I Wish I'd Thought of That!

There's been a winner in the annual "It was a dark and stormy night" San Jose State University's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for bad writing, and, no, it wasn't me:

“Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.”

"Lick the shovel clean?" Inspired, I say...inspired! Somebody call Days of Our Lives and tell them their new scriptwriter is waiting...