From Sky News in the UK:
Beaver Bites Man To Death In Belarus Attack
The beaver pounced as a man went to take its photograph after spotting the animal on the side of a road during a fishing trip.
A fisherman has been bitten to death by a beaver after trying to take its photograph. The man was on a fishing trip at Lake Shestakov in Belarus with two friends when they spotted the animal on the side of the road.
His friends attempted to stem the flow of blood from the wound but the animal’s bite had severed a main artery and the man, who came from Brest, bled to death...
Earlier this week a video was posted on YouTube showing a man in the Tver region, northwest of Moscow, running away from a beaver who charged at him as he was filming in the area.
Last year in the US two girls were mauled by a beaver in a lake in Virginia as they swam. They suffered serious bite and scratch injuries. A man was also attacked in New York and an elderly woman in Washington. In 2003 in Belarus a farm manager and farmhand were bitten by a rabid beaver as they tried to chase it from a barn. They survived the attack.
Beavers are the second largest rodents in the world.People, this is real and it's happening right now! Beavers around the world are turning on humans, savaging them in ways a sane person can hardly imagine! Terrifying, and I live in...Beaver Country!
Don't let those talking beavers in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe fool you...beavers are some nasty actors.
Could this be the dreaded Beaverpocalypse spoken of by the Mayans, who predicted that at exactly 5:34 PM Mayan Standard Time on April 11, 2013 (or more correctly, in the words of the ancient calendar, "Later...like much later...chill dude") the Whipoosh would rise from the Sacred Lake and, in general, kick some human ass? Paging Aslan!
I'm not taking any chances...I'm loading 60-round SureFire AR magazines as we speak, and everybody knows they're TWICE scary as 30-rounders (Ooooooooh...scary scary...60-rounders...call Governor Hickenstoopid!).
I've been doing some internet research...as you can see in this picture from an ancient manuscript...
...humanity has been living on borrowed time. I think now we can say with some authority what killed the dinosaurs!
Wait wait...I think I can get this right...
There once was a man from Brest
With a beaver biting his chest
Not in the thigh
He said with a sigh
Or I'll be as dead as the rest!
(Beaver cartoon from Open Clip Art Library/Lemmling)
I'm glad you're able to maintain your sense of humor as always!
ReplyDeleteI hope to be able to join you at the "Michael Buys the Beer" evens and I have no problems buying my own suds, as long as I know where and when to show up.
And all this time I thought it would be zombies, dammit!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to Michael buys the Beer !!! My first time at this illustrious event !!!
ReplyDeleteNot to give you nightmares or nuthin, but Pleistocene (that's Ice Age) beavers were the size of a VW Beetle.
ReplyDeleteRev. 12:92 - And the water rodents shall verily course through the world, wreaking savage mayhem and odontial destruction on mankind.
I once managed to snag a beaver while pond fishing up in Summit County. He swam in circles around the pond, throwing me the evil eye as he passed me each lap. He also started slapping his tail against the water, which spooked all the fish. If looks could kill, I'd've been DOA.
ReplyDeletebeavers have orange teath that grow like fingernails.. they have to chew to keep them at servicable length, or they will grow into around into their brain and they die. Hey, you would be ornery too, if you were dealt that hand!
ReplyDeleteNever met a beaver worth a dam..
ReplyDeleteWhat is your suggested sidearm for beaver defense?
ReplyDeleteLiving in oregon and on a river, we sometimes have to deal with these bastards. years ago a beaver got into a fight with my german shepard and won. it bit him several times and put a huge gash in his shoulder. mom had to put alot of stitches in that dog. beaver also loves to chop down fruit trees. if you come face to face with a angry beaver shoot it.
ReplyDeleteAngry beavers...
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Angry_Beavers
Jim Bouton wrote in his memoir "Ball Four", that "shooting beaver" was a favorite activity of baseball players. LOL
ReplyDeleteRead the book. I'm sure Jim Bouton was talking about a different species :)
ReplyDeleteI think that this "thread" is about to deteriorate.....
ReplyDeleteLife Member
Nothing worse than an angry beaver. Ask Winona.
ReplyDeleteI've seen many beavers over the years, big and small. young and old.
ReplyDeletelight haired to dark. even saw a couple of bald beaver's.
was quite a thrill.
thanks for share...
ReplyDelete