The End

It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it And I feel fine

—REM

Hurricanes! Earthquakes! Tsunamis! Plagues! Wars!

Yes folks, as they say on Iron Chef, it's O-VAH! Thta's right...it's time for the Big A, End Times, the Apocalypse, the Great Big "-30-" on Earth's Short Story. And this time, there's plenty of evidence on the internet. This from MSNBC.com:

So close is the correlation between recent events and the biblical prophecy of the Second Coming, by the reckoning of RaptureReady.com, its "Rapture Index" has been hovering around 160 — the highest levels since just after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. According to the Web site, "the higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the ... rapture." When the number is above 145, it advises: "Fasten your seatbelts!"

Well, my seatbelts are fastened, but I hoping I can get at least one more snowboarding season before we're beset by big rocks falling from the skies and savage satanic Rottweillers heralding the coming of the Anti-Christ, or Hillary Clinton, whichever comes first.

As you regular readers know, for the last year or so I've been pointing out some of the Signs of the Apocalypse, most of which have to do with Demi Moore [my favorite DM photo is above] and those mysterious lottery numbers on "Lost" — 4 8 15 16 23 42, and, no, those numbers did not win the big PowerBall Jackbot this weekend!

I've started compiling a reading list for people with the End Time Jitters. Lately, out of sheer perversity, I''ve been grinding through Robert Jordan's epic 11-book Wheel of Times series, which is, at its core, an Apocalyptic story. It's riveting, but not nearly grim enough. Instead, try these:

• The granddaddy of them all, Steven King's The Stand. Brilliantly written and ultimately both uplifting and profoundly depressing. Perfect for Christmas reading!

• Two of my favorites from my Impetuous Youth fascination with the Grandmaster, Robert Heinlein, the wildly politically incorrrect Farnham's Freehold and the quirky If This Goes On, which speculates about an America ruled by a fundamentalist religious cult.

• My current favorite giant earthquake book, The Rift, from Walter Jon Williams. I grew up along the New Madris Fault in Memphis; it's about time soneone shook up Graceland.

• The ever-popular Lucifer's Hammer, the ultimate Big Rock from the Sky book from larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Filled with such trivia as the fact that at one time in the past, pepper was worth more than gold and jewels.

Check out more at Lenny Bruce's blogsite, "Endies" and Amazon's ListMania,

Oh yeah, I blotted out Roger Zelazny's Damnation Alley, made into what may be one of the worst movies ever coughed up in Hollywood. although Jan Michael Vincent rules!