1) "DeFriend" al-Assad on FaceBook! Sure, it would take a lot of courage on the part of President Obama, but with the help of Valerie Jarrett and his new puppy, I'm sure he can rise to the occasion.
2) Carefully crate John McCain, Lindsey Graham and John Boehner and UPS them to Damascus, making sure there is no return address...they want Syria, let them have it.
3) Have John Kerry publicly refuse to take "The Rose of the Desert" Asma (cough cough!) al-Assad windsurfing! Ouch! That burns!
Hey, Anna Wintour edited it, Vogue published it, and I for one believe it! Here's part of the Vague...oops...Vogue article we're dis'sing...the whole article has been scrubbed from the Internet:
Syria is known as the safest country in the Middle East, possibly because, as the State Department's Web site says, "the Syrian government conducts intense physical and electronic surveillance of both Syrian citizens and foreign visitors." It's a secular country where women earn as much as men and the Muslim veil is forbidden in universities, a place without bombings, unrest, or kidnappings...Yes, weapons of mass destruction —and the shadow of genocide — are the most serious business there is. But the hard truth is that we've spent the last 25 years expending American capital and America lives trying to save the Islamic Middle East from itself, and they hate us for it. It is time to stay home. There is nothing — NOTHING! — in Syria worth the cost of a single Tomahawk missile, much less the blood of a single American.