Saturday, July 19, 2014

Another Stunning Scandal Uncovered!

As the world continues to fall apart, New Jersey residents huddle in their homes as anacondas run wild...from Fox:
New Jersey reptile expert reportedly told to 'keep mouth shut' about anaconda on loose 
A reptile expert said Friday that he wants to go "on the record" and confirm that New Jersey authorities are searching for an anaconda, not a boa constrictor in the state's largest lake. 
"I was sworn to keep my mouth shut by local officials to avoid causing a panic," Gerald Andrejcak, the specialist,told NJ.com. "Now that there's a panic, I'm going on the record."
Personally, I'm terrified! I mean, it's been raining a lot at the Secret Hidden Bunker, and anacondas are notoriously sneaky. An anaconda ate Jon Voight -- and don't tell me that was just a movie! Btw! Am I the only one who thinks that was Jennifer Lopez' greatest role? And I'm just spitballing here, but do you think an anaconda could swallow Chris Christie?

6 comments:

  1. I would say the titanoboa MIGHT have been able to, but that human puffer fish would just continue to inflate with his self-generated BS and hot air until the snake gave up.

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  2. Anonymous5:40 AM

    Anacondas took up a whole new meaning after Sir Mixalot released "Baby's Got Back".

    So now when I hear "anaconda" I laugh my ass off.

    Pun intended.

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  3. Anonymous8:22 AM

    Selena....

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  4. In a 44 Mag I would prefer a S&W.

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  5. If they catch it (highly improbable) they can move it to NYC to eat the alligators in the sewers.

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  6. jaybet3:38 PM

    I've seen that Anaconda. His name is Vinnie and he runs a poker game on thursday nights in Hoboken.

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