Monday, September 29, 2008

A Column I Wish I'd Written.

... from the ever-iconoclastic Dave Petzal over at the Field & Stream Gun Nut blog:
But, my fellow Americans, lest I be thought superficial, here is a brief summation of each candidate as I see him or her:

John McCain: A mid-20th-century man trying to get a handle on the 21st century and failing. Sort of like me. However, I know how to send an e-mail. He is about as interested in gun legislation as he is in acquiring a third wife with no money.

Sarah Palin: I would go moose hunting with her any day, but as for the rest of it…

Barack Obama: Our best orator in years, provided he has a teleprompter. He ran a fine campaign against Hillary, who ran a terrible campaign. His major qualification seems to be the 143 days he has spent in the Senate.

Joe Biden: I had thought of him as merely one more spavined Senate hack. However, he is proving himself to be a major buffoon. I expect that any day now, he will claim he owns the laptop on which Lincoln composed the Gettysburg Address. Biden has it in him, if elected, to take his place alongside Dan Quayle and Spiro Agnew in the pantheon of Truly Embarrassing Vice Presidents.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would be sorely disappointed if you had written that.

“Everybody sucks because I say so…the end.”

Ratcatcher 55

alfsauve said...

As my European friends say: "What's wrong with you people?" One candidate is a lawyer married to a lawyer. The other, an honorable veteran, former POW, married to a beer distributor. What's to decide?

Anonymous said...

Now, having said all of that, what do we do? Where do we go from here? Who do we support? Who is best for America? Where are the real leaders? Where are we?
We are where we are at this point, like it, or not. Now, let's all get behind who we know is the only choice that we have and get it done!
Life Member
P. S.: No cry-babies allowed!
I'd have been disappointed if you took that approach too MB.

be603 said...

Who's least likely to get my family killed and restrict my gun rights?

Simple answer. Case closed.

To coin phrase,
"It's the judges stupid."

Anonymous said...

Gun owners -- all gun owners -- pay a heavy price for having to defend the availability of these weapons. The American public -- and the gun-owning public; especially the gun-owning public -- would be better off without the hardcore military arms, which puts the average sportsman in a real dilemma. An Uzi or an AKM or an AK-47 should be no more generally available than a Claymore mine or a block of C4 explosive.

-- David E. Petzal 1994

Anonymous said...

John McCain will lead to divided Government. Four years of both sides yelling at each other and gridlock.

Obama will do for the country what David Dinkins did to NY City. Go ask a real NY'er what life was like under Dinkins as mayor.

Harmony Hermit

nj_larry said...

anon 7:27

Dead on ! Petzal and Zumbo are two peas in the same pod. Making their living in the industry but having no sense of what the citizens/consumers are about.

Jason Smith said...

"ever-iconoclastic"? Are those fancy words for "moron"?

cbar10@hotmail.com said...

"John McCain: A mid-20th-century man trying to get a handle on the 21st century and failing."

Yeah, he's not "nuanced" like the Obamarama. I think Al Qaeda would find that the difference between "nuanced" and McCain would be the difference between talk, talk and more talk, and a 2000-pound bomb. That's why Obama is the candidate of choice for Al Qaeda. "Talk" they can live with, but they really, really hate those 2000 pounders.