Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Lindsay Lohan's Life to be Sold on E-Bay?

As the only gun blog regularly covering the spreading Lindsay Lohan Crisis on a regular basis, I thought it was past time for an important update. It was announced today that the Loveable Lindsay doesn't have the scratch for another 3 months in Betty Ford, not to mention the coke. Sources close to Lindsay (including Alf the Wonder Beagle and Michael Jackson's presently incarcerated chimp) tell us that the Vivacious Vixen has come up with a unique solution — she will sell up to 12 months of her life on E-Bay.

If you're lucky enough to win Lindsay for 1 month, she will come live in your house for an entire 30 days. She promises to lounge around your doublewide in panties and bra, Twitter pictures of Hummel collection, make a pass at (choose 1) you, your spouse, your son, your daughter, the girl who babysits once a week or a family pet. She also guarantees at least either 1 overdose or 1 arrest.

If you're willing to bid for a 3 month block, Lindsay will also agree to marry you, with a subsequent divorce on day 90. There are rumors that George Soros has expressed an interest in obtaining the whole 12 months if, and only if, Charlie Sheen is included. "Boy Howdy, that Charlie knows how to party," Soros is reported to have said.

Anyway, I picked up my RRA PDS pistol yesterday and I was momentarily overcome with Gun Lust. I think the commenters on the previous post who talk about how much fun these guns are to shoot have the right of it. Although I'm thinking about doing a special on DRTV sorting out the uses of these pistols, a la the last post...I'll sort it out over dinner with Marshal Halloway tonight.

And yes, AR pistols DO make Sarah Brady cry, which is certainly reason enough to own one.


Earl said...

We like ours!

Dave S. said...

"AR pistols DO make Sarah Brady cry"

And Jeff Cooper.

Honestly, these dumb things should make any grown man cry. Fun toy? Sure. Sensible weapon? No.

They're the Batmobile replicas of the gun world.

Charles Pergiel said...

You are very funny.

Graybeard said...

You shouldn't use the word "spreading" with "Lindsay Lohan" in the same sentence. Too many images come to mind.

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