Sunday, September 27, 2009

Critical Issues of Zombies...

From the now all-red Land Down Under:
If schlock horror cinema has taught me nothing, and it hasn’t, it’s that the slow and the dull-witted, the unimaginative and the zombie fodder extras are all going down in the first 15 minutes of the opening reel. So while the rest of you are trapped in your barricaded offices and boarded-up homes reading this on your flickering fading Internet connections I shall be long gone, laughing my rich piratical pirate laugh as I drive out of the dust-choked city in my commandeered six wheel paramilitary vehicle, plowing through hordes of the dusty Undead, sparing nary a backward glance as the Religious Maniac tumbles from her precarious perch at the back of the vehicle into the clutches of the Zombie Horde (possibly pushed out by the Evil Hot Chick as a rationing measure after stronger than anticipated overnight demand for Hamburger In A Can – a little extreme admittedly but, you know, her Evil is only matched by her Hotness
). Bring on the Zoms!

4 comments:

Chris said...

You are too funny.

Lawrence said...

Zombie combat is cheap too. One does not need black rifles and expensive ammo.

One can deal with the walking dead with a cheap pawn shop 22 mag, a 3rd hand used mossberg pump 12 ga and a taurus 38 snubby.

Overload in Colorado said...

What if you're barricaded in your office and you receive an email with the subject 'Re: Your Brains'?

Clark Kent said...

In the wake of the Twilight and True Blood mania, perhaps it's time for a story about good zombies v. the bad kind.

Maybe it's already been done. I doubt it, tho, or my sweet-16 daughter would be wearing a T-shirt hawking one or more of the characters by now.