1) PEOPLE WHO AREN'T LIKE US DOING WEIRD SHIT.
2) SWAT TEAMS HEADED BY HYPERACTIVE ANDROGYNOUS YOUNG PEOPLE WITH GOOD HAIR WHO STALK PEOPLE IN HOME IMPROVEMENT STORES THEN FOLLOW THEM HOME AND RIP UP THEIR HOMES, YARDS, KITCHENS, BATHROOMS, CLOSETS, ATTICS, BASEMENTS, SHEDS IN THE BACK YARD, DOG HOUSES...WHATEVER...IN THREE HOURS OR LESS
Okay, there's also serial killers, but I'm going to give that a pass right now.
CONCEPT...needs to be punchy, self-explanatory, edgy, LA LA LA hot hot hot...wait for it...wait for it...
GHETTO YARD CRASHERS
An HGTV Series#Eps Season 1: 8
Length per Ep: 1/2 hour
Produced by: Michael Bane, Flying Dragon Ltd
Production Budget Sought: Negotiable
Premiere Date: Flexible
Executive Summary
...so far, nothing...but I got an opening...each week our 3 crashers, "Ziggy, a young 20-something woman who always wears a tank top stained with paint and starts every sentence with, "You got it?" or "Chris....toe....fffffer!," "Mo-Mo", who doesn't talk, sits in the back seat listening to a '70s vintage boom box playing Bruce Springsteen and mumbles to himself and "James," who looks uncannily like a young Patrick Swayze and whose two cousins — show regulars — are, respectively, a beautiful, sexy woman general contractor and a 300-pound Mafia Don with a Rottweiler the size of a Volkswagen, cruise a major urban ghetto looking for the next yard to "crash." Sometime in the first block, a shot will ring out, the rear window will shatter, Mo-Mo will scream and call for an ambulance, although unhurt, and James will turn knowingly to Ziggy and say, "Zig, I think we got us our next yard!"
I man, all I gotta do is go pick up the Emmy...I need to lay down for a while now...
UPDATE:
IT'S NOT JUST ME...REALLY:
BOERNE, Texas (AP) — A South Texas police officer has been put on administrative leave after being charged with shooting an arrow into a neighbor’s cat.
Police in Boerne say Officer Lance Deleon was not on duty when the cat named Bobby was wounded. Police Chief Jim Kohler says the cat was shot using a crossbow.
At least I haven't stalked neighborhood cats with a crossbow...of course, that's because up here at the Secret Hidden Bunker small animals let run have a different name...food.
Anyhow, this is what happens when I not only don't feel like going to the range, but even the thought os dissembling an AR requires too much brainpower. I was barely able to keep up with Here Comes Mr. Jordan this AM...
BTW, here's something you all should read, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on 20 things he wished he'd know when he was 30. Here's Number 15:
15. Do one thing every day that you look forward to doing. It’s easy to get caught up in the enormous responsibilities of daily life. The To Do List can swallow your day. So, I’d insist to my younger self to make sure he has one thing on that list that he looks forward to doing.
Read the whole thing...if you're 30, pay attention and take notes.
BTW BTW, I spent some time last night talking to my friend Robert at Survival Sheath Systems on a really neat SHTF ammo carrier system he's developed. I was really impressed, and you'll see it ASAP in DRTV...I'll put up pixs when Robert gives the okay, but it's pretty nifty.
BTW-cubed, I got five of the new Ruger-branded C-Products stainless steel 30-round AR mags with the orange followers today. They certainly look good, and I've used C-Products mags since the Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth. Next time I go to the range they'll go straight into the bag. I've been working on finalizing strategies for when Colorado's unconstitutional transfer and magazine capacity go into effect in a month. First and foremost, we are recommending that — especially when traveling through Denver. Boulder area — that all guns and accessories (with the obvious exception of carry gear) need to be UNDER LOCK AND KEY and out of sight! Here's the rationale...because we ave not be able to ascertain what are the limits and limitations of "probable cause" in the execution of these BS laws, let's say in the case of a traffic accident or a "fishing expedition" traffic stop, if the LEO sees what appears to be greater than 15-round capacity magazines or firearms that "regularly" uses those types of magazines, it may or may not trigger a search of your person and car.
Here's a few tips consistent with what my Sweetie and I are doing:
1) Guns are transported to the range/match in our regular soft cases (Midway Tactical Rifle Cases), which will be inserted into Storm Cases and locked. My Sweetie's soft and hard cases are OD Green, mine black. Handguns, ammo and magazines are in their soft range bags, inserted in one of my old Storm Cases and locked.
2) Under Colorado law, in the event of a traffic accident, opening those cases WILL REQUIRE A WARRANT!
3) NEVER, EVER, EVER IN A ZILLION YEARS give LEOs permission to search your person, car, house, dog, boat, Winnebago or anything without that warrant! There are no exceptions. BTW, If the scumbag-ess who runs the IRS Department of Dirty Tricks has the right to remain silent, so do you. Exercise that right. Here is what you need to say to law enforcement if you find yourself in one of these situations, "I'm sorry officer, but I want to exercise my right to an attorney. I really can't say anything else until my attorney gets here." I always carry a card with my criminal attorney's various numbers. Whatever it costs in the long run is worth it.
4) After 1 July, DO NOT be casual with magazines made illegal under the new laws, whether "grandfathered" or not! You DO NOT WANT TO BE THE TEST CASE FOR THESE JACKASSES. DO NOT answer "casual" law enforcement questions without your lawyer being present.
More on this week's podcast.
On the negative side, I got notice today that the FNP-45 magazines I bought a while back were never going to be in stock and, QED, would not be shipped to me. Oh well, back to the search. As I think I mentioned, I was thinking of shooting my FHP in 3-Gun "He-Man" class (the name of which, in my case, is pretty laughable). If I can't run down a couple of more mags, it's not exactly like there's a huge 1911 shortage around the Secret Hidden Bunker.
That whole .308/12 gauge pump/.45 ACP class is really attractive to me for several reasons. To be honest, I'm never going to be one of the gazelles like my good friends Kalani Laker or Diana Liendorf. It's not just that time takes a toll, which it does [Note to younger Michael..consider not spending so much time smashing your fists against wooden planks....there will be consequences down the line...LOL!], but so much is a function of time. I've spent the last couple of days pitching a new series, my fifth, which if it gets green-lighted will require extensive hands-on coordination...in addition to SG, TBD, GUN STORIES and RAPID FIRE. I suspect I will not be rolling in training time this summer.
Secondly, I have had great fun with SASS Wild Bunch shooting, which requires a major caliber lever action rifle, a 1911 in .45 ACP and a pump-action 12 gauge...I use a Model 12. There's a certain synchronicity there. In fact, every so often I have fantasies about leaving the 9mm-centric world of mine and gong back to the Truth Faith of 1911 single actions...
Finally, my friend Alan Samuel really likes shooting the big guns, and he's practically an evangelist for it. He's sworn to get me through the Whittington match the end of June.
Meanwhile, I'm watching a beautiful sunset, sipping diet ginger ale and waiting for this round of funky cold medina to kick in. Have a WONDERFUL holiday weekend...remember the men and women who serve, especially those who have given their last full measure of devotion.
14 comments:
I see you get your cold medicine from Mexico too. In less cultured terms we call that "purple drank." Enjoy your amazing creativity before you fall over on your face. :) I'll be here with my bourbon, Countreau and Italian lemon soda :)
What?
Maybe you should revisit this after the meds wear off!
I prescribe Burbon. Two finger's worth. THOSE two fingers. (Index finger of left fist extended, set on top of right fist with pinkie finger extended.) In the bottom of a medium sized wash-tub. Repeat as nesisary, no more than every four hours. You're welcome.
Cool show idea. I want to audition for the part of James. I can start right making the mini van getto ready... Oh dang, my wife says she is going start rationing the cold meds. I need to hide my stash...
I like it! It's a heck of a lot better than most of the nonsense that's on TV.
All I know is that I'd watch it! Feel better soon.
Be careful moving to .308 for 3 gun. It is addicting! I made the move four years ago and now HATE going to a match/range where they don't allow or don't have a heavy metal division. Definitely no argument about a hit or miss on steel during a stage.
E. J. Redding
MB:
I heard the podcast mention of a possible fishing show. My father ran across an old .25-35 Winchester in a pawn shop. He asked around and the old timers said this was known in South Georgia as a "fish gun". They claim the ballistics worked well for shooting fish just underneath the surface of the water. I don't know the current legalities, but maybe fish guns could be your cross over hook. . . (no pun intended of course)
Regards,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.25-35_Winchester
Since almost all of my gunz are "illegal" under the peoples republik made up laws, I'll have to go somewhere other than Colorado until the unconstitutional edicts are thrown out. Good luck.
When I was a kid on the farm here in Michigan, I would often see my Grandpa and other farmers walking along the spring-thaw-flooded ditches carrying their pitch forks and a grain sack. They would often meet each other in the woods and meadows and it seemed like they were having a good time socializing too. I asked my uncle "What's grandpa doing?" He said "Fishing". I said "What?"
He went on to explain that the northern pike were swimming up the creeks from the big lakes to spawn and when they got up this far into the spring-flooded ditches, "Grandpa would use the pitchfork to flip them up on the bank, put them into the sack and bring them home for Grandma to cook." (I loved her pike "soup".)
He then said "But that's doing it the the hard way". So naturally, I asked "What do you mean?" He proceeded to get his old Mossberg .22 out and said "This is what I use". In my bewilderment, my natural question was asked: "Do you shoot them?" He said "No, you just shoot NEAR them". He them went on to explain that you only need to shoot next to them and the hydraulic shock that the bullet makes when it hits the water "knocks them cold". "Then you only need to "pull them out and bring them home".
Now I'm not saying that I ever tried that technique out and I wouldn't want to give you the wrong idea. And since my Grandpa and Uncle are "enjoying their reward", it would be hard to "confirm" the story. And even though I have that old Mossberg now, or well I actually handed it down to my own son, I'm just saying.....
Anyhow, "Fishing with Guns and Dogs" may just be a great theme for a show.
Life Member
P. S.: .22s are a damn-sight cheaper than hard-to-find ,25-35s. (grin)
I about fell out, when during the Podcast, you broke out with Funky Cold Medina! Your sense of humor, really Rocks Michael. Again, it was a pleasure meeting you at the Michael buys the beer party this year, in Houston!
Rock on!
Chad Hendrix
Biloxi, MS
Anonymous from Michigan:
I would never claim that a .25-35 is practical, just cool.
(also grinning)
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