make a nice jacket?

Excellent New Fashion Trends

While I was swilling my pot of coffee this morning, I noted that the Today Show, that great arbiter of American tastes, says that "man bags" are once again hot fashion items. Hey, that's great news for men everywhere! You can carry a bigger gun! And extra ammo! A really big Crocodile Dundee knife! Two lights, a laser designator, a PowerBar and a pack of Kleenex...and still be hot-Hot-HOT! I was gonna take the survey linked above as to whether man bags were unmanly, except there was no answer that said: NO! Now I can carry a Skorpion!

First, the response to our prototype video blog has been GI-NORMOUS! We're very happy, and I'll be back in the studio Friday (because I'll be back in the studio in Tulsa on Monday) for the second edition.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

TA-DA!!! The Weekly Video Podcast

And NOOOOOOO, we're not going to keep calling it "The Weekly Video Podcast!" This is just a beta test after all, and we don't have a "formal" name yet. You got any suggestions?

This is the format we're starting with, and so far, the response has been all we hoped! Right now, the Vlog is available in the following locations:

When we get out of beta, it will also be available on

Marshal and I, like rust, never sleep!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

MB on History Channel Tonight...the Most Depressing Man in America Strikes!

AFTER ARMAGEDDON, a History Channel 2-hour special documentary on life after a virulent flu pandemic, aired earlier and will air again tonight and several times this week. Here's the schedule.

I was one of the "experts" for the show...I got a call just before Christmas from the Times of London, who'd read the transcript...the reporter said I must be, "The most depressing man in America." Well, okay! Here's the scenario set-up, from RAWtv, the Brit production company who put the show together:
After Armageddon, the feature length drama documentary from RAW is being shown on The History Channel USA on Tuesday January 5th at 8pm and again on Wednesday January 6th at 12pm.

AFTER ARMAGEDDON tells the story of what happens to North America after it is devastated by a major flu pandemic, an unprecedented disaster which leaves 90% of the population dead. Based on hard scientific research and cutting edge disaster planning, this film shows just how close we are to the collapse of society as we know it.
Well, yee-ha, if that's the scenario you give me you gotta expect something less than sunshine and lollipops! I said, in essence, the survivors would be fighting over the scraps of the scraps. Sorry...

You Will Notice...

...that I failed to do anything on the blog that I said I would do yesterday. I was in the studio forever working on the prototype weekly video blog...I know it'll get easier once we figure out what we're doing. The audio podcast was the same way...Marshal and I thrashed around for a month or so before the format jelled. Still, the thought of another weekly commitment, especially a video one, is daunting. On the funny side, I told my Maximum Overlords that I would need Mondays to put together the audio and video podcasts, so I would not be available to travel until Tuesday AM. No problemo, they said...and you need to be in Tulsa next Monday...sigh...

Had a long telephone meeting late yesterday evening with Larry Potterfield (who got his elephant in Africa, in addition to the Baldridge Award for quality, last month) about GUN STORIES, one of our new series that Larry will be hosting. The plan at this point is for Stephen Hunter (and you have purchased I, SNIPER, haven't you?) to join us as our chief analyst. The series is starting to come together (I hope) case would be a 3rd Quarter 2010 premiere.

Finally, an apology...for deep-seated psychological reasons I don't fully understand, I keep referring to the new Ruger GP-100 .327 as an SP-101. It is possibly a case of residual brain damage from my checkered past, or a malfunctioning chip in my volatile RAM array, or the fact that because of the ravages of man-caused global warming I can no longer remember a time when the outside temperature was above freezing. Or it could be cosmic any case, my Sweetie went to Ace Hardware and got a shock collar, sized medium, so I anticipate this problem will be — ARGH ACK SIZZLE!!! — short-lived!

In the meantime, you can watch the "leaked" YouTube SHOT Show video on the, Remington ACR carbine...

Monday, January 04, 2010


...will be going up all day on DRTV...the first SR9c videos are already up and running here.

I will have more photos and shooting impressions on DRTV and the blog as the day progresses...The 3 guns I have are:

1) SR9c 9m compact pistol...10 rounds and ships with a 2nd 17-round SR9 magazine and grip adapter that slips on the longer full-sized mag...slightly larger in slide length and width than baby Glock G26, but trigger I've felt on an out-of-the-box SR9 (even Pincus would like it)...

2) 7-SHOT GP-101 in .327 Magnum...that's right, Ruger as learned to count past 6! This represents a major expansion of the venerable SP-101 line and (along with the next gun) an equally major commitment to the .327 cartridge. The gun is a sweetheart to shoot compared to a .357 of the same vintage, plus it picks up the extra round. I was shooting Federal Personal Protection 85-grain .327s — rare as hen's teeth!

3) MY FAVORITE, and a gun I will definitely be buying, an 8-SHOT .327 Magnum Blackhawk! This is destined to be the small game gun of the year (and we already have some ideas for ourin-the-works handgun hunting show). Essentially, imagine a new Model Blackhawk (the larger XR3-RED gripframe rather than the smaller XR3 on the Anniversary Model .357s) with 8 holes in the cylinder instead of the 6 you expect. My version is stainless with a 5.5-inch barrel. I haven't mic'ed it yet, but the gun appears identical to my .357 New Model and fits all my standard Blackhawk holster. I've shot it with the hot .327s and a whole bunch of .32 H&Rs, and recoil is negligible.

Okay...I gotta go edit video for awhile, but i will be adding photos and more impressions throughout the day. Check in regularly on DRTV as Marshal posts the videos! I'll also be discussing my shooting impressions on the Wednesday podcast.

Friday, January 01, 2010

My New Year's Resolutions

I considering "rolling in poo," but finally decided to keep it short, sweet and better smelling:
1) Shoot more
a) Move myself up as a cowboy action shooting competitor.
b) Get a grip on long-distance shooting with the .50 BMG (and reloading for the Big .50).
c) Take the GUNSITE 250 class again, this time with a compact semiauto.
d) Start swaging bullets.
e) Take a rifle class with an FAL.
f) Finally learn how to fit a 1911 barrel.
g) Take a sporting clays seminar so I don't humiliate myself every time I shoot with Larry Potterfield.
h) Get an old Ruger .357 Maximum, which I profoundly do not need...but want...
2) Make a holster, which I've been assured "any idiot" can do...speaking as a veteran "any idiot," I think it's a crap-shoot.
3) Get a new hat...I'm currently thinking a Herbert Johnson "Poet" fedora, also chosen by Indiana Jones and the greatest Dr. Who of them all, Tom Baker.
4) Do whatever is necessary to keep my Sweetie happy, because she's a far better person than I deserve and I remain at a complete loss of why she puts up with me.
5) Continue to walk the dog religiously.
Went to the range today to sight in my .44 Specials with a new cowboy load...although it's tundra-like out there, I thought we'd go to Cheyenne tomorrow AM to shoot a cowboy match, and I thought it'd be fun to shoot some real guns for a change.

Spent some time with several of the new Rugers as well. We've got videos of the Rugers, and you'll see them on DRTV next week. Am also trying to run down a 4th Gen Glock to play with...I'll be shooting one at the Media Day before SHOT, but I'd like one in advance. My little cherubs and seraphim tell me that the new 4th Gen guns in .40 Short & Weak have solved the persistent problems of failures-to-feed when the guns were fitted with a weapons-mount lights like the Insight or SureFire, which was giving Glock fits in police market.

New Year's Resolutions

For Alf the Wonder Beagle:
This year, a drive-by on an elk
Roll in poo at least once every walk
Hump the cat
Bay a lot