Monday, December 14, 2009

Gifts for the INCREDIBLY HARD TO PLEASE


How about Dr. Grordbort's VICTORIOUS MONGOOSE 1902A CONCEALABLE RAY PISTOL, from the twisted minds at Weta (where else, gollum gollum?). Here's what you need to know:
Augmenting security with discretion, the Victorious Mongoose has been purposely produced at just over half the size of the earlier wave weapons, while still packing the punch of its big-boned counterparts. Snugly nestled in an unbearably dashing leather-embossed and satin-lined case, the world's first concealable ray pistol is at last upon us in complete and flawless glory.
Our much cherished pocket-size atomiser - the world's first concealable ray pistol and the fourth in Doctor Grordbrort's line of infallible aether oscillators - is now available for your fine and capable hands to clasp and fondle. With an edition size of a mere 400, this punchy little nipper is flying off the shelves like a cash-eating flying fish attacking your wallet - and those of you who have had the privilege of such a rare encounter will know what curious jollies are to be had there. You know who you are.
Weta's in NZ, of course, so the overnight shipping's gonna cost ya...don't putz around like you did on the $7,000 Blunderbuss, which I would come close to killing to own...especially if I could get it in 8 gauge...


I am going to make it my mission at SHOT to get a gun company to call one of their new guns "Victorious Mongoose." I suppose in today's culture it would have to be named Tactical Victorious Mongoose and available in Flat Dark Earth color...and yes, you are a "punchy little nipper" yourself...you know who you are...

14 comments:

Funseeker said...

Michael, but here in CA, it will be limited to a 10 kilojoule magazine capacity.....

Clark Kent said...

I'll wait for the Crimson Trace knockoff.

nj_larry said...

yeah, it's illegal in Bloomberg's NYC. :(

Anonymous said...

Concealable? Yes.
But Mexican carry is out unless you want a wedgie.

Erik in Colo.

Ulmus said...

"Pumchy little nipper"?

You talking to Alf the wonder beagle again?

ericire12 said...

I rather have the noisy cricket

Joe Merchant24 said...

Speaking of Tacti-cool, I'm guessign you've seen Browning's limited-edition 'Tactical Gun Safe"?

http://www.browning.com/library/infonews/detail.asp?id=198

Can some one explain the mirrored back wall? Is that so you can retrieve stuff from the back, yet still make sure bin Laden doesn't sneak up on you and give you a wedgie?

The Saj said...

Steam Punk Babie!!!

I am actually working on a steam punk gun, or rather I plan to.

I picked up a T/C Firestorm muzzleloader which has a synthetic stock and fiber optic sights. I want to add a green laser. Maybe a few other whizbang 18th century style gadgets and make it a steam punk rifle.

:-)

Rick said...

"Can some one explain the mirrored back wall? "

I would assume it would be to help illuminate the safe without need of lights. Besides, it makes it look like you have twice as many guns!

Dave S. said...

Is there anyone left in this country who is not a 15-year-old boy?

Sigh... grumble...

shawn r. said...

yes those of us who are only 14 year old boys! And that's on our more mature days

Haji said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Haji said...

Dang, I hate not being able to edit!

I don't get the whole Steam Punk thing at all, but apparently there are people that are into it. More power to 'em; whatever it takes to get more people interested in shooting.

Anonymous said...

If I'm going to drop $7,000 on a rifle, it damned well better be able to disintegrate something besides my budget!

...But yes, Weta's Doctor Grodebort's steampunk weapons collection is pure win. And a "Victorious Mongoose" would look cool on the mantle.

--Wes S.

(Who notes that his word verification selection, "caranc," would make a great name for the next phantasmagorical creation of Weta's crazed boffins.)