(CNSNews.com) - If Chicago's street thugs are going to attack each other, they should take their fight away from innocent children, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel told the CBS Evening News on Monday.
"We've got two gangbangers, one standing next to a kid. Get away from that kid. Take your stuff away to the alley. Don't touch the children of the city of Chicago. Don't get near them," Emanuel -- President Obama's former chief of staff -- told anchor Scott Pelley...
Please, please, please Mr. Gangbanger, don't shoot up our neighborhoods! I mean, we're good union-loving progressive Democrats who will give you anything -- Anything! Money, drugs, non-profits, community organizers, our daughters and sons...name it! -- if you'll just leave us alone! Can't we work out a deal where we pay you a gratuity, let's call it "tribute," every month, maybe kick in a few virgins if we can round them up? We are so afraid...and we are so helpless...
Hey, I have an idea! Let's go to the America firearms industry and ask them to once again make a single shot FP-45.45 "Liberator" pistol in mass quantities (updated, polymer frame, light rail, loaded chamber indicator, available in colors). Then we ask the great Chris Muir to do a "Day By Day" graphic novel explaining how to use the new little gun. Finally, we ask our bravest pilots to risk 'banger flak, environmental lawsuits, and a flood of money from crooked politicians to fly sorties over the Chicago suburbs dropping packages containing the New Liberator, the graphic novel and a copy of the U. S. Constitution!
Problem solved!
Please
8 comments:
If gun control worked, Chicago would be the Utopia all gun banners dream of. Instead, it is a war zone, with the criminals in control. Why anybody would wish this on their own people is beyond belief.
The FP-45 has been re-introduced as an exact copy (except the barrel has been rifled) recently. Now all we need are the daring pilots.
Make it a 45 Colt with elongated chamber. Kind of a non-revolving Taurus Judge. :)
Can we have them in blister paks? Cause that would be cool. We could sell them in WalMart next to the candies and the scandal rags.
$20 each, 3 for $50. Mix and match colors.
maybe 80% receivers and parts kits in blister packs? or a set of molds that you can pour resin into to make your receiver?
That way, you wouldn't really be distributing firearms - just the completely legal, non-registered means to create one.
In the land of the unarmed, the man with a single-shot is king.
Forget the pilots! If we want to get them into the hands of "HONEST" Chicago-ans, then just send one to each tax-paying citizen! Send in your check; get a gun AND a "CPL"!
Life Member
at $600 a unit for the current FP-45 clone, I would suggent picking a different "Liberator" product.
I was laughing when I read a quote from this on http://smallestminority.blogspot.com/. But in all seriousness, this would be a great private-market replacement for our welfare state's program of handing out free cellphones. Post when you're accepting donations.
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