Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The End of the World as We Know It Comes!

From Reuters, sad, sad news:
Weekly World News to close
(aliens not blamed!)

MIAMI (Reuters) - Publisher American Media Inc. said on Tuesday it will stop printing the Weekly World News, which for 28 years gleefully chronicled the exploits of alien babies, animal-human hybrids and dead celebrities.

The company said in a brief statement it would end the print version of the tabloid newspaper next month but would maintain the online version (
The Weekly World News, which boasted it was "The World's Only Reliable Newspaper," reveled in shocking and almost always exclusive reports about extra-terrestrials, ghosts, scoundrels and scientific discoveries, such as the cure for lovesickness found on the walls of an ancient Mexican monument.

Bat Boy, the half-bat, half-human child found in a cave, was a regular feature. After the September 11 attacks, the tabloid reported he had been enlisted in the hunt for Osama bin Laden because of his special cave-dwelling skills.
Sigh...I always had aspirations of becoming the 34-pound Grasshopper Correspondent, traveling the Midwest in search of the elusive giant insects. Another dream bites the dust!


From the London Daily Mail:
UFO sightings bring town to a standstill
Last updated at 11:27am on 25th July 2007

A crowd of 100 stunned stargazers brought a town centre to a standstill when five mysterious UFOs were spotted hovering in the sky.

Drinkers spilled out of pubs, motorists stopped to gawp and camera phones were aimed upwards as the five orbs, in a seeming formation, hovered above Stratford-Upon-Avon for half an hour.

The unidentified flying objects lit up the otherwise clear night sky above Shakespeare's birthplace in Warwickshire on Saturday.
Wouldn't it totally suck if the aliens actually landed AFTER WWN closes????


Anonymous said...

Sigh! It is always a sad moment when one notices signs of a friends mental deterioration.(grin!)

JoeMerchant24 said...


Not the WWN!

At a paper I used to be employed by, they put up a large "Inspiration Board" where employees were to pin up inspiring stories, designs, photos, etc., that they had found in other papers.

I, like the majority of the staff, thought is was ridiculous at best, plagiarism at worst.

So, being the rabble rouser I am, I went out and got a WWN for the board.

Damn thing was still up when I left in Ought-Three.

Anonymous said...

How will I keep track of Elvis sightings? What about Bigfoot abductions? Well I guess it's back to the New York Times for pure fantasy.

Hazcat said...


Hazcat said...

DOH! Nevermind. WWN = World News...