Sunday, February 02, 2014

Tactical Groundhog Day

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”
— "Phil Conners"
Groundhog Day
Punxsutawney Phil does a quick sneaky peak outside his secret hidden bunker. It's happening again...the "zombies" have the bunker surrounded! This year, though, it's going to be different. Phil slings the half-size Honey Badger in 5.7 X 28 and tucks 4 more 50-round mags in his custom Tactical Tailor plate carrier/tactical vest. He remembers how hard it was to get a groundhog-sized ceramic plate.  He straps on the groundhog-sized Glock 42, 2 Spyderco Delicas, a bandoleer of mini-flash bangs. Six more weeks of winter his fuzzy brown whistle-pig tail! Today will be a reckoning...
I think I'm going back to bed now. That means there will be 6 more weeks of brutal cold, blizzards, asteroid strikes, tsunamis, angry arguments with total strangers at the Safeway, and Vanilla Ice on television.