Well, I'm still reeling from Britney Spears' going all Sinead O'Connell on us and shaving her head. I'm thinking this is a sad attempt to trump the publicity coup pulled off by Anna Nichole Smith last week by her dying. I can't help but think ANS' net worth is going to soar now that she's no longer around to harpoon her publicity machines' best efforts. I mean, look at Kurt Cobain...his publicity and average earnings have steadily increased since he began his dirt nap. And that's to say nothing of Elvis, who really hammered out the secrets of post-death popularity! Steve McQueen, Humphry Bogart, even Frank Sinatra are working harder than ever, and thanks to enhanced video technology, they'll be getting even better talking roles.
And if you really think about it, don't we prefer our celebrities dead? You're never going to see Kurt Cobain or Humphry Bogart jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. Elvis is never going to the stopped by local cops and blurt out anti-Semitic remarks or rage rage in a drunken stupor or travel to a disaster area to cruise around in a rowboat with a shotgun to provide cheesey photo ops...whoops, how can you tell if Sean Penn is alive or dead?
There are issues I can already see will have to be addressed buy the newly Democratic government, to wit, can dead celebrities marry? Can you just see the amazing publicity potential of an Elvis/ANS nuptials at the Bellagio in Vegas, with Frank as the wedding singer? Whoa! Don't forget, I get 10% on that one!
Have I been offensive enough for Saturday morning?
How about some gun stuff, then. This from the Telegraph Across-the-Pond:
For James Andre Smartt-Ford, 16, Michael Dosunmu, 15, and Billy Cox, 15, the hand-wringing by police and politicians over the escalation of gun crime comes a little late: all three have been shot dead in south London over the past 10 days.What a shock...guns were outlawed and now only outlaws have guns! Now, where have I heard that before? BTW, since the post-Dunblane laws have proven to be failures, what does the Telegraph suggest? For a start, tougher mandatory sentences...apparently 5 years just doesn't do it! And get rid of those pesky protections against unreasonable search and seizure (much less than we have here). Police should be able to, you know, just stop and search people who look like...well, whatever criminal type people look like! Wow! I'll bet Nancy Pelosi is taking notes!
Public revulsion over such criminality is, shamingly, blunted by the fact that they appear to be victims of ethnic gang crime. Society at large sees it as "their" problem, not its own. Such a view is criminally complacent.
We have, post-Dunblane, what are said to be the toughest gun control laws in the world. They have actually proved strikingly ineffectual.
Gun crime has doubled since they were introduced. Young hoodlums are able to acquire handguns - either replica weapons that have been converted, or imports from eastern Europe - with ease. With no dedicated frontier police, our borders remain hopelessly porous. The only people currently incommoded by the firearms laws are legitimate holders of shotgun licences, who are subjected to the most onerous police checks.