Thursday, July 02, 2009

Jackson Kids To Be Sold on eBay?

Rumors are everywhere! Supposedly Madonna and Angelina Jolie have committed to bid on "the cute one," while little Blanket will come with a plushie Blanket stuffed toy, valued at more than $250, and a Michael Jackson Swiss Army Watch. Allegedly, money raised from the sale of the three Jackson children will be used to fund a new Obama initiative to provide free emergency medical care for celebrities as they are weened off soon-to-be banned Vicodin.

More news as it develops!

And speaking of guns, the most recent Rasmussen poll reveals...prepare to be shocked!...that Americans are buying guns because they "fear President Obama's gun control agenda:"
The Rasmussen telephone survey found that only 23 percent of the respondents believe gun sales have risen due to concerns about rising crime. Twenty-one percent are not sure. The poll also revealed that 63 percent of male Americans and 51 percent of women believe gun sales are linked to concerns about new gun control schemes. Another finding is that 65 percent of Republicans and 66 percent of those not affiliated with either major political party think booming gun sales are connected to fears about increased government restrictions.
Well, that makes no sense to me at all, since the inestimable Ray Schoenke of the American Antigun and Harlots Marching Society...excuse me...Hunters and Shooters Association recently guaranteed me that the socialist in the White House just loves guns, and we on the Looney Right should just "stop spreading the lie:"
Let’s get something straight: No one is going to take anyone’s guns away. There is no gun ban coming from the Obama administration.

The rhetoric about gun bans is ridiculous. Most of us know the NRA leadership and others use the specter of gun bans to raise money. But, it’s divisive, and damaging for all law-abiding gun owners. In too many new reports of late, we’ve seen the prospect of gun ban included as a rational for deranged people who have wreaked havoc.

I don’t want all gun owners tarred by the craziness of a few.
Wowie! I feel all tingly up my leg just reading that! Ray even said that he "staked his reputation" on Obama. That's impressive, but I was sort of wondering, "What reputation?"

Finally, I'm worried about Colorado, while topping the list as the healthiest state in the union, is falling behind on beer drinking. According to, Montana, Nevada, North Dakota and New Hampshire are swilling more than 40+ gallons consumed per capita, while the Rocky Mountain High State only consumes 31-35 gallons per capita. Come on, guys! Get with the program!


Overload in Colorado said...

I believe Colorado still has more microbreweries per capita than any other state. The other states may be drinking sucky mass market beer.
Plus, we host the Great American Beer Fest.

Anonymous said...

I have tuned out the local and national news because Michael Jackson is all they feature. Your obsession with the same nonsense greatly disappoints. He has nothing to do with the topic of your blog as I undestand it. If you write once more about it, I will unsubscribe.

Anonymous said...

Of course the Obama administration isn't going to ban guns...that's what judicial appointments are for.

Max said...

Don't worry Anonymous. If Michael hasn't insulted you today, he'll get to you next time.
Michael's point is the media's obsession with all things Michael Jackson.

Keep it up, Lovin the Jackson Satire.

Anonymous said...

I think it makes a statement about America that all this fuss is being made about Michael Jackson, who put his career on hold to stand trial for CHILD MOLESTING while Ed McMahon and Karl Malden are more or less ignored. Of course they "only" put THEIR careers on hold to serve their country.
Another interesting comparison, Elvis and Cassius Clay were both drafted, Elvis put his career on hold and served, Clay ran off to Canada.
Tom Bogan