Irate Beaver 'Takes Man Hostage'
A rogue beaver struck terror into the heart of a man making his way home late at night in the Latvian city of Daugavpils, according to a local newspaper report picked up byLatvian Public Broadcasting. The man, identified only as Sergei, says the beaver ran out of some bushes and suddenly bit him. He fell over as he tried to fight the rodent off and was bitten again as he tried to get up. In what USA Today describes as a "Kafkian nightmare," Sergei phoned police as the beaver "held him hostage" and refused to let him get up, only to have his plea for help allegedly dismissed as a prank call.
Have I not been warning you all of the Beaver Apocalypse for months, ne, years??? Be ready for the sound of slapping tails!!!!
I've heard that flowers or chocolate can help you out if you're held hostage by beaver.
ReplyDeleteIf that doesn't do it, try jewelry.
Rabies! Unless Sergei is really Groot.
ReplyDeleteAttackee bija teikt, ka viņš bija "Woodie" šim zvēram.
ReplyDelete; )
Life Member
I saw Irate Beaver play on a double bill with L7 back in 1991.
ReplyDeleteMy understanding is that North American Arms has seen a massive increase in sales of their little single actions, which, parenthetically, will the the small paws of beavers...
ReplyDeleteThis is real, folks...
mb
Maybe we just need to appease the Beavers with an Aid package. Can't we send John Kerry to negotiate with them?
ReplyDeleteMost of us have been taken hostage by a beaver at some point in our lives.
ReplyDelete"Beavers" control HALF of the money and ALL of the sex in the world!
ReplyDeleteLife Member
As we ponder the Beaver revolution....
ReplyDeleteTonite the Republican candidate for President of the United States is Donald J Trump. Done. Now lets do everything in our power to get him elected in November.
Let everyone in OUR party know that you are supporting him too. Lest they try to derail him and put in another panty-waist like Romney. Send comments to Trump's campaign offices to let them know your expectations too.
ReplyDeleteEven though Mark Levin "thinks" that he hates Trump, we need to start a "Draft Mark Levin for Supreme Court Justice" campaign. At least he will remain a loyal Constitutional Conservative regardless of who's in the Oval Office.
Life Member
Leave it to Beaver
ReplyDeleteAnd remember, The Second Amendment GUARANTEES the right to keep and bear arms. Start petitioning your Representatives in the House and the Senate to draft and approve a bill that ensures that the US government issues appropriate guns to all us citizens. We need to practice Swiss "gun control". After all, it is a right granted by God.
ReplyDeleteLife Member