Saturday, January 09, 2016


Andy Langlois asked on FaceBook, quite reasonably, what we can expect at SHOT 2016. Here is my response:
I understand there will be many new AR handguards…some will be made out of spider silk spun with the wings of those slutty Eastern European fairies whose tiny little outfits are always slipping slipping slipping away….others will be made of bronze and feature air horns that play programable tunes that you can choose from your iPhone…finally, the full Martha Stewart Living color palette will be available to custom AR makers…there will be carbon fiber, advanced ceramics, cleaning kits with advanced lubrication fluids distilled from the still warm tears of Barack Obama, transexual guns, unisex bathrooms, 1911s made of depleted uranium with grips carved from house siding recovered from Chernobyl, new triggers for every firearm made in the last 50 years, and some will be available in red…there will be new eclectic guns from countries whose names we can't pronounce and whose location we can't readily ascertain…in keeping with their expansion plans, [REDACTED…I signed the NDA] will introduce a driverless car and a "[REDACTED] Signature" exclusive tonic water…there will be new camo patterns for lava fields, New Jersey and fans of Robert Frost's poetry…new calibers will be introduced that work twice as well as anything you presently own, cost twice as much and will feed from a 9mm magazine with sight tweaking from a mallet…flashlights so powerful that heads will actually explode when hit with the beam and that can double as a disco ball…My Little Pony body armor…it's going to be wonderful!


_DonWorsham_ said...

Gosh am I excited about the future. It's always good to have something to look forward to something to believe in.

What ever became of the Glock 7?

"a Glock 7" is "a porcelain gun made in Germany that doesn't show up on your airport metal detectors and costs more than you make in a month"
-- Die Hard movie

Michael Bane said...

I wish I had one! Plus one of those long-rumored never-seen-in-public plastic and ceramic Japanese .22LR machine pistols (actually, I think that was described in a William Gibson cyberpunk novel, or maybe it appeared to me in a dream)...


Anonymous said...

Maybe they can come up with a new line of targets ( Trigger Alert Warning; bad words ahead:) "aimed" at getting Liberals interested in the shooting sports. Rather than featuring the usual man-silhouette, or crazed perp' charging at you, they can have targets that have pictures of: still-alive fetuses; "Ralphie" with his BB-gun, from The Christmas Story; hunters or fishermen; capitalists with fists-full of ca$h; SUV drivers and their SUVs; actual "working people"; cops; Jesus; "Clinate-Change"-deniers; etc. Who knows, it might even get gun and ammo sales to go even higher.

; )

Life Member

Bear said...

Hate to say it, but My Little Pony gear has been around for a while. Not armor (that I've seen) , but holsters and such. Which was an improvement over the Justin Bieber holster I saw.

_DonWorsham_ said...

Purple light in the canyon
that is where I long to be
With my three good companions
just my rifle pony and me

Unknown said...

"1911s made of depleted uranium with grips carved from house siding recovered from Chernobyl"?! WOW, I might get around to buying a 1911, then! I'd also buy lube made from Bho's tears by the gallon.

Anonymous said...

Hi Michael,

Just watched Best Defense, the one about the attack on an office. That had some difficult moments...

And I have one comment about production. This is the first ep that I noticed a trend that has been afflicting some of the other gun shows-- NOT looking at the camera while talking.

Every monologue scene, it's Medium close up looking at camera, CUT, medium close up with the presenter looking past my shoulder, CUT, rinse and repeat. It's very distracting. I've stopped watching the other shows that do this as it feels disrespectful and shifty when the presenter doesn't look at me, the person he's talking to. And it increases the number of cuts per minute without any benefit to the viewer, just distraction.

I find a lot of value in your show, and would like to continue watching it. The subject matter can be difficult enough, without the style of presentation getting in the way.



Anonymous said...

I double Nick's comment. Looking past the camera and a camera that wanders slightly while the speaker stands still drives me nuts!!

okeyo said...

The technology for that is going into the "GR-15", glock's answer to the ar-15.

DamDoc said...

Im holding out for the Sonos iphone-controlled music handguards you mentioned... and the rumored AR15 magazine followers (size adapted to your local magazine size limitation) that emits the "smell of cordite" when it is empty...

Great special podcast btw.. I appreciated it! Funny how (at least on FOX News.. not sure about others) that some mysterious (Bloomberg) organization is now running spot ads regarding what a great common sense victory "the One" gave "us" last week, and how much even republicans and NRA members support "the Ones" unilateral actions by wide margins (how was the poll question asked?)..... This seems like they are trying to keep the ball rolling and fool legislators as to the level of popular support the presidential tear fest has suddenly created.. Trying to show us how everything is changed now!... repeat a lie enough, and it becomes true.. As said in the podcast: Air

Unknown said...

@DamDoc - I like the Sonos controlled handguards! What better way to conduct a room clearing exercise than with Ride of the Valkyrie blaring off your handguards! Love it!

Anonymous said...

The history is a bit fuzzy, but it looks fairly certain that last use of cordite to mfgr new small arms ammunition likely concluded by 1945. Cordite trivia:

"Cordite was also used in the detonation system of the Little Boy atom"ic bomb dropped over Hiroshima in August 1945."

RSR: presumably they were referring to the propellant used in the gun-barrel enriched uranium fission device.

Jeff, Hollister, CA said...

On a serious note.
My club has gone to biodegradable clay pigeons for the benefit of all mankind.
I asked the major players at SHOT, years gone by, to develop biodegradable wads in trap load 12 guage.
I only could ask for 5,000 cases (50,000 boxes) a year, they "said they would look into it."
If you are wondering around the shot show and happen upon shot shell manufacturers, tell them the do gooders are concerned about the plastic wads, and can they help.

clark myers said...

The late somewhat lamented Lincoln Park Gun Club was able to stick with card and fiber wads - better save my wad column height gages and pressure springs.

SaraAhrens421 said...

My little pony sounds intriguing... Sorry I won't be at SHOT this year to be one of the first to try it! I'm sure they'll come out with better sh&t next year!

SaraAhrens421 said...

Actually Michael when you're there see if you can get me one covered in quilted fleece and if they could rig it with a button like I have in my car that activates a warmer... You know similar to a seat or steering wheel warmer, we in the north would be very appreciative. I knew I should've applied for an indoor gun range membership but they said that El NiƱo was going to make this a mild winter!?! IDK I guess technically temperature that feel like -15 are milder that the typical -30-degrees we usually see but it's so cold it hurts to be outside... Let alone shoot! ☃brrr

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