Why would the United States spend so much money on something that is driving Americans to hang, strangle and suffocate themselves?
Look at this chart:
Since 1999 there has been a 99.79% correlation between U.S. spending on science, space and technology with suicides by hanging, strangulation and suffocation!
Almost 100% correlation!
This is nightmarish! How many more people must die horribly before we end this needless obsession with science and technology?
You may ask yourself what you can do as a single individual, a tiny nit on the back of the mangy dog that is America, to stop this nightmare, but even the smallest, most inconsequential, person can help!!!
We're asking you today, right this minute, to join MOMS DEMAND ACTION FOR SENSIBLE SCIENCE SPENDING IN AMERICA! We'll be partnering with other like-minded groups funded by the same billionaire (as soon as we find our billionaire) such as AMERICANS FOR RESPONSIBLE SCIENCE SOLUTIONS TO SUICIDE and EVERYTOWN FOR SCIENCE SAFETY to create an unstoppable wave of mothers, fathers, household appliances, cats, beavers and yes, even SUVs to end the scourge of hanging, strangulation and suffocation suicides caused by irresponsible spending on spaceships, electronic thingies and stuff the military might use.
We have reached out to no less than SHANNON "Kneepads" WATTS and MARK "Starman" KELLY to head our new organization!
Please send you $100 and up contribution today! Please make your checks out to "CASH, ℅ Michael Bane," General Delivery, The Secret Hidden Bunker, Colorado.
Remember, if we save just one life, it's worth it!
And if you've gotten this far, take a minute to also remember that correlation does not equal causation, no matter what the antigun idiots say!
But, hey, send the money anyway!!!! LOL!