Friday, February 09, 2007

I Got Stoned & I Missed It!

I woke up this morning with a song in my heart...unfortunately, it was "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" from South Park:
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!
I'm humming "Mr. Hankey" while I'm waiting for the excavators to start digging up my road, driveway, etc. in a frenetic attempt to once again rejoin the 21st Century (or, rather, to leave the 19th) and get running water.

I figure for what it's costing me, I could fly to Namibia, buy a six-pack of Authentic Underprivileged Native Rug Rats, then sell them to Hollywood movie celebrities for a tindy profit. I would not keep any of the money, though. Instead, I would use every penny to create an appropriate — and emotionally powerful — tribute monument to to the late Anna Nichole Smith...I'm thinking maybe a vending machine, perhaps in designer colors, that dispenses illegal drugs. Oh Anna...we hardly knew ye! Unless, of course, you watched any entertainment shows, in which case you knew Ms. Smith was up for Best Interview From A Woman Stoned Out Of Her Gourd award, the coveted Britney Spears Cup.

Ah well, dig we must!

5 comments:

Patrick Sweeney said...

Is that "Britney Spears Cup" before or after augmentation?

People who are famous for being famous should be tagged, monitored, and posted as if they were sex offenders. Call it the "Hideously Bad Taste" list and update it as needed.

Anonymous said...

ANNA NICHOLE SMITH DIED FROM THE EFFECTS OF GLOBAL WARMING...HER GLOBES GOT TO HOT!!!!

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