From Sky News in the UK:
Beaver Bites Man To Death In Belarus Attack
The beaver pounced as a man went to take its photograph after spotting the animal on the side of a road during a fishing trip.
A fisherman has been bitten to death by a beaver after trying to take its photograph. The man was on a fishing trip at Lake Shestakov in Belarus with two friends when they spotted the animal on the side of the road.
His friends attempted to stem the flow of blood from the wound but the animal’s bite had severed a main artery and the man, who came from Brest, bled to death...
Earlier this week a video was posted on YouTube showing a man in the Tver region, northwest of Moscow, running away from a beaver who charged at him as he was filming in the area.
Last year in the US two girls were mauled by a beaver in a lake in Virginia as they swam. They suffered serious bite and scratch injuries. A man was also attacked in New York and an elderly woman in Washington. In 2003 in Belarus a farm manager and farmhand were bitten by a rabid beaver as they tried to chase it from a barn. They survived the attack.
Beavers are the second largest rodents in the world.People, this is real and it's happening right now! Beavers around the world are turning on humans, savaging them in ways a sane person can hardly imagine! Terrifying, and I live in...Beaver Country!
Don't let those talking beavers in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe fool you...beavers are some nasty actors.
Could this be the dreaded Beaverpocalypse spoken of by the Mayans, who predicted that at exactly 5:34 PM Mayan Standard Time on April 11, 2013 (or more correctly, in the words of the ancient calendar, "Later...like much later...chill dude") the Whipoosh would rise from the Sacred Lake and, in general, kick some human ass? Paging Aslan!
I'm not taking any chances...I'm loading 60-round SureFire AR magazines as we speak, and everybody knows they're TWICE scary as 30-rounders (Ooooooooh...scary scary...60-rounders...call Governor Hickenstoopid!).
I've been doing some internet research...as you can see in this picture from an ancient manuscript...
...humanity has been living on borrowed time. I think now we can say with some authority what killed the dinosaurs!
Wait wait...I think I can get this right...
There once was a man from Brest
With a beaver biting his chest
Not in the thigh
He said with a sigh
Or I'll be as dead as the rest!
(Beaver cartoon from Open Clip Art Library/Lemmling)