Bloody Mary Mornings

There are mornings when I'm pretty sure I'm just a character in a Philip K. Dick novel, probably a sequel to The Man in the High Castle or maybe a Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? sequel set in Kansas instead of a Bladerunner-esque Los Angeles.

Consider this morning's news of note through the surreal filter of Drudge:

• 60-year-old man accused of biting boy's genitals...
• Hundreds of body parts recalled...
• JonBenet whacko "marches to beat of different drummer..."
• BBC pulls spoof show of cows crashing into the World Trade Center...

Add to that my hysterically funny phone call yesterday from Samuel L. Jackson, who threatened to kill me if I didn't go see Snakes on a Plane, and the fact that I'm having another bout of shingles, so everything I see through my right eye looks like I'm staring at the skewed world through a cotton ball.

As long as we're talking surreal here, I thought I might mention a gun thing, since I haven't talked gunny in a while.

While every firearm manufacturer on earth is betting their farms on 1911 platform guns, the maker of the best out-of-the-box 1911s in America is thundering hell-bent into the past with the roll-out of [pause for effect] a single-action revolver.

STI International, whose Legacy and Trojan 1911s are arguably the cream of the crop for production guns and whose modular-framed 1911 hi-caps absolutely dominate the competition markets, is finally on the verge of birthing their latest Colt clone, the "Texican" single-action revolver.

The Texican will feature a frame machined from barstock, wire EDM internal parts and a color case-hardened frame and high polish blue remainder. Of course the gun will be in .45 Colt...it's from Texas, for heaven's sake!

It's an open secret than when Colt was on the market, STI Commander-in-Chief Dave Skinner was sitting at the table with his checkbook buring a hole in his pocket. Unfortunately, the Colt-inistas had a wildly overblown idea of what that little pony was worth, and Skinner went back to Texas empty-handed.

HMMMMMMMM...so now the best 1911 maker in the country is also making a SAA and, coming up, an updated, upgraded version of the Colt Defender mini-.45 ACP...hey Dave, could you please put my name first in line whne you decide to make a Colt Python for the 21st Century!

Excuse me, I've got to go study the many different forms for addressing another person and tend to my collection of string...