The Michael Bane Blog: TSA Follows

Thursday, May 21, 2009

TSA Follows

So "sniffers" at airports are now scrapped because they didn't actually sniff as well as a beagle with a head cold...so today I had to go through one of the microscanners...

When I came out, the TSA personnel informed me that thanks to the scanner, I'd be a lot safer. Then they asked for permission to pat me down. They found a piece of paper in my pocket, which they triumphantly extracted.

So, I said sweetly, if the scanner is so great why'd you have to pat me down? The piece of paper, he said. So how am I safer if the scanner can't tell the difference between a piece of paper and a rocket launcher while giving Mr. Weasel his 15 minutes of fame, I asked?

Big scowl...we take our security seriously here, he says.

Cool, I say...when can I expect to see the pics on the Internet?

Scowl!

-- Post From The Road

20 comments:

Marshalette Halloway said...: heh heh heh... sorry I missed it.. but on second thought .. better that I did. Yours and my personality type together usually don't add up to calm and serene.. Marshal would have probably had to bail us out of TSA Timeout!.
LOL

Keep at 'em Michael.. Keep at 'em..
*grinning*; 10:24 AM
Kristopher said...: "We take our security theatre seriously ..."; 11:15 AM
Hazcat said...: If the sniffers worked you'd never get on a plane again, MB.

With the amount of time you spend around gunpowder the damn thing would have a fit if it really worked! :); 11:27 AM
Rastus said...: So they like to rifle the pockets for paper. Sounds like an opportunity to put a note in...maybe a TSA "dis" with a monkey making faces or something...

Sorry, just feeling a bit irreverent and impertinent today. I got put on rant mode yesterday...time to back it down a notch.; 11:30 AM
Anonymous said...: Sorry but nothing man made works as well and reproducibly as a dog for drugs or explosives.

Michael don't tease the folks from TSA. I heard they don't change gloves after cavity searches. It's falls under cost cutting.

Ratcatcher55; 11:39 AM
Anonymous said...: For fun and entertainment, you should make some customer underwear out of this stuff: http://www3.towerhobbies.com/cgi-bin/wti0001p?&I=LXMUW5&P=FR; 11:55 AM
Anonymous said...: Kind of why I mostly travel by car. The very sight of the TSA bureaucrats raise my blood pressure and anger level. I'd rather deal with terrorists than have to deal with those morons.; 1:15 PM
Anonymous said...: The next time I fly I'll print out a copy of the Constitution on a sheet of paper, front and back, and still that in my pocket.

Let's see what fun I can have with that.; 1:59 PM
Tim Covington said...: I understand why you have to fly, but my wife and I refuse to fly. You combine the facts that TSA measures still wouldn't stop a determined terrorist from getting on a plane with weaponry (thank you to my high school teachers who were Green Berets in Vietnam for teaching me improvised weapons), and the complete ineptitude of the majority of TSA screeners (they used to be the lowest paid security guards in the industry for a reason) and it's just not worth flying to anywhere you can drive to.; 3:08 PM
Wayne Conrad said...: The pointy question is, "What danger to the plane is a piece of paper, that makes it the government's business?"; 3:57 PM
devietro said...: I love it, sounds cool. Now the question is how long does it take the guy at the sniffer to radio back to the dude in baggage claim to make sure that your Para Carry 9 gets "LOST"

(That still is your carry gun right?); 4:07 PM
Matthew Carberry said...: Was it just that they couldn't identify the piece of paper or are they requiring empty pockets now?; 7:03 PM
alfsauve said...: Pre-9/11, I decided to test those 'explosive' sniffers. I took Bullseye powder and rubbed as much as I could all over the cover of my IBM Thinkpad. I mean, I could even smell it several hours later. The security guard (pre TSA) rubbed her "swab" over the laptop and put it in the detector. GREEN LIGHT!; 7:26 PM
alfsauve said...: I also, after having my carry-on bags completely hand search, was told by a security guard how much safer flying was now. I replied, "Oh, yeah. "I" feel so much safer now that you've searched "my" possessions."; 7:28 PM
Haji said...: "we take our security seriously here, he says."
He either lied like a rug, or is too brainwashed to understand how silly that comment is. I understand they have a tough, thankless job, but the lack of common sense displayed every time I fly blows my mind.; 10:04 PM
Gun Shy Tourist said...: BTW, I am of the understanding that their software can also allow them to sniff for more than just nitrate compounds. If this is correct, then they can also sniff for cocaine and other illegal drugs. Could that be construed as illegal search and seizure? It is just more of the same in my opinion.; 6:54 AM
Gun Shy Tourist said...: The TSA here in Orlando has it's own set of problems:

http://aroundotown.blogspot.com/2009/04/whos-going-through-your-luggage-and.html; 7:02 AM
EJ said...: Perhaps the threat was the notes Michael had written on the paper.

These machines are so good that they can even read the writing on hidden documents....must have been some black rifle notes written there...; 7:25 AM
Gun Shy Tourist said...: We have had other problems at our airport as well this week:

http://aroundotown.blogspot.com/2009/05/man-assaults-flight-crew-at-oia.html; 7:28 AM
Clark Kent said...: Microdots with bin Laden's instructions in the letters? Yeah, that's the ticket!; 8:32 AM