Wednesday, October 06, 2010

You Might Be a Mall Ninja If...

This from SnarkyBytes:
If your wardrobe consists entirely of 5.11 then you might be a mall ninja.
If you ever stood downrange while people were firing, you might be a mall ninja.
If you own a drop leg holster, you might be a mall ninja.
If you ever described yourself as HSLD, then might be a mall ninja.
If you shoot any kind of airsoft anywhere but the privacy of your back yard, you might be a mall ninja.
If you’re more interested in how tacticool a gun looks than how it shoots, you might be a mall ninja.
If you have ever attended a tactical carbine class, you might be a mall ninja.
If your “gear” is a fashion statement, you might be a mall ninja.
If you want to be a cop so bad that you impersonate one, you might be a mall ninja.
If you’ve memorized all the acronyms on the survivalblog, you might be a mall ninja.
If you spend time on the Internet arguing about the best tactical flashlight, you might be a mall ninja.
If you own anything made by H&K, you’re a mall ninja, no maybe about it.
If you own a concealed carry badge, then you might be a mall ninja.
If all the blades on your knives are matte black, you might be a mall ninja
If you list the guns you own next to your signature, you might be a mall ninja.
If your M4gery has more rails than a train track, you might be a mall ninja.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

AWESOME!!

Michael Bane said...

They got me on the tactical carbine class...and HEY, 5.11 makes the best boot socks in the business...sorry I lost the pair they sent me!

mb

Anonymous said...

So attending a training class to learn how to use a gun makes you a "mall ninja"? Dumb.

Bob said...

You might be a mall ninja if you took a class at Diemon Daves Ninja School and learned some Ninjee Whompin Action.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuigcXvcy1A

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute - plenty of decent people own P7s... And I who wouldn't want to own a 10MM MP5?

Brian said...

But my HK USP .45 (Not a tacticool) fits my hand perfect...

Oh but try Under-Armor boot socks, not quite as comfortable as the 5.11, but 5 times more durable.

ZM said...

You might be a Mall Ninja!

"Everybody's Kung Fu fighting...."

Anonymous said...

if i'm confident in my ability to make a shot in a crisis situation. though have never had to.
am i a mall ninja? "i have been accused"

don't hate on the 5.11 gear, with one of the sandboxes closed, the sales are everywhere. $129.00 boots for $49.00 with a free boot knife and three pairs of 5.11 socks thrown in. how could i possibly pass that up. lol

if you own a tactical beanie, your probably a mall ninja.

Moosejaw said...

"If your M4gery has more rails than a train track, you might be a mall ninja"?????



http://sleekupload.com/uploads_jpg/25/n38916014_32191408_5231.jpg

Anonymous said...

If a knife is your back up weapon..you is a mall ninja

Anonymous said...

Come on now! You can't tell me that my H&K P9s makes me a Mall Ninja! It's only a single stack 9!!
Thaine

Anonymous said...

If you argue publicly that you are not a mall ninja, you probably are.

Terry

Michael Bane said...

Anon, an H&K P9s not only disqualifies you as a Mall Ninja, it bumps you into the "Too Kool for Skool" category! The only way you could be trumped would be if someone was daily carrying a Steyr GB...

If your back-up weapon is a Zombie Tools Reaper, you are not a Mall Ninja, but rather certifiably insane, although one heck of a guy/gal tohave around when the ZA happens...

mb

rpm64 said...

Please define Mall Ninja.

Robin said...

So do I have to trash the dropleg holster or can I give it to Goodwill?

WGBJR said...

" rpm64 said...
Please define Mall Ninja"


google Gekko45

Anonymous said...

If a hot woman is walking toward you and you are estimating range instead of cup size you might be a mall ninja.

- BDJ74

Anonymous said...

If you have cornea damage from your laser grips because you just look sooooo cool in the mirror when you draw down you might be a mall ninja.

- BDJ74

PS: Crimson Trace rocks!!!

Anonymous said...

If keeping the racoons out of your trash cans involves a ghillie suit you might be a mall ninja.

- BDJ74

Anonymous said...

If you have ever uttered the phrase "Now come at me!" to your girlfriend while standing in your living room you might be a mall ninja.

If you have a silhouette target hanging in your home with the X-ring shot out and the paper has powder burns on it you might be a mall ninja.

If you wear a Glock T-shirt and black vinyl fanny pack out in public you might be a mall ninja.

If when you unbutton your pants you must have a firm two handed grip to keep them from crashing to the floor you might be a mall ninja.

If you have ever pepper sprayed your self by accident in your garage you might be a mall ninja.

If you get in a little dry fire practice while on the toilet you might be a mall ninja.

If your idea of evaluating firearms involves going to gun stores and pointing the muzzles at the staff and customers while repeatedly pulling the trigger you might be a mall ninja.

If you have “Got SIG?” and “Wilson Combat” bumper stickers on your ’87 Elantra you might be a mall ninja.

If you incessantly proclaim that a Glock is the finest gun ever created and the only gun you have ever owned is a Glock you might be a mall ninja.

If you “Groucho” walk in your house at least once a day you might be a mall ninja

If you have ever loaned your flashlight to someone and then heard “Jesus Christ I can’t see!” you might be a mall ninja.

If a range officer has ever made you cry you might be a mall ninja.

- BDJ74

DAKOTARANGER said...

Owning a dropleg holster?! I guess it should be balanced out with the gunleather I have for the Vaquero. Most of what I own are Wranglers, but I do have a good chunk of 5.11 stuff (The Rush Pack is pretty good and their pouches are great)

So does that make me a Cigar store ninja or a strip-mall cowboy? *snicker

Dave S. said...

If you use the word "zombie" at least once a day, you're a mall ninja.

If you have a wall rack of $49 stainless-steel samurai swords, you're a mall ninja.

If you have a shaved head and a goatee, you're a mall ninja. Or a baseball player.

DAKOTARANGER said...

If you've ever used a Blackhawk LRRP buttpack as a handlebar bag on your bike..you might be a mall ninja

Anonymous said...

OMG! I googled gecko45. Too flipping funny!

3rdman said...

Funny stuff

Here is Gecko45 profile link. It is just down right scary what you can find with google



http://web.archive.org/web/20030428000350/www.mallninja.com/Gecko45.htm

Tim/ said...

"If you have ever loaned your flashlight to someone and then heard “Jesus Christ I can’t see!” you might be a mall ninja."

That is a good one.

Mike said...

You might be a mall ninja if: You accidentally gave yourself a "Bris" with one of your own throwing stars. That sooommmmme how came loose from your pocket holster. I Gevalt!

Mike said...

You might be a mall ninja if: You accidentally gave yourself a "Bris" with one of your own throwing stars. That sooommmmme how came loose from your pocket holster. I Gevalt!

Anonymous said...

If you own an M4gery and have NOT been to a tactical carbine class to learn how to actually use it, you are a Mall Ninja

ExurbanKevin said...

If you call your M4gery a "tactical platform", you might be a mall ninja.

If you debate the the relative accuracy of AK vs. AR after shooting a mag of ammo thru each at a 25 yard target, you might be a mall ninja.

If your M4gery has more optics on it than the Hubble telescope yet you still can't hit the target at 50 yards, you might be a) Stevie Wonder b) in desperate need of re-zeroing your gun or c) a mall ninja.

DAKOTARANGER said...

If you have practiced the SWAT roll that was in the movie SWAT at the range and your gun mate dropleg holster didn't retain your Glock.

If you think Kennue Reeves could really be a police officer.

You have ask a ninja bookmarked and take notes on everything he says

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