Thursday, March 11, 2010

An Amazing New Investment Opportunity


I was groggily watching morning television and swilling coffee when a commercial caught my eye — the amazing EZ Egg Cracker! I hadn't realized how much of a crisis improperly cracked eggs actually are. I think it's fair to say that hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives are tortured and profoundly changed when, say, an egg-cracking gets out of control and yeechy yokes and sticky whites go spilling  across the counter. Or even worse, run down the counters onto the floor, driving Alf the Wonder Beagle into a licking frenzy? That's why the EZ Egg Cracker is sheer genius! Once again, American who have shunned the sad sad egg for fear of EB* (*Egg Blow-out) can add scrambled eggs back into their protein-deficient diet (if they get the optional Egg Scrambler, of course). This is the kind of thinking America needs if we are going to survive the Obama Error...er...Era.

Now that we've addressed Serious Cultural Issues, I'd like to refer you to a fascinating article from the Cato Institute on gun control after McDonald:
...jurisdictions will be forced to allow some form of handgun carry, either open or concealed. Outright bans on concealed carry cited in cases from the mid-1800’s come from a time when it was assumed that only brigands carried handguns concealed, and it was an unquestioned right of the people to carry arms openly wherever they went. States and localities will not be able to delete the right to bear arms from the right to keep and bear arms.
My colleague Tom Palmer is currently litigating this issue in the District of Columbia (complaint here), and states will have to confront the plain text of the Second Amendment and clear historical recognition of a right to be armed outside the home.
California allows open carry as long as the handgun is unloaded, but Los Angeles and other jurisdictions in the state refuse to issue concealed handgun permits. California will probably opt for concealed carry when push comes to shove. Public views have shifted to an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality, and concealed carry is the rule in most states. A California police officer recently put a comment up on Facebook that proposes intimidating open carriers with violence. “Haha, we had one guy last week try to do it! He got proned out and reminded where he was at and that turds will jack him for his gun in a heartbeat!” Turds indeed.

10 comments:

kmitch200 said...

Turds indeed

Would that turd be wearing a badge by any chance?

ericire12 said...

You laugh, but people will buy that stupid egg thingy, and who ever invented it will make a considerable amount of money

Anonymous said...

I still prefer the matched Hillary Clinton Nutcracker and Bill Clinton Corkscrew set that Santa gave me this past Christmas.

Anonymous said...

EricIre is right, look at the "Pet Rock"
Tom Bogan

Anonymous said...

Ahh, the pet rock, I always wished I'd gotten one. I've been deprived or maybe depraved. the mushroom

Ber950 said...

Of course the real issue is will "may issue" stand up to the test. If allowed to stand there will be no changes in places like HI or NYC. On the other hand if "may issue is rejected by the court its going to get very interesting.

atm said...

Someone turned a bathrobe around backwards, called it a Snuggie, and made millions.

nj_larry said...

Regards the EZ Egg Cracker....I long ago recognized that as someone who made a living selling stuff to other folks, we are all whores in this business. We just are negotiating for what and how much. Billy Mays gets as much respect from me as any gun exec shilling their wares.

Matthew said...

DC is incredibly hoop-filled "shall-issue" on possession if I read the post-Heller rules correctly. Palmer's case states basically that "license to possess" is in DC "license to carry in some form".

If Palmer wins that thus means "shall-issue" carry in DC.

If McDonald goes as expected, DC, being jackasses and willing to litigate rather than voluntarily improve, will probably set the benchmark for what the minimum on allowable possession and carry restrictions will be.

That sucks, but do recall that in most states, once "shall-issue" got in, the various restrictions have been incrementally removed, not added. For example, Alaska (admittedly about as "pro-gun" as a state can get) went from "no CC in towns" to "shall-issue" to Vermont+ in just a decade.

I believe possession in HI and such is currently better than DC, the easiest course for the anti-gun legislators there will be to simply make their Heller-compliant (shall-issue)
possession permits also CC permits (on the "out of sight" idea). I doubt they'll risk having what they have, if it meets Heller, overturned in a messy losing court fight.

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