An Amazing New Investment Opportunity

I was groggily watching morning television and swilling coffee when a commercial caught my eye — the amazing EZ Egg Cracker! I hadn't realized how much of a crisis improperly cracked eggs actually are. I think it's fair to say that hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives are tortured and profoundly changed when, say, an egg-cracking gets out of control and yeechy yokes and sticky whites go spilling  across the counter. Or even worse, run down the counters onto the floor, driving Alf the Wonder Beagle into a licking frenzy? That's why the EZ Egg Cracker is sheer genius! Once again, American who have shunned the sad sad egg for fear of EB* (*Egg Blow-out) can add scrambled eggs back into their protein-deficient diet (if they get the optional Egg Scrambler, of course). This is the kind of thinking America needs if we are going to survive the Obama Error...er...Era.

Now that we've addressed Serious Cultural Issues, I'd like to refer you to a fascinating article from the Cato Institute on gun control after McDonald:

...jurisdictions will be forced to allow some form of handgun carry, either open or concealed. Outright bans on concealed carry cited in cases from the mid-1800’s come from a time when it was assumed that only brigands carried handguns concealed, and it was an unquestioned right of the people to carry arms openly wherever they went. States and localities will not be able to delete the right to bear arms from the right to keep and bear arms.

My colleague Tom Palmer is currently litigating this issue in the District of Columbia (complaint here), and states will have to confront the plain text of the Second Amendment and clear historical recognition of a right to be armed outside the home.

California allows open carry as long as the handgun is unloaded, but Los Angeles and other jurisdictions in the state refuse to issue concealed handgun permits. California will probably opt for concealed carry when push comes to shove. Public views have shifted to an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality, and concealed carry is the rule in most states. A California police officer recently put a comment up on Facebook that proposes intimidating open carriers with violence. “Haha, we had one guy last week try to do it! He got proned out and reminded where he was at and that turds will jack him for his gun in a heartbeat!” Turds indeed.