Sunday, June 07, 2015

Caliber Wars Rear Their Ugly, Reptilian Heads!

Friday I noted that the new Standard DP-12 double-barreled pump 12-guage would be the medicine gun for velociraptors. Misfires and Light Strike's Kevin Creighton dropped me note that Chris Pratt, the star of the upcoming Jurassic World (which will predate Jurassic Backyard by at least 2 films), is a serious hunter himself and, in fact, owns the same gun his character uses in JW, "a 1895 Savage Arms 45-70."

Well, no, but I suspect that's a translation error, since the original article was in Elle (money headline: "The Perfect Cheese For Your Zodiac Sign"). I would say "Marlin" 1895 in 45-70, although I could be completely wrong and he could be referring to a "Savage" 1895 lever rifle, except the only one I've ever seen is in the NRA Museum and I thought they were all in .303. Or the original "Big Medicine," and 1895 Winchester in, I don't know, one of those weird "45-something" cartridges or Teddy's own .405. I'd probably go with the 1895 in .405 over a Marlin in 45-70, but I'd say it's probably a wash as long as you keep away from even a juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The Internet Movie Firearm Database speaks the truth:

It's a Marlin. Cool sling, though...

If we go back to the original Jurassic Park, recall that JP game warden Robert Muldoon, presented as an old Africa hand, carried a Franchi SPAS-12 12 gauge. The Spaz 12, a pump or semi auto, has to be the least pleasant shotgun I've ever pulled the trigger on. It makes a G3 seem like a laugh riot. However, you can get an Isla Nublar Dinosaur Hunting Permit on the SPAS site…don't leave home without one!

Moving to Sequel #1, The Lost World, the star firepower there is a purely Old School double rifle, an American-made B. Searcy and Co. in .600 Nitro Express, pretty much anyone's go-to cartridge for big ass dinosaurs like the T. Rex.

Supposedly, Steven Spielberg, stealth gun owner that he is, has the movie rifle's working twin. I think this is an excellent choice, given that T. Rexes are worse than fleas these days. For $40,000, it's a steal.

By the time we get to Jurassic Park III, not only does the plot get stupider and stupider, proving even the great William Macy needs a big paycheck now and again, but the guns also get stupider…a Barrett M82A2 .50 BMG disguised as a 20mm cannon. From my standpoint, the Barrett XM-109 is a lot cooler. Or they could have simply gone with the M82A2. I would if I was hunting a T. Rex, or maybe a "plains game" triceratops. Might be easier to cart a Desert Tech HTI bullpup around, though it's still a 20-pound lump.

For velociraptors, various smaller raptors and plains game-sized veggie-sauruses, I'm going to stick with the DP-12 for a couple of reasons. The first is that it offers the blazing fast second shot of a double rifle; the second is a pretty quick follow-up pair of shots, critically important when you're dealing with a pack animal like raptors. I think that once the velociraptor market overtakes feral hogs as America's number one game animal, you'll see ammo companies specially tailoring 12 gauge rounds for the velo hunting market.

Maybe I should rest…

BTW, broke in my now mostly finished meditation area today. I decided my first meditation should be with something fun, so I went with a silenced Ruger Charger…om mani padme hum…clang!


Anonymous said...

When did the first double rifles come into being?

Anonymous said...

When did the first double scotch on the rocks come into being ?

Michael Bane said...

Two tough questions!

As a person of Scots ancestry, I suspect the first double scotch on the rocks happened within minutes of the first distillation of alcohol…perhaps seconds, now that I think about it. Then the Celts probably went out and sacrificed something, followed immediately by a war, followed by more scotch.

On the double rifle, if you're thinking of the classic British dangerous game rifles, they rose concurrent with the first wave of British adventurers, think Richard Sir Francis Burton, into Africa and Asia in the mid-1800s, the glory years of Empire. The success of the percussion cap (invented by a Scot, natch, probably after a double scotch no the rocks) allowed successful firearms that could survive the rigors of exploration, and the occasionally tall tales from Africa lead to the huge 10-, 8-, 4- and even 2-bore rifles. the cartridge 4-bore I shot from around 1870 was marked on the barrel, "For elephant, rhinoceros and other pachyderm" just in case something else turned up.


nj larry said...

"For elephant, rhinoceros and other pachyderm" just in case something else turned up.

I'd probably go with the 1895 in .405 over a Marlin in 45-70, but I'd say it's probably a wash as long as you keep away from even a juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Well, that now brings us to the pressing question of what would you really use for any number of cryptids? Narrow it down to in Africa and one here in North America.

Mokele-mbembe in Western Africa. Reported in the super dense, nearly impenetrable rain forests this guy is big. Not T Rex but bigger than Elephant, Hippo or Rhino. Seems to be quite aggressive also.

In NA we of course have Sasquatch. Even Jane Goodall has moved to the "really possible" camp in last couple of years. Males 8 to 12 foot tall, human family member and 600 to 1000 lbs. Shy of human contact but some reports of aggression. Very elusive but unbelievable animal strength and speed.

This is just a thought exercise and I never want, or recommend anyone shooting any such possible animal/human. Would much rather see HD camera footage. Although there are idiots out there who publicly admit to shooting a Sasquatch recently.

Overload in Colorado said...

I gotta disagree with you, Michael. The double scotch on the rocks has to be an American invention. No one else would ruin their scotch by adding iced water.

I'm not a Whiskey prude yet, but I did just subscribe to "Whisky Advocate" magazine.

kmitch200 said...

Overload is right.
Right after the 1st Scotch OTR, they realized that the burnt peat moss, nasty, just threw up a bit in your mouth taste that is whiskey from the UK is made worse by adding anything.
Heard one distiller call it "cracking the whiskey". Can use water or ice.

Anonymous said...

On an unrelated note the current Executive Branch has a new take on prior restraint of free speech:

NRA: Gun blogs, videos, web forums threatened by new Obama regulation


KenG said...

Being a HUGH Elmer Keith fan, its about time someone is writing about big bore rifles, and double guns again!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 10:59 AM,

This might be our last posts! Where will Michael work?

Life Member

P. S.: If ever there was an example of the fascist adage "Make the lie so big no one would ever believe it's not true", this is it, only in reverse! Here, it's "Make the truth so preposterous, no one will believe that we're actually going to do this"!

The basis for the "gag" order is in the June 9, 2015 Federal Register. It IS true! It is being run up the flag pole, just as the M-855 proposed ban was, just to see if anyone is watching.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sheepdog1968 said...

The 45-70 lever action is a fantastic firearm. I have one in stainless with a 16.5" barrel and ghost ring sights. I like it a lot. I bought it to be my "elephant gun." Now there's a other term that could lead to vast debate. I hope no plans to hunt the big 5 any time soon.