Black Friday

When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road...

— Steely Dan
Black Friday

Okay...I considered getting up at 3 AM, weaving my way down icy canyon roads, standing in line as the doors open and spending my entire post-Thanksgiving day buying second-rate plastic Chinese crap that probably wouldn't survive the trip back up the canyon. However, I decided finally to sleep in. Maybe I can order my quota of second-rate plastic Chinese crap on-line. Is it true that you can buy a Chinese stuffed panda toy that when ingested gives you a rush like a combination of ecstacy and NyQuil if you can survive the diarrhea?

Well, true or not, it should be.

This, however, is true (from Drudge):

'Girls Gone Wild' founder alleges torture while in Oklahoma jail

CHICKASHA -- The founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise has accused Grady County jailers of going wild and torturing him during a brief stay at the facility.

He probably refused to pull up his shirt and show his man boobies...this is an example of one of those data points that actually goes nowhere, except maybe proving that the Great Spirit has a wicked sense of humor. Or not. I'm feeling a little low this AM because my lemon merengue pie tanked...our Kitchen Aide mixer turned itself into a Kitchen Aide barely mechanized spoon...yet another overpriced, overrated Kitchen Aide appliance to go south here at Festung Bane...and I had to hand-whip the merengue (sounds like one of those videos the guy from "Girls Gone Wild" makes, huh?). So my merengue ended up not firm enough and immediately started deconstructing. I was humbled. The lemon custard was still good, though.

It's too cold to do much of anything except sit in the house and try to trick Alf the Wonder Dog out of her premium place in front of the fire. So far, the dog is winning. I'm going to bludgeon myself into a half-hour of dry-firing with cowboy guns and maybe a little with a 1911. Spend the rest of the day on the stationary bicycle and peddle off the turkey...