Thursday, December 30, 2004

DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS redux

So for Christmas, my Sweetie goes out and buys what is alledged to be an Amaryllis plant, aka a Barbados lily, although I've been in Barbados a bunch and I never saw any of these suckers. It's supposed to grow a few inches, then flower.

She brings this thing home, waters it, cares for it, and it shoots up like a sunflower on steroids, a 3-foot-tall giant green penis of a plant with a pinkish bulb on top (honest). She wisely relegates the giant penis from the living room to the guest bathroom, where it continues to (malevolently, I'd say) grow. Christmas day, the thing erupts into giant blooms, whch gets it a free trip back to the living room.

The flowers are large and dish-like, sort of like...big pink mouths...and an additional penis is shooting up on the side.

Hmmmmmm, I think, I've seen this movie! And read the book. Check out Day of the Triffids, a 1963 cult film based on the 1951 horror classic by John Wyndam. The Cliff Notes version is that a swarm of meteorites blind almost everyone on earth, who now become easy pickings for mobile, flesh-eating plants, called Triffids, that look uncannily like the monster in my living room. As the movie poster from 1963 said:
"BEWARE THE TRIFFIDS...they grow...know...walk...talk...stalk...and KILL!"
I've done the only thing I can think of to protect myself...I've programmed the Robo-Sapien to the "guard" mode, where it will respond to motion, touch or sound with a "ROAR!" and positioned it directly in front of the giant penis flower. If that sucker starts walking the Robo-Sapien will warn us in time; I'll pop it with my .454 Casull and use my Cold Steel Chef's Knife to make some Triffid salad!

I hope...

KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES, AMERICA!




5 comments:

Bob said...

I loved Day of the Triffids. I've even got it on VHS. I just found your blog. Terrific! I'm Bob Tinsley, we met when you spoke at the RMMWA meeting. I write a blog called "the short of it" (http://theshortofit.blogspot.com) about short fiction and the writing of it. I've linked to you because short fiction writers always have questions about guns. I hope it gets you a lot of traffic.

Candace said...

Hello Michael,
I thoroughly enjoyed "DOTT", altho they moved soooo slowly, how could one not get away? Sort of like the rhetorical question, how can one not get away from "The Mummy"? (Karloff, of course, not this new cybered one).

And yet, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that should I witness the transformation of a werewolf when the moon is full and bright, I'd also be witnessing the transformation of myself to dead. I fear I would be transfixed -- and would just watch until it was FAR too late.

Hope '05 is better to you and worse to those whores, as you say.

Best,
Candace Wiggins

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Murat BATTAL said...

Web tasarım
Grafik tasarım
Tile levelling system
Floor drains
Aluminium profiles
Tile spacers
Women's clothes and lingeries
Textile and cheap accesorries
Sanitation products
Health products
Circular Blades
Straight Blades
Razor Blades
Guillotine Blades
Machine Knives
Industrial Blades
Punch Knives
Paper Cutting Blades
Packaging Blades
Plastic Cutting Blades
istanbul transfer hizmeti
Kurumsal transfer hizmeti
VIP transfer hizmeti
evden eve nakliyat
istanbul evden eve nakliyat fiyatları
şehirler arası evden eve nakliyat
ev eşya depolama şirketi
istanbul ofis taşıma firmaları
şehiriçi evden eve nakliye
antalya terapi
antalya pedogog
antalya psikolojik danışman
antalya psikolojik testler
antalya çocuk psikoloğu
antalya ergen danışmanlığı
antalya psikolog
antalya çocuk pedagog
dekoratif kitap kutusu
Kitap kutusu satışı
Siirt klima servisi
Siirt Beyaz Eşya Servisi
Siirt Klima Bayi
Siirt Klima montaj ve tamir
Siirt Soğutma