Monday, July 20, 2009

Feds Seize Dirty Underwear!

Yes! It's true! The vast machinery of the federal government has captured my dirty underwear and refuses to reveal its whereabouts!

My single piece of luggage from last weekend's filming trips is now under a Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) "hold" in Chicago as the Best and the Brightest struggle to figure out what to do with five pairs of dirty briefs, several dirty t-shirts, 2 training books by Wes Doss (Wes, I wouldn't have taken the books if I'd'a known the "G" was one your trail!), assorted toiletries, including MOISTURIZER WITH SUNSCREEN (SPF 45), my Spyderco folder, some sweaty jeans and, of course, two paperweights — an upper and a lower receiver raw forgings for a Stag AR.

Wow! Another terrorist plot thwarted! I confess...I was going to sell the 2 forgings to the drug cartels in Mexico, where a couple of guys with flat files and a battery-powered Makita drill would turn them into a WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

Anyway, about my underwear...you guys can keep it if its important to you. I can also provide autographed pictures. I sure would like my Spyderco knife back though...

MORE as it develops (or begins to fester, whichever comes first!

11 comments:

George said...

Maybe a little retaliation, eh?

Anonymous said...

I guess we should be thankful that it looks like at least 1 federal employee isn't sleeping on the job.......

True_Texan said...

Maybe your dirty shorts will be posted for sale on eBay now. I would suggest trying to make a deal with them where you send more soiled clothes to them as ransom for you Spyerco.

See if they will take the newpapers that you keep under the parrots cage as trade for the raw AR forgings.

Seriously, I dearly hope you get your knife back.

Think we can sell Chicago to Canada?

Anonymous said...

You're toast Michael. TSA is consulting with King Richard on just exactly what Chicago charges they can bring against you. It's payback for dissing bHo and MJ.

bubba said...

Typical G....somebody is high fiving somebody behind closed doors. Want to scare them? Put in a claim for $$$$'s lost from your congressman's office...they really get disoriented and concerned when they lose control of their money. Note, it's a control thing...that is of course, when the claim is attached to a Congressional Letter of Investigation. Those letters cause a huge reallocation of people resources (i.e. makes people work) and is a huge pain in the rear for government agencies....go for it.

frequent flyer said...

Do you really think our crack TSA group can tell the difference between a forging and a lower receiver. You get what you pay for with TSA. Remember the perception of security makes us feel better than the reality. I guess they felt you were going to sneak into the storage hold and get something.

Anonymous said...

Did you really expect a different outcome? If TSA is on-the-ball they are going to check out suspicions dense objects in checked baggage. When on further investigation those objects resemble undeclared firearms, it's practically a foregone conclusion that in Chicago that's going to trigger a major investigation. You're just lucky they didn't detail you in custody until they determine what will be the outcome.

That doesn't make any of the mess "right", but unless your like poking lions thru zoo bars, expect a similar result :-(

RSR

Overload in Colorado said...

I seem to remember a wave of 85% finished lowers (or some percentage), that was the limit between a piece of metal and a gun. People would buy these kit lowers and finish them at home, thereby avoiding a govt. paper trail and background check. I can't remember if one could make those home made guns full auto, legally.
I assume the BATF closed that loophole.

Aaron said...

I see a new show in the future: "The Best Defense, Staying Safe in Prison".

Anonymous said...

And on that note:

Harold Fish, the man railroaded in a Flagstaff, AZ court, gets out of prison today.
His conviction for shooting in self defense was overturned by a higher court.

Finally there is justice in this case. If you call spending years in prison for defending yourself justice.

arizonarifleman said...

Overlord,

As far as I know, one can still purchase and complete 85% (or less) receivers without a paper trail. How could there be a paper trail when you're simply buying a piece of metal, not a firearm?

As for the full-auto issue, it's been illegal for private citizens to make or own machine guns since 1986, regardless of if they make the guns themselves or not.