About USThose rollicking guys at Cannon! They sure know how to throw a good practical joke...at least, I think it's a practical joke...
INTEGRITY: Moral or ethical strength, the quality of being honest, the condition of being free from defects or faults
HONESTY: Free from fraud or deception
These traits seem to be falling by the wayside in our current business climate. All too often, the news of another misrepresented product, stock, or business deal is in the headlines.
That's the only way to explain the replacement "lock" they sent me.
If you recall, when I talked to their humorously titled "Customer Service Department," the wonderfully responsive "knowledgeable service technician with the authority to fix any Cannon Safe issue on the spot," said that while I was on my own on getting the safe open, he would honor their "Lifetime Warranty" — those guys! — on manufacturing defects and send me a replacement lock that I would have to figure out how to install because Cannon doesn't care whether I remain a customer or not. He said he didn't have KABA locks — the one that failed — but he would send "an S&G."
Those jokers! I thought they'd send "an S&G," Sargent and Greenleaf, a standard safe lock found on almost everyone's safes. But those comic tricksters sent me the bottom-of-the-line LP Lock — a plastic piece of apparently made-in-China crap that you might find on those $29.95 "safes" available from the office supply store.
At first, I was taken in...I thought they actually sent me this...toy...as a lock...then I realized the joke...it's an homage to rapper Flavor Flav, whose signature outfit always included a huge clock necklace. While the original failed KABA lock is all metal, weighs almost a pound, is contoured for easy access, blah blah, the "Flavor Flav" Cannon lock weighs in at a "hefty" 2.7 ounces — perfect for hanging on a necklace! — and is genuine, authentic gold-colored plastic! Hot!
I've decided to play along with the joke and ACTUALLY WEAR my "Flavor Flav" Cannon at the SHOT SHOW! Get down! YO! What a brilliant marketing plan...selling safes with toy locks you can actually wear and make a fashion statement! I'm hoping people ask me where they can get their own "Flavor Flav" Cannon Lock for the next Rave!
Thanks, Cannon! I can't get my safe open, but I'll look bad to the bone at SHOT!
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