But, my fellow Americans, lest I be thought superficial, here is a brief summation of each candidate as I see him or her:
John McCain: A mid-20th-century man trying to get a handle on the 21st century and failing. Sort of like me. However, I know how to send an e-mail. He is about as interested in gun legislation as he is in acquiring a third wife with no money.
Sarah Palin: I would go moose hunting with her any day, but as for the rest of it…
Barack Obama: Our best orator in years, provided he has a teleprompter. He ran a fine campaign against Hillary, who ran a terrible campaign. His major qualification seems to be the 143 days he has spent in the Senate.
Joe Biden: I had thought of him as merely one more spavined Senate hack. However, he is proving himself to be a major buffoon. I expect that any day now, he will claim he owns the laptop on which Lincoln composed the Gettysburg Address. Biden has it in him, if elected, to take his place alongside Dan Quayle and Spiro Agnew in the pantheon of Truly Embarrassing Vice Presidents.
Monday, September 29, 2008
A Column I Wish I'd Written.
... from the ever-iconoclastic Dave Petzal over at the Field & Stream Gun Nut blog: