Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A New Twist on "Man Bites Dog"

Oh, the humanity!

This from the BBC:
Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion.
The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.
The lion was summarily offered a contract with Disney, while the 13 remaining Little People were sold in bulk to the producers of DEADWOOD for use in upcoming episodes involving Mr. Wu's pigs. Newsweek is reporting that copies of the Cambodian Midget Fighting League manifesto, which is considered holy at World Wrestling headquarters in Stamford, CT, was flushed down the lion's gullet by rapacious American soldiers who lost money betting on the midgets.

Yeah, the story's probably fake, but don't you wish it was true? Maybe replace the midgets with reporters from the newsweeklies...

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