Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Favorite Headline So Far This Week...


Steve Jobs Stopped in Japanese Airport With Ninja Throwing Stars


Ninya! Steve Jobs can cure ham with his mind! Steve Jobs' iPhone 4 can get reception in hell! Stop me before I get carried away...

So here's the story:
From the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction department: Steve Jobs was prevented from boarding his private jet, due to his collection of ninja throwing stars.
According to a report in Bloomberg news, security officials in Kansai International Airport near Osaka detected the weapons inside the Apple CEO's carry-on luggage, and stopped him from taking them aboard his jet. Apparently the security agents felt the stars, or shuriken, a traditional Japanese weapon used by ninjas, were a security threat.
Citing an article in Japanese magazine SPA!, Bloomberg said that Jobs was incensed. He reportedly argued that the throwing stars weren't a security risk -- after all, he wouldn't try to hijack his own plane, would he? Jobs then told officials he would never visit Japan again. Apple declined to comment.
So what is the point of being a gazillionaire if you can't bring your secret ninja weapons on your private jet? And secondly, why would he have have such a lame weapon? He's Steven-Fricking-Jobs! He could have something cool, like designer miniguns or a Camel Gatling:


Or this steampunk-styled .50 BMG:





Here are the details on the .50 from The Firearm Blog.

I'd put Jobs on SHOOTING GALLERY if he bought this baby. All it needs is a big brass water-cooled sheath over the barrel, and even this week's DOWN RANGE Radio chanteuse, Emilie Autumn, would be impressed. Here's the lovely Ms. Autumn with her wicked violin:


I love her recordings...think chamber music for psychotics. I also like her pet rats,  Sir Edward and Basil. More women violinists should have pet rats, I think. It sends a good message.

BTW, I read an excellent article on this AM on gun rights on Reason.com this AM:
Gottlieb attributes the rapid turnaround in part to the brazen overconfidence of gun controllers. If Washington, D.C., had not challenged the March 2007 appeals court decision overturning its highly restrictive gun ban, the Supreme Court would not have had the opportunity to declare in Heller that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to arms. If Chicago had not insisted on maintaining its gun ban after the Heller decision, there would have been no McDonald, and the question of whether the Second Amendment binds states and cities would have remained unsettled. “We needed a little luck, and the other side gave us that luck,” says Gottlieb. “Our opponents are our biggest supporters.”
Well, stupid is as stupid does.

16 comments:

JoeMerchant24 said...

from today's "Help a Reporter" Twitter feed:

helpareporter: URGHARO: moyemail@cox.net needs to speak to a ninja expert asap.

bluesun said...

You have the most awesomely random tastes in music and design.

nj_larry said...

Damm him Steve Jobs !!! He off-shored the development of the iShurikens...

DamDoc said...

hell, all he needed was a good hand gun app!

George said...

Well so much for the OS X upgrade in Japanese now....

Dave S. said...

Is there a requirement that all female violinists be hot?

There's a video out there of two violin hotties playing System of a Down's "Toxicity." Smokin'!

CJS3 said...

Why would Jobs have to go through a security check point (other than stamping his passport) to get on his own plane? Do you think his Japanese employees will get bonuses this millienia? Not checking export status first is something Donald Trump would fire you for without pause.

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