Thursday, November 16, 2006

No More Lonely Saturday Nights...

Well you got your dead cat and you got your dead dog
On a moonlight night you got your dead toad frog
You got your dead rabbit and your dead raccoon
Aw, the blood and the guts are gonna make you swoon

— Loudon Wainwright III
"Dead Skunk"

And speaking of swooning, start your morning with this ditty from the Duluth News Tribune, via Drudge:
Lawyer argues sex with dead deer not crime

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.
Hmmmmm...I've thought a lot of things about dead deer over the years, but never once teh idle thought, "Man, that chunk of meat is hot!" I suppose this whole issue wasn't covered under the numerous anti-gay marriage issues passed last week, so...note to the Republican National Committee..."anti-carcass sex/marriage" is an issue we can all rally behind! This could be bigger than Terry Schiavo!

PS:

This just in from Fox News:
Rogue Sea Lion Bites at Least 14 People in San Francisco

SAN FRANCISCO — The city closed its Aquatic Park Lagoon to swimmers on Wednesday after a California sea lion bit at least 14 people and chased 10 others out of the water this week.
[...]
Experts say the rogue sea lion could be protecting his harem of mates or might have brain damage from toxic algae.
FORGET the "toxic algae" theory! I think somebody tried to jump him and whisper sweet nothings into his little sea lion ears and he got pissed off! I TOLD you all this would happen if the Dems got elected!

7 comments:

Tim Perkins said...

Now that is one sick dude.

Anonymous said...

But was it a female deer?

Anonymous said...

Did the deer/carcass, lawyer or perp have an earing?

Jim Shepherd said...

You left off the last paragraph of the story:
"The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000. If convicted, Hathaway could serve a prison term of up to two years because of a previous conviction. In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal."

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of when I was a prosecutor - believe it or not, it's not a crime in NM. We had to prosecute one guy for criminal damage to property in a crime that involved race horses . . .

cheers, erich martell

GunGeek said...

The "tradition" that gets passed down to all the new hunters in Michigan is that the first time you shoot a doe, you have to do the bidness with it.

I'd like to think that everyone is smart enough to know that this is just a variation on the snipe hunt theme, but there are probably some that either don't get the joke or that wouldn't mind anyway and so they go ahead and boink Bambi's mom.

Anonymous said...

mr. bane,
hope you are well. can not wait to see the knob show.
miss you guys. see you soon. i shoot my first show on the 2nd and 3rd of dec. might call you for some script ideas. shoot straight.
your old sound guy,
mark jury, aka the urban angler