Well, after noted urologist Bill Maher revealed on Jay Leno last night that the reason we have no national discussion on gun control is that gun owners, "have small penises," I for one whipped out a ruler.
Unfortunately, it was a metal ruler...and very VERY cold...apparently I DO have a small penis! Shriveled, too. HMMMMMM, maybe if I sold a Glock or two I would magically morph into LL Cool J...whoops, he once admitted he had some "antique" guns...like maybe from 1983. If I get rid of a loooooooooooooong gun, would that work better? I mean, is it caliber or size? Getting rid of a .32 snubbie hardly seems worth the effort. OTOH, a .500 Magnum...I'm going to have to put some thought into this...
Seriously, Maher has always been a screaming knee-jerk, but I mention the Wee Wee Statement to point out how seriously wide the divide is between the two sides. Here's some more guns = Mr. Willie talk, slightly more sophisticated but the same song. You have to subscribe to read the article by Robert Jay Lifton in the Chronicle of Higher Education, but you can get the entire text for nothing (preferable) on The High Road:
Indeed, I would claim that a gun is not just a lethal device but a psychological actor in this terrible drama. Guns and ammunition were at the heart of Seung-Hui Cho's elaborate orchestration of the event and of his Rambo-like self-presentation to the world. When you look at those pictures, you understand how a gun can merge so fully with a person that a man who makes regular use of it could (in the historical West and in Hollywood) become known as a "gun."HELL-O RJ...thump...thump...thump...anything going in in that ole cantalope of yours? Maybe you should stick to penetrating analysis of American Idol voting patterns, or perhaps casting the entrails of liberals.
There has always been an interesting transference issue in the whole gun control debate — "I don't believe that I can control my temper, so it's important that you don't have a gun;" "I don't believe that I could respond correctly in a mass shooting, so it's important that you don't have the means to respond," etc.
The good news is that Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View in June for part or parts unknown. I suppose it's too much to hope that she'll turn herself in at a tuna cannery to be rendered into canned white albacore. She's probably going to be Homegirl Hillary "Mama's Little Baby Loves Short'nin Short'nin" Clinton's VP...
Maybe there's yet hope for Mr. Willie! Gotta go nappy now!
11 comments:
Every time someone says to me that they couldn't have a gun (and therefoe neither should I) becuase they were sure they would loose their temper and kill somebody, I ask them:
ME: "Are you serious? Do you really think you could get so mad at somone that you would kill them - take their life- over some petty argument?"
Them: "Yes, absolutely!"
ME: "Then you need to do 2 things immediately:
1 - Get some help for your uncontrollabe rage dissorder. It is a recognized sign of serious mental illness, most recently called Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and it requires serious psychological intervention.
2- Immediately STOP giving the rest of us Normal, well adjusted, and sane individuals advice as to weather or not WE should have guns."
Makes for some interesting office conversation, and usually shuts people up pretty quickly.
Doc
Lets see if I understand the logic
If gun equals small male reproductive organ
Then
No gun must equal large female reproductive organ.
Ok I can live with that.
"...Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View in June for part or parts unknown. I suppose it's too much to hope that she'll turn herself in at a tuna cannery to be rendered into canned>white albacore..."
Thanks a lot. Now I'll never eat tuna again...
Curtis in /\/\onTana! {!-{>
Something tells me Maher has been thinking with the wrong head for far too long...
Well first off my Boot Camp CC told us "Guns" are on ships. That there is a "Weapon."
Repeat after me Seaman Recruit:
"This is my weapon, this is my gun.
One is for shooting, the other for fun."
I can't HEAR you!
dw
Wasn't it Freud who said "A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
Well, I don't know about its caliber or barrel length, but my penis sure is accurate.
Two shots, Two kids.
Of course, there was lots of practice and range time required to get those so accurate two shots.
My peeve for literally years has been the lack of good information on the bad people in our communities.
So I did something about it.
I created the website www.religiousfreedomwatch.org
It has been out there for some time but given the sorry state of the world and the ever growing number of terrorists on every corner I thought I would let you know about it.
Hardly a day goes by that it is not voted either the most useful or the most ethical site on the internet.
If you wonder if the new girl at your office is a Jihad cell extremist, this site will tell you.
If you wonder if a guy you met is really a child molestor, this site will tell you.
Don't be surprised if I tell you this site is the one used by the FBI CIA and Homeland Security as well as media to check things.
Now this site is free. My company is American Coast Title and it is very profitable. We pay all of the fees for this site and keep it up to date. Not long ago we helped a special task force capture wanted terrorist and fugitive bomb maker and grave robber Keith Henson!
Right now we are gathering information on the deranged bigot Barbara Graham. She is a pilot who has tried to bomb religious sites around the country. As you can see from the site she is a vulgar woman with no class at all.
But, you can read all about her on the site and see what she looks like in case you want to know if she might be planning something in your own town!
But I have a problem. A bunch of Indonesians are attacking me. I am offering a substantial reward, paid once again by the company, for your help in finding and stopping these zealots.
You can see the details on the reward section of the site. You can also email me at jphillips@actfortitle.com or also mlundgren@actfortitle.com or also asolorzano@actfortitle.com or also fberriz@actfortitle.com or also jsmith@actfortitle.com or also cbryant@actfortitle.com or also the actual reward email itself reward5000@earthlink.net
Help us stop these guys and put some clean cash in your pocket!
Joel Phillips
publisher of www.religiousfreedomwatch.org and owner of American Coast Title
by the way professionals in my industry are free to contact me if they do not believe that I am the one who put up this site as a free public community resource!!
A study was made about the size of the penis, women are more about the motion than the size, however, a guys with a bigger penis will feel confident about himself and will satisfy any woman in bed.
www.extagenformen.com
Writing from experience!!
www.extagenformen.com
Good Luck!
This can't succeed as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I believe.
I know one thing for sure: gun lovers that have posted their opinions on this site have no knowledge of grammar and likely were pretty poor students in school. Dumb people and guns are a frightening combination, but studies show are the largest group of gun owners in the U.S. They know this by how poorly they complete gun license applications. They are also paranoid because they always state that they need guns for protection, so they project that someone is out to get them. Paranoid, dumb people...yikes! Let's not even go into tiny penises!!!!
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