Thursday, July 03, 2008

Wee Wee Check!

I had promised myself that I'd take it easy on the post-Heller commentaries from liberal moonbats, because after all, they are moonbats. They hate us...they will hate us until the Last Day when they either smother us in the all-encompassing blanket of the Great State, or we put the last 7.62 round through the last moonbat's brain — no wait, make that center mass...they don't have brains in the sense we think of brains...a lot like zombies, if you think of it — or the Giant Asteroid of 2012 sends us all to Dino-Land.

Still, Philip Slater's piece in the increasingly whacky Huffington Post merits comment, although for the life of me I can't think what that comment shoud be, other than yeech!:
The antipathy to gun control is particularly bothersome. The Supreme Court now says every American has the right to kill people, subject only to certain situational constraints. While Bush and Cheney never cease fear-mongering about terrorist attacks, we already have the equivalent of regular terrorist attacks from deranged gun owners flipping out on their co-workers, bosses, teachers, fellow students, exes, relatives, neighbors, and random strangers.

The NRA keeps saying guns don't kill people, although not even the nuttiest of their fanatics could deny that the presence of guns multiplies deaths. The more guns you have in your house, the more you, some member of your family, or your kid's schoolmates are likely to bite the dust. Sure, people kill people. They do it with knives, pokers, rope, wire, etc. What distinguishes the gun from all these other murder weapons is that while these other implements have other uses, a gun has only a single function: to kill. And it's the most efficient way of doing it. That is, after all, why it was invented.

Rifles are used to kill animals more often than people, and hunting with a rifle is considered a sport. While there isn't all that much skill involved in killing an animal with a high-powered rifle, a case could be made that ridding the nation of its deer and rabbit surplus is serving a useful function.

But all handguns (not to mention grenades, automatic weapons, and other items often possessed by NRA nutcakes) are designed for only one purpose. To kill people. If you own a handgun it's because you want to be able to kill people at will.

Especially yourself. Over half of all gun deaths are suicides. And guns do kill people it turns out, for suicide attempts with guns are 90% successful, compared with 34% for jumping off high places, and 2% for pills. A household with a suicide is 3 to 5 times more likely to have a gun in it.

Gun control doesn't prevent anyone who feels realistically endangered from acquiring the means to kill. All you have to do is make a case and get a license. Unfortunately our nation has a large population of sexually insecure males who like to walk around pretending they're Dirty Harry, and a still larger population of acquisitive status-seekers, terrified someone will steal their future landfill.
Wow! It's kind of a grand slam of antigun cliches. The story reminds me of back when I was just starting in newspapers (about a week after newspapers were invented). Because we were cooler and had less destroyed livers than the older generation of reporters, we'd periodically do stupid stunts involving cliched phrases slipped into news we all learned about doing this without the Internet, which Al Gore had not yet invented, I have no idea. I did slip the phrase "creamy white thighs" into some story I was writing on a Florida school board...was a lot of work, too. Imagine how hard Mr. Slater, whose day job is writing books that other moonbats adore, had to work to get all these insipid cliches into one piece! "NRA nutcakes!" "Every American has the right to kill people!" "Handguns are designed for one purpose!" "You want to be able to kill people at will!" And the pinnacle, "sexually insecure males!"

Brilliant! Two big ole thumbs up, Mr. Slater! You're a shoe-in for the Moonbat Hall of Fame!


jpr9954 said...

Oh, jeez, I am 40-50 times more likely to die! (Haven't counted them all lately) I guess according to him I should just do it so that there is one less conservative-libertarian gun nut on the planet. Isn't that what the moonbats really want?

middle man said...

Mr. Slater what are you so afraid of?

Oh wait, those moonbats don't believe that someone may have an ounce of personal responsibility because they've all been walking around singing "if it feels good, do it" everyday of their lives.

Tor Hershman said...

Now here's what really, mostly, kills people


Anonymous said...

We need your registration scheme NOW.Free the truth.For the children.

NRAhab said...

We have facts and statistics.

They have dick jokes.

Anonymous said...

That is one of the stupidest things I have ever read. And we get the Oregonian at work.

catfish said...

What a fucking retard.

Please pardone my french...

Jerry The Geek said...

Reading the synopsis of the article doesn't tell the whole story.

Going to the source and reading the comments ... teaches us a lot.

A lot of folks were confused by the conjugation of "Obama" with "Heller".

More often though there were a majority of posts which said, essentially: "Hey, just because I'm a gun owner, that doesn't mean I'm a maniacal homicidal Freakazoid! My guns have never killed anyone, and I don't buy guns so I can murder anybody."

And these folks were all Liberals.

I've never been a fan of the Huffington Post, but I was amazed to discover that, just because they're politically weird, that doesn't mean they don't think.

For a minute there, I was tempted to register just so I could jump into the fray.

Fortunately, Our Democratic Cousins did a fine job of pointing out Mr. Slater's logical inconsistancies.

Anonymous said...

Feeeeeeelings, Woe o o o o feelings...

dumb so dense it bends light.

Mike W. said...

"— no wait, make that center mass...they don't have brains in the sense we think of brains...a lot like zombies, if you think of it "

But aren't headshots the only way to take out zombies?

Anonymous said...

"sexually insecure men"


I'd say if anything, all the matches I shoot has made me more confident and has really brought me out of my shell. I am not afraid to voice my opinions, and NOT feel the need to apologize for my political stances.

Still, I'd hate to use an old tired line here:

"Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than any of my guns."

jay paul said...

Nice post! Can’t wait for the next one. Keep stuff like this coming.

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