Okay, I wasn't really cavity searched at the airports yesterday! But I was selected for "enhanced" hands-on searches at both Ontario and John Wayne airports in California. At Ontario, it was because I was shuffled from United to Alaska Air trying to get home to Denver; at John Wayne it was because I was shipped from Ontario to J.W. Terrorists always change airlines and airports, doncha know!
The enhanced searches are uncannily like visits to Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch... I'm going to touch you below the belt now...I'm going to touch your skin...can I touch you around the zipper area?...do you watch a lot of gladiator movies...was it good for you, too?
The least TSA could do is give you a $2 million settlement...
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So, if the TSA goons hear you describing the "enhanced" search as "playing Michael Jackson" do they make you miss your flight? Yeah, that's what I thought.
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