Tuesday, April 22, 2008

There's a Ball of Fire in the Sky...

...which was the title of a truly wretched song from Tommy James and the Shondells. But more importantly, yes, there are balls of fire in the sky, over Phoenix and Florida, causing residents to, well, do nothing.

Don't worry...I have a theory! Well, two theories, actually. The first is that the Benevolent Alien Overloads have simply gotten disgusted with the Democratic primary mud-wrestle and have decided to finally make themselves known in the hope of making everyone SHUT THE FRACK UP!

My second and perhaps less likely theory is that the lights are the first signs of the Libertarian Convergence, as predicted in the Mayan Calendar — hey, isn't everything? Anyhow, during the LC a giant black monolith will appear just outside of Intercourse, PA, and simultaneous across the world (in a bizarre recapitulation on the Christian concept of "rapture") liberals will begin exploding, leaving only small greasy spots and an unpleasant odor. Man, would I like to be in Hollywood, or on the set of the Today Show, when the LC hits! It'll look like a string of cheap Chinese firecrackers going off.

Oops...is "cheap Chinese firecrackers" insensitive? Never mind...I'm going to the range to wait for the Benevolent Alien Overlords...I'll bring the cookies and milk...


Anonymous said...

Michael, You do like fracking Battlestar!

Not Available said...

Instead of going to the range you could respond to my emails. Is it safe?

LurkMastR said...

Are you sure BAO are really benevolent? Maybe you should take a tin foil hat just to be safe.

Anonymous said...

I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the Phx media is pissing themselves once again. Excuse me while I yawn in their general direction.
(They bore me on a good day.)
You can bet Gov. NapoliVeto won't be doing any "humorous" press conferences like Symington did. She had any sense of humor surgically removed - got to get ready for that BHusseinO appt. when he gets the Big Desk.

"Man, would I like to be in Hollywood, or on the set of the Today Show, when the LC hits!"

Michael, Michael.
The smell alone would put you to your knees! Would be kinda fun though...


Anonymous said...

I stole this from tha SASS Wire Saloon, ... posted by Red Logan

This is a view I had not thought of, but admire.

"We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.
On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer,
and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with
a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?"

Kinda says a lot, ..... don't it.

Anonymous said...

Oops...is "cheap Chinese firecrackers" insensitive?

If nothing else it is triply redundant. Tri-dundant?

Anonymous said...

Now I know why they call them "Great Danes"! Only they could see right through to who has what character!
Life Member

Anonymous said...

Seems it was just some wise a$$ with time on his hands.
Some of my high school students did this back in the late '60s - flares hanging on a wire from helium ballons. Has the potential for setting fires, which the local police made sure the kids understood. OldeForce

Anonymous said...

I spotted 8 in Tennessee Wednesday night around 10:30 EST..It was unbelievable