Friday, March 18, 2016

I Saw the Movie...

GOOD NEWS! No need to worry anymore about the election! Forget April Fool's Day and your taxes! Overextended on cars, mortgage and credit cards? NO WORRIES! In fact, the only thing you have to worry about after Monday is…wait for it…wait for it…ammo!

How do I know this, you quite rightly ask? Well, I saw the movie...

From USA Today today:
One comet to swerve closer to Earth than any other comet in centuries 
An emerald-green comet will brush the Earth Monday, followed one day later by a kissing cousin that will swerve closer to the planet than any other comet in nearly 250 years. 
The first and bigger of the two comets will be visible Monday to the naked eye in the southern hemisphere, as long as city lights are far away. Stargazers in the United States will probably need only binoculars to see the bigger comet in late March. Scientists, however, are bringing out the big guns. The Hubble Space Telescope, the powerful ground-based Gemini telescopes and others will be trained on the celestial visitors, which will provide an extraordinary close-up of objects usually glimpsed only at a distance. 
“This is one for the record books,” says Michael Kelley of the University of Maryland, who’s never heard of two comets approaching close to Earth a day apart. “It’s a fantastic opportunity for professionals to learn more about comets, and if you have a chance to try to find them … it’s a fantastic chance to see part of history as it happens…"
THAT is exactly what they said in the movie! NIGHT OF THE COMET, 1984, with the big hair hottie Catherine Mary Steward and a baby Kelli Maroney, complete in cheerleader drag.NIGHT OF THE COMET seems set to join ENEMY OF THE STATE and THE SEIGE as movies that uncannily predicted the future.

Here's the plot, straight from Wickipedia:
The Earth is passing through the tail of a comet, an event which has not occurred in 65 million years, the last time coinciding with the extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs. On the night of the comet's passage (which takes place eleven days before Christmas), large crowds gather outside to watch and celebrate. 
18-year-old Regina "Reggie" Belmont (Catherine Mary Stewart) works at a movie theater in southern California. She is annoyed to find the initials DMK have the sixth highest score on the theater's arcade game, all the other scores being hers. She stays after the theater closes to play until DMK's score is removed and have sex with her boyfriend Larry, the theater projectionist, in the steel-lined projection booth. Meanwhile, Reggie's 16-year-old sister Samantha "Sam" (Kelli Maroney)argues with their stepmother Doris, who punches her in the face. 
The next morning, a reddish haze covers everything, and there are no signs of life, only piles of red dust and heaps of clothing. Unaware that anything strange has happened, Larry goes outside and is killed by a zombie. When Reggie goes looking for Larry, she encounters the zombie. She heads home to find her sister. Because both Reggie and Sam spent the night shielded from cosmic effects by steel, they were saved from the comet's effects.
There you have it. Tell me that this is not the real thing…come Monday (as Jimmy Buffett, soon to be the late, or ate, Jimmy Buffett, might sing) it's red goo or 100% ZOM…unless you're behind steel. It means we're going to have to close the blast shutters here at the Secret Hidden Bunker.

Well, it's been a fun ride, and please don't hold it against me if I blast your zombie head into oblivion on Tuesday.

BTW, best line in the  movie? Reggie scores a MAC 10 from Hector, another surviver, by saying, "C'mon Hector. The MAC 10 was practically designed for housewives!" She gives to Sam to learn to shoot. After repeated jams, Sam turns to Reggie and says:

"Daddy would have gotten us an Uzi."

Words of wisdomwords of wisdom…lock and load…Monday is coming!


BaldEagle9 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BaldEagle9 said...

Dang, I was gonna comment the best line myself. Should've known you'd already be on it.

KevinC said...

You saw the movie, Michael, but I read the book:

We are so screwed.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget The Day of the Triffids !

Michael Bane said...

I've read Lucifer's Hammer enough times to be able to recite it I believe it's the best of the genre, right up there with Alas Babylon.

I believe Jerry Pournelle's THE MERCENARY is one of the formative books of my life…


Anonymous said...

And hopefully, the "Merrick Garland" comet will also fly by without burning-up the 2nd Amendment!

Life Member

Bill Lester said...

Let's not forget To be Hooper's "Lifeforce." Alien vampires hide their immense starship inside Haley's comet. And while the sisters in "Night of the Comet" were cute, Mathilda May was friggin' smokin'!

Bill Lester said...

That would be "Tobe Hooper."

NJ Larry said...

Monday morning turning out to be VERY GOOD ! Read decision of SCOTUS in Caetano case. Stunning (no pun intended) defense of Heller by the court !!!

Anonymous said...

The "Stun-Gun" ruling by SCOTUS is very good, especially in its unanimity.
Now, local jurisdictions need to erase their draconian laws prohibiting "bullet-proof" vests. That's right, they're illegal in some states, for civilian use. The rationale is that "criminals may use them".

Just think about it. A young father, or mother that works in a high-crime area can't wear one. He or she may not be able to carry a gun either. What do you tell his kids when someone "Detroits" them?

Life Member