Frankly, I am stunned — STUNNED! — at the absence of up-to-the-picosecond coverage of the escalating Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston crisis in the mainstream media (MSM)!
For those of you Luddites who live in caves, or Omaha, or one of those other ichy places, on Saturday the world gasped at the news that the Pitt-Aniston marriage was on the rocks. I fully expected that at least by today, E! Entertainment Television would be going full tsunami, with every single correspondent, unemployed Mom, camp follower and even truckloads of dogs and cats wired for the Internet on the way West in to cover the break-up of the Golden Couple.
But NOOOOOOOO, it's Monday, and WHERE IS THE ALL BRAD/JEN ALL-THE-TIME COVERAGE??? I mean, it's not like they're real people or anything. They're celebrities...commodities, albiet with excellent packaging, flawless public relations, good suits and, yes, cleavage to die for...but people? NAAAWWWWW...let's face it — between 'em, you probably couldn't scape up a single brain, but damn, they is pretty! The MSM isn't good for much, but you'd think they could deliver a little sleazy gossip. Paging Dan Rather! You need to get on the frequency there, Danny-boy! This could be your last big story!
On a personal note, in truth, I have not been so shocked since the stunning break-up of Julia "Mommy" Roberts and the sainted Lyle Lovett.
And Jennifer honey, if you need anything, even if it's just to talk...I'm listed...and I care!
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