"VPC Blog" Satire Site

I'm a little behind the curve on this site but it is funny. Here's the "VPC Blog" take on the venerable Broomhandle Mauser:

It served as the inspiration for all other assault pistols, such as the MAC-10, TEC-9, and Glock. As we all know, the deadly secret of assault pistols is that their magazine is inserted in front of the trigger. The reason for this deadliness is that bullets gain extra power from the position of the magazine. Plus, a murderer could hold onto the magazine using his free hand, producing deadly firing stability.

An even more deadly advancement came in the 1930s, when it was modified to be a “machine pistol,” rapidly spraying bullets with a single press of the trigger. This is not to be confused with the even more deadly semi-automatic version, which is just as even more deadly as the full-automatic version. Both definitely are bullet hoses, despite what the Gun Blobbers say.

In 1977, this assault weapon found its way into the hit movie Star Wars. This was a propaganda coup for the Gun Blobby, indoctrinating a whole generation of children into desiring these deadly weapons. In this absurd and violent story, the fictional character Han Solo savagely murdered Greedo, a law enforcement officer, with this weapon. NRA-shill George Lucas tried to make it look like “self-defense” in his “special edition” version of Star Wars. But the VPC was able to put a stop to that with our “Han Shot First” campaign.