Friday, January 02, 2009

More Fun with Cannon Safes!

From the Cannon website:
About US

INTEGRITY: Moral or ethical strength, the quality of being honest, the condition of being free from defects or faults

HONESTY: Free from fraud or deception

These traits seem to be falling by the wayside in our current business climate. All too often, the news of another misrepresented product, stock, or business deal is in the headlines.
Those rollicking guys at Cannon! They sure know how to throw a good practical joke...at least, I think it's a practical joke...

That's the only way to explain the replacement "lock" they sent me.

If you recall, when I talked to their humorously titled "Customer Service Department," the wonderfully responsive "knowledgeable service technician with the authority to fix any Cannon Safe issue on the spot," said that while I was on my own on getting the safe open, he would honor their "Lifetime Warranty" — those guys! — on manufacturing defects and send me a replacement lock that I would have to figure out how to install because Cannon doesn't care whether I remain a customer or not. He said he didn't have KABA locks — the one that failed — but he would send "an S&G."

Those jokers! I thought they'd send "an S&G," Sargent and Greenleaf, a standard safe lock found on almost everyone's safes. But those comic tricksters sent me the bottom-of-the-line LP Lock — a plastic piece of apparently made-in-China crap that you might find on those $29.95 "safes" available from the office supply store.

At first, I was taken in...I thought they actually sent me this...toy...as a lock...then I realized the joke...it's an homage to rapper Flavor Flav, whose signature outfit always included a huge clock necklace. While the original failed KABA lock is all metal, weighs almost a pound, is contoured for easy access, blah blah, the "Flavor Flav" Cannon lock weighs in at a "hefty" 2.7 ounces — perfect for hanging on a necklace! — and is genuine, authentic gold-colored plastic! Hot!

I've decided to play along with the joke and ACTUALLY WEAR my "Flavor Flav" Cannon at the SHOT SHOW! Get down! YO! What a brilliant marketing plan...selling safes with toy locks you can actually wear and make a fashion statement! I'm hoping people ask me where they can get their own "Flavor Flav" Cannon Lock for the next Rave!

Thanks, Cannon! I can't get my safe open, but I'll look bad to the bone at SHOT!

Check this out!

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is typical of the quality of "gun safes". There is a reason that Cannon (and Ft Knox) are very evasive about what exactly is UL listed about their "UL Listed" safes. Using UL listed drywall in their safes for fire protection doesn't make it a UL listed safe.

Please go talk to someone who makes or sells actual UL rated burglary with fire protection safes. Like Amsec or Meilink.

Anonymous said...

This is just tooo sweet. I have really
enjoyed this entire saga.
Michael, you'll need some pants to match the bling!

Glad to see you've maintained your humor thru
this ordeal.

After you have your "stuff" out of the safe,
how about a Wiley Coyote drop the safe on
the Cannon (Acme) executive at shot.

Let's see, a hunting blind manufactuer along with
Warn or Ramsey should get you of to a good start!

Tim Covington said...

I ahve an idea. So more people can see this story, why don't you contact the people at http://www.consumerist.com

They are very good at finding the e-mail addresses of company executives and getting things fixed.

nj_larry said...

I have it figured out. Cannon wants to fail. Then they will apply to the Federal Gov't for a bailout. After that the executives will hold a sales rally at one of the swankier resorts ! Finally they will close shop and all receive golden exit packages !! Brilliant !!!

hillbilly said...

Yo, B-Dog!

That's stylin, brutha....Hol-ly-wood!

Yo Canon, why you got be a playa-hater?

Dave S. said...

Day-um! That is the shiznit, dawg! Where can I get a dope chain like that? Hook a brutha up!

Dave S. said...

Gotta say, tho, the bling is off the hook, but the yellow ducky is whacked. Know what I'm sayin'?

Farmer Frank said...

Michael: Don't put too much faith in a S&G lock because I had one fail on a Fort Knox safe. Hired a locksmith and while we were on the phone to Utah he drilled it.....repeatedly. Took about an hour and a half and four different tries if I remember correctly. I paid for the locksmith, but Fort Knox stood up for the box. That's right I got a new one in exchange for the old one, which I shipped back freight collect.

It all came down to the S&G lock failing.

Stuff happens.

All The Best,
Frank W. James

Anonymous said...

Take that puppy to SHOT and set it up right in front of their booth, the mushroom

Anonymous said...

MB,

You, sir, are a Great American. This post just backs up why I read the blog and watch your shows.

Keep up the good work.

SA

1akmaninfl said...

SHOT Show booth decor idea. Super-poster size bling photo with hard copy of your Cannon saga posts and Comments from each.

Cool reading for the Cannon VIP's at SHOT, if they can fight their way through the laughing crowd.

gotta love it.

George said...

Yo, "45 Mike"!

Make sure you were "drawers" down around your ass while you go through SHOT wearing your lock. That way everyone will know how you roll!

DonWorsham said...

MB, I think you have your finger extensions wrong. Should only be one finger extended.

Walt said...

Maybe you can get some buttons made up in time for the show with pix of that high dollar lock on 'em.

"We Deal In Junk, Friend..."

Geoff aka Pathfinder said...

"Anonymous said...

This is just tooo sweet. I have really enjoyed this entire saga. Michael, you'll need some pants to match the bling!"

Pants, hell, he needs some gold grills to go along with the gold jewels, man. Nice shiny gold grills. That's the ticket.

And Dave S., no one knows what you are saying! :-)

nj_larry said...

Forget a free standing safe. Take a hint from the Bruce Stern gun vault (incorrectly id'd as Charlton Heston. Stern died in '07 and you can't have the hundreds of minty weapons he stored in the vault under his home). Reinforced concert walls and take a look at the vault door:

http://alphecca.com/aps/heston_2.jpg

hairy hobbit said...

nah, just write a letter to the editor of some lefty paper about how cannon is helping criminals out by making shoddy products, not standing behind them, and denying honest folks the means to securely store their guns and reduce crime.

Oh, and go with the brass grills yo!

Hazcat said...

One word for ya MB....BRILIANT!

Clark Kent said...

Of course, now you'll hafta learn to shoot holding your piece sideways. Der always be a tradeoff, nome sane?

Anonymous said...

The Best mohammed T-shirt is from Sweden. Watch and read the info at,
http://www.mohammedt-shirt.com
islam NO, freedom YES

Anonymous said...

Datz some bad-ass shizzle bling, yo!

I'z flat wid da way you be representin' us consumerators!


Word 'n peace out G.

APismoClam

steve said...

doh. i just bought one a couple of weeks ago. jeez.

Eric said...

You need a Glock foh-tay or a tiger-striped Desert Eagle in your other hand, bro!

catfish said...

Mental note to self - don't piss Bane off...

Anonymous said...

Many of the warranty problems stem from and are allowed by various state warranty laws. Under those laws, a "Lifetime Guarantee" is actually defined by the seller and is far from having anything to do with the products life, or the buyers. In many cases, businesses routinely "re-generate" themselves and emerge as a "different" business entity, even though we would never know that. Then, they do not have to stick to their "Lifetime Warranties" because they argue that "Those were the OLD guys, not us. We're the NEW guys". These laws actually let the sellers off the hook almost entirely.
One tip-off that something isn't right, comes when the manufacturer doesn't list a business address, a phone number, a website, an E-mail address, or even a city where they're located. I own one of THOSE safes. So far, no problem, but who knows what the future will bring.
We need to also hold our State Attorneys Generel accountable for enfocing the current laws and our Representative and Senators accountable for drafting laws that actually protect the consumer.
I write letters and keep my name known among them.
Life Member

Anonymous said...

I cannot understand how Cannon Safe has allowed this to go on. Do none of them go online? Do none of them scan the blogs and news stories for mentions of their company?

I think at SHOT Show you have to film yourself on the floor dealing with this entire issue. You need to do it for all those future consumers that need a legit warranty backing up the products they buy.

Anonymous said...

Michael I'm a member of SAVTA (safe and vault technicians association)Michael you need to stick with guns. That is not the Lock but the keypad (like a keyboard). Actually LP Locks are a very high security European made lock with final assembly in Torrance CA. The S&G that you are so praising is made in China. The inventor of the LP lock is the same guy who worked for S&G for decades and later started LaGard Locks one of the best locks ever made. Unfortunately it was purchased by Kaba Mas (who no longer deals in Gun Safes as they said the end user was ignorant) and Kaba Mas has ceased production. Reading all the posts this is no big deal to fix. Call a local locksmith ask him if he has Type 1 Electronic Lock experience and he will be able to fix it right quick and put the new LP Lock on. As far as Mechanical your posters don't know there 1911 from a Sig 229 when it comes to locks. I have electronic locks that are used daily that are approaching 15 years of service with ZERO problems. The same cannot be said for Mechanical Locks. There is one fact in this business ALL Mechanical Locks will have problems sooner or later, That is how I make my money servicing safes with Mechanical Locks.

The Saj said...

I definitely think you should wear that around The Shot Show.

***

Lifetime Warranty, that's why I love Rugers. They don't even come with a warranty. Just a gentlemen's agreement. If you have a problem send it back...

Anonymous said...

Buyer Beware!!
I recently purchased a Cannon/Oxbow safe and the safe had a mechanical malfunction within a few days of having it delivered. This was a 72” tall x 48” wide Oxbow with an electronic key pad. What a piece of crap this safe proved to be. After multiple phone calls with condescending, rude, totally unprofessional , so called technical representatives, they dispatched what could only be described as a grossly under qualified locksmith to try and repair the safe. Although he was successful in getting into the safe, the problem was not corrected, as it malfunctioned a second time within a week, leaving my guns and valuables locked up with no way of getting in. After a second attempt to repair the safe, the same situation occurred, leaving the safe locked up for almost six weeks while my phone calls and voice messages were virtually ignored. My frustration led me to go to the gun store where I had purchased the Oxbow. They contacted Cannon and this led to the same condescending pricks calling me and complaining to me about how much money they had spent in the attempt to repair their safe. I was so flabbergasted to hear this that I did not even dignify it with a response, like how much money I had spent on this piece of crap and what “lifetime warranty against all mechanical defects” really means, not to mention the time and aggravation I had wasted meeting with locksmiths that had no idea how to fix their product. The third attempt to repair the safe (with a different locksmith by my request) was a miserable failure with the locksmith failing to even get the safe open. This guy made the previous locksmith look like a master safe cracker. Several days and several unanswered voice mails later led me to call the safe rep at the gun store to try and get some answers about what they planned to do to get my safe open. Miraculously, he was able to get the technical rep to answer his phone or return his voice message only to be told that they were not going to do anything more to my safe and that they had called me and let me know this. This was a bold face lie, nobody had called me and the safe rep at the gun store knew they hadn’t. What they also said was that the safe had been abused by me (according to the expert opinion of the so called locksmith) and that had violated my warranty, which was also a bold face lie. Thankfully, the owner of the gun store came out to my house to inspect the safe. He surmised that the safe had not been “abused” and that the safe had a mechanical malfunction, as I was already well aware of. The gun store owner was a man of his word and agreed to replace the Oxbow free of charge. However, I told him that I did not want any Cannon products and would never deal with them again and that I would pay the difference for a Ft. Knox safe, and that’s exactly what I did. If the gun store owner wouldn’t have stepped up to the plate for Cannon, I would have been out of $1500 dollars and would have a permanently locked safe full of guns and valuables, on my own. This is a totally unacceptable way of doing business and how they are staying in business, in a recessional economy, is a mystery. I would highly recommend the Ft. Knox line of safes. My Ft. Knox has operated flawlessly since I bought it. Their company and products eclipses Cannon in every respect, quality, security, durability, customer support and most importantly, integrity.

Sincerely,Nate

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