Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday Sighs

No upgrades for me on the cross-country flight today...sigh...Nurse Ratchet lecturing us on the fairness of baggage policies...sigh...butt hurts...bitch bitch bitch...

But seriously, I noted that all the magazines at the rack this month were about "survival." I was sort of thinking about the Cosmo survival issue:

1) Pick the right guy! like, NOT that whining ninny on "E" who does the fashion news!
2) Your backpack - think fashion!!! - must hold all your favorite Manolos!
3) Remember, your favorite shade of lipstick may not be available after the Apocalypse, so stock up!
NEXT MONTH - 10 Can't Miss Tips For Steaming Up the Bunker!!!

More coffee, please! Actually, I got to thinking about my 3 top "survival" tips:

1) Don't be stupid.
2) Keep smiling.
3) When in doubt, take the headshot.

I gotta go fly!

PS: Indiana Jackson and I both had clean matches last weekend!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Rule #2: Doubletap
-Zombieland

Kansas Scout said...

I'm laughing...! Cosmo survival tips..LOL! And you know there are millions of women,,,including mine,,, who think that way LOL. Good post

Wallaby Jack said...

Shot clean ?

.... you appear to NOT be trying hard enough ... <:-)>

Eric said...

Just think of fellow Colorado resident Eric Cartman: "Ow my *ss, seriously!"

nj_larry said...

With all your traveling you might want to get your sweety a gift for being so understanding...check this out...

http://www.yvonneleeschultz.com/work/porcelain-pistol/

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