Monday, June 06, 2011

Fear Grips America!

Terrifying, n'est-ce pas?
(courtesy Cryptomundo.com, whose correspondent was savaged mauled immediately after snapping this picture in a Philadelphia park Sunday...maybe)


PHILADELPHIA – Pennsylvania game wardens remained stumped Sunday about a spate of "truly bizarre" rabid beaver attacks in and around Philadelphia.

This story definitely has me worried...I mean, the Secret Hidden Bunker is virtually surrounded by beavers. They're everywhere! This could be the tiny push that shoves it all over the edge, TEOTWAWKI triggered by big bad beastly beavers driven by a virus that is either lab-engineered or dropped directly from the Mothership.

And more importantly, what caliber works for rabid rapid beavers (rapid rabid beavers?). Initially, I uncased the 450/400 3-inch Nitro Express #1 Ruger (okay...the .50 BMG was the first thought, but Alf the Wonder Beagle rolled her big brown beagle eyes at that suggestion), but then I suddenly realized that I could be facing more than one beaver, maybe more than 2 beavers, maybe even a herd (Flock? Clutch? Gaggle? Colony? Shrewdness? Swarm? Parliament? Weiner?) of beavers. Firepower, me thinks! So I've got the Thompson by the front door, along with some improvised Molotov cocktails in case the furry bastards bring a trebuchet -- hey, they can cut down trees, right?

Be ready for the Beaver Apocalypse!

Otherwise, hell, it's Monday and the recording studio is waiting for me, little green lights blinking. I wasn't particularly happy with my performance at the Rocky Mountain Regional Raid cowboy action match...I put together 6 good stages.. Unfortunately, there were 10 stages. I'd say 3 of my less-then-stellar were me pushing too hard, my head making bets that my hands couldn't cover. This is, sadly, probably a necessary step on the way to getting faster...how do you know the limits of your current skill level if you don't exceed them? And yes, in an ideal world you would explore those limits in your practice; unfortunately, we often perform different under the higher stress of competition than the lesser stress of practice, so sometimes you've got to push it hard when the timer goes off.



Jay G. from the MArooned blog has an excellent report on the Ruger LC9 up on The Firearm Blog. He likes it...so do I. It's a big pocket pistol, but a pocket pistol nonetheless if you so choose. I love pocket pistols (largely because of my shorts and t-shirt summer ensemble, but we're definitely going to rattle your cage about pocket pistols in next season's THE BEST DEFENSE...and not in a good way! Always challenge assumptions is a good way to put together a television show.

I hope! LOL!


BTW BTW, check me out on the NRA Blog this morning! (photo courtesy NRA Blog/Lars Dalseide)

12 comments:

Tim Covington said...

This makes me think of a particuler Jeff Foxworthy bit: "The beaver bit his nipple off. O-F-F, off!"

nj_larry said...

In "Ball Four" the ex-pitcher Jim Bouton wrote about "shooting beaver" in the various ballparks of America. Hilarious.

DonWorsham said...

"...we're definitely going to rattle your cage about pocket pistols in next season's THE BEST DEFENSE.."

About time Mr. Bane. (the Glock 26 makes a great pocket pistol if you have the right size pocket).

seeker_two said...

I love the pic of you and Joe....it just screams "You want me and Janich to do WHAT?...."

Rastus said...

Could it be New York Representative Weiner made the beavers a promise he could not keep; thereby enraging the beavers to civil disobedience?

I'm just sayin'.....

Weiner will get a pass, like Wrangel, like Kennedy in Chappaquiddick, like Frank running male prostitution ring, like Gerry Studds having sex with male page, etc...no accountablility for libs.

Anonymous said...

As Leslie Nielsen would say "Nice Beaver"...

Jerry The Geek said...

You should live in Corvallis, Oregon ... home of "Beaver, USA!"

(Oregon State University)

BTW, Oregon IS "The Beaver State".

This is not a good place in which to grow old!

Anonymous said...

If you want the morning laugh, ya gotta read this story I just saw on Drudge. I never knew that the Dept. of Education had SWAT teams. I never knew they hunted down folks who don't pay their loans. I never knew Americans could actually be found to do this kind of work.

http://www.news10.net/news/article/141072/2/Dept-of-Education-breaks-down-Stockton-mans-door

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