Saturday, August 08, 2015

Baa-Ram-Ewe Redux!

From the UK Telegraph:
Driver stopped with sheep in car tells police 'I was taking it to McDonald's 
A motorist in North Yorkshire who was travelling with a sheep in his boot tells police he was taking it out for a meal
Here's my problem…and it's not that some guy was taking a sheep on a date…given the relentless war on men, the now-pervasive belief that there may be dozens and dozens of genders, all identifiable only by other self-identified members of said gender (we llama, OTO-HOOF, don't have that issue), the fact that on college campuses across America if a cis-male (look it up) wants to even wave at an Other Gendered person across the campus, he must first secure a signed agreement with the Other Gendered person which agrees that said wave, while constituting a sexual advance equivalent with rape and probably murder, will have prosecution withheld as long as 1) duration of the wave does not exceed 2.8 seconds, 2) the cis-male does not approach the Other Gendered person any closer than 50 yards and 3) the cis-male in no way, including but not limited to, vocally, by hand, arm, face or body gesture, by impure thoughts, or though direct intercession of aliens, indicates that he has a penis…

...sheep seem pretty reasonable. At least you can open a door for a sheep and she won't bite your head off.
Nope, my problem is…c'mon! A MacDonald's? A sheep's not going to be able to fit in those booths! Plus, a MacSalad while you're sitting there chowing down on two patties that used to be her best friend Ted the Cow? Tasteless, dude…as tasteless as the burger. Even a Souper!Salad would show a little more class. Or a lovely picnic in her pasture, sharing carrot tops (not Carrot Top the comedian you idiots!) with her closest flock mates…then, next time your buddy asks you to set him up…nudge nudge wink wink say no more

But never, ever mention mint jelly!!!!

7 comments:

kmitch200 said...

with her closest flock mates

Oooooo...Kinky! A menage-a-baa?

Anonymous said...

Sheep lie.

Anonymous said...

"Hey, McCleoud, get off a' ma yew"

wendigo said...

Your not my Daaaddy!

wendigo said...

Your not my Daaaddy!

wendigo said...

Your not my Daaaddy!

JohninMd.(HELP?!??) said...

Potential list of charges -- impure thoughts on a steamboat landing; mopery w/intent to creep; fugitive from the Board of Health; impersonation of a human being; etc. Ad Nauseum......