I love Friday, if for no other reason that, news-wise, Friday is sort of the trap at the bottom of the drain where all the sludge, rust and old hairballs collect. Here are the stories we're following at Planet Nederland World News Command:
• A priest resigns after videos show him checking into a swanky motel with a married woman. Well, am I the only one who sees this as an incredible positive for the Catholic Church? After all, Ms. Adultress is down with that "age of consent" thing, and a girl to boot!
• Another hottie high school teacher heads to the slammer for bopping a 13-year-old boy. In today's twist, she can't profit from the affair or give interviews, causing a dozen HBO executives to race to their cardiologists with chest pains.
• The Shuttle is still in one piece several days after landing! Confounding critics' predictions the Shuttle would either be parted out and sold on e-Bay or crushed into a 12 X 12-foot cube at a Mob junkyard in Jersey and shown as "conceptual art" at a swank gallery in Soho.
• No new shark attacks this week! Authorities in coastal communities in Florida and North Carolina have reportedly launched an aggressive "chumming" campaign, including passing out slabs of bacon and double-stick tape to young swimmers.
Remember, you read it here first!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment