The WAG THE DOG Manifesto

The overriding question right now is where we go from here.

This weekend we "tipped." The on-going tensions between the hunting and the shooting sides of the overall firearms market, which I have been reporting on since I started this blog three years ago, boiled over, and for the very first time, the shooting side of the market flexed its muscles.

And suddenly the whole industry now understands what we have known for years — we are the tail wagging the dog.

There were hints of this at the SHOT Show this year. You couldn't walk the floor in Orlando without a sense that a profound change was underway. The "buzz" was all about black rifles, with the new military pistols and precision rifles following behind. It reminded me of the SHOT Shows in the early 1980s, when the tsunami of practical shooting swept the handgun industry. One year we couldn't even get an appointment with major handgun execs...the next, we're being fetted and the floor is awash in trick 1911s.

There were other market indicators that were consistently overlooked:

• Ammo sales — In recent years, it's .223, 7.62 X 39, .308, with the "traditional" calibers falling behind.
• Parts and accessories sales — In the last 12 months, AR-platform parts and accessories have swamped even the huge 1911 P&A market.
• Major manufacturer participation — S&W successfully launches their M&P AR-15; SIGARMS successfully launches their 556; more announcements are scheduled for later this year.
• Expanded competition opportunities — The explosive growth of 3-gun matches and carbine/rifle precision matches is on the way to recreating a "nation of riflemen (and women)."
• The widespread acceptance of black rifles as a home self-defense tool — this is huge; I'm a convert myself.
• Demand for carbine training courses — Through the ceiling across the country...the shooting academies are packin' 'em in for black rifle classes.
• Expanded caliber offerings — Yes, it was obvious even before Sunday that black rifles were moving decisively into the game fields. From exotics like .30-06 tpo the various .458s, to the WSSM cartridges, the AR platform has proven to be amazingly adaptable.

One point I've made before and I want to make very strongly again is that Jim Zumbo didn't say a single thing I haven't heard before from other "hook and bullet" writers. Such writings and statements are, indeed, based on an ignorance of how the market is shifting.

That ignorance is dangerous. Take a look at USA Today's article this AM:

Police needing heavier weapons
Chiefs cite spread of assault rifles
By Kevin Johnson
USA TODAY

WASHINGTON — Law enforcement agencies across the country have been upgrading their firepower to deal with what they say is the increasing presence of high-powered weapons on the streets.

Scott Knight, chairman of the Firearms Committee of the International Association of Chiefs of Police, says an informal survey of about 20 departments revealed that since 2004 all of the agencies have either added weapons to officers' patrol units or have replaced existing weaponry with military-style arms.

Knight, police chief in Chaska, Minn., says the upgrades have occurred since a national ban on certain assault weapons expired in September 2004. The ban, passed in 1994, in part prohibited domestic gunmakers from producing semi-automatic weapons and ammunition dispensers holding more than 10 rounds.

There is a new AWB being considered in Congress, and while this one will likely go nowhere, no one I've talked to believes this will be the last one floated out...especially if a Democrat is elected President in 2008.

Black rifles and their "kin" — .50 BMG guns, long-range precision rifles (aka "sniper" gun), "assault pistols," etc. — will be the RKBA battleground for the forseable future. It is also the primary area of growth, where the new shooters (and, honestly, the new hunters) will come from.

I believe — or maybe I hope — that the industry is now ready to step up to the facts and accord us both the respect and the equal funding our side of the market deserves. That's what I'm hearing.

That's the happy talk part; here's the ugly part. The reason hook and bullet writers have been able to get away with saying such things is through the tacit approval of the people who drive that side of the industry. That has to stop. Remington and Cabela's have taken a huge step in the right direction by disavowing the Jim Zumbo comments; the big boys, Mossy Oak, Realtree and the like, now need to step up and add their voices for unity. The hunting lobbying groups need to make it clear that an attack on one is an attack on all...that there is no difference between an AR-15 and a fine Perazzi shotgun when it comes to the firearms community; that the community will no longer tolerate a discussion on which baby should be thrown off the lifeboat.

I think we're at a watershed moment, and it's up to us to make that moment count. I am profoundly sorry that it was Jim Zumbo who fell under the bus, but every one of us who writes for a living understand that we live and die by those words we write. I was told that by my very first editor when I wrote my first newspaper article for publication in 1968; nothing has changed now except the speed at which we're all judged — and the absence of that "editor" who might caution moderation on our part.

It's scary to reach a tipping point and see how quickly things change. I believe we are now in the driver's seat...where are we going?

Remington Stands Tall!

This from the Remington website:

NOTICE: Remington is in the process of severing our sponsorships with Mr. Zumbo. Remington in no way shares or advocates any of the comments made by Mr. Zumbo on his blog site. A formal announcement will be released by noon today.

Remington Breaks With Zumbo

This from the COMMENTS on the first Zumbo post; I haven't verified that this if REALLY from Mr.Milner, with whom I have always had a cordial and vedry friendly relationship:

"I proudly own AR's and support everyones right to do so!

What makes me sick is how quickly people on the internet have called to boycott Remington. All Jim said was he was hunting with our people! This is normal course in our industry. How else do people think we field test? with writers.

Remington has spent tens of millions of dollars to defend your rights and how quickly the thanks is threat and boycott! Please feel Free to post that Remington does not agree with Zumbo in any way shape or form and we will assess our relationship with him accordingly.

Tommy Millner
CEO and President"

I hope it is from Tommy, becuase I believe Remington is and has always been 100% with us. They have put their money where their market is, and I would hate to see them suffer for Jim's, "Slip of the tongue." If you contact Remington, make sure you clearly state that you DO NOT blame them for the comments...

Brady's Happy Happy Happy!

This is from Brady's MySpace blog this afternoon:

Even Remington's top gun writer agrees on Assault Weapons

With important writers such as this on our side, it is clear that we have a cultural imperative to remove dangerous terrorist rifles from our streets, and our woods.

This is what happens when we give aid and comfort to the enemy! I'll bet Remington's PR people will be just happy as clams to see the great placement they got.

Zumbo Caves Quick...

,,,now that the damage is done and our enemies have one more stick to beat us with! This from Jim Zumbo's blog a few minutes ago:

Believe it or not, I'm your best friend if you're a hunter or shooter, though it might not seem that way. I simply screwed up. And, to show that I'm sincere about this, I just talked to Ted Nugent, who everyone knows, and is a Board member of the NRA. Ted is extremely active with charities concerning our wounded military, and though he's known as a bowhunter, Ted has no problem with AR 15's and similar firearms. My sincerity stems from the fact that Ted and I are planning a hunt using AR 15's. I intend to learn all I can about them, and again, I'm sorry for inserting my foot in my mouth.

Let this serve notice...you attack black rifles, you attack .50 BMGs, you attack "Saturday Night Specials"...an attack on one is an attack on all. It doesn't matter where that attack comes from!

It's time to choose sides, boys and girls.

Jim, I accept your apology...and you got a DAMN LONG WAY TO GO before you get anyone in this culture's trust back!

Serious Stuff — The Jim Zumbo "Defection"

Oh, and its a hollow feelin' when
It comes down to dealin' friends
It never ends
— The Eagles
"Tequila Sunrise"

So a couple of days after Carolyn McCarthy introduces the first of what we all fear will be many new Assault Weapons Bans (AWB) in the House of Representatives, one of our own sells us out.

This from Outdoor Life columnist and Outdoor Channel personality Jim Zumbo's HUNTING WITH JIM ZUMBO blog, dating 16 February 2007. I'm going to print his entire post for you to read:

Assault Rifles For Hunters?

As I write this, I'm hunting coyotes in southeastern Wyoming with Eddie Stevenson, PR Manager for Remington Arms, Greg Dennison, who is senior research engineer for Remington, and several writers. We're testing Remington's brand new .17 cal Spitfire bullet on coyotes.

I must be living in a vacuum. The guides on our hunt tell me that the use of AR and AK rifles have a rapidly growing following among hunters, especially prairie dog hunters. I had no clue. Only once in my life have I ever seen anyone using one of these firearms.

I call them "assault" rifles, which may upset some people. Excuse me, maybe I'm a traditionalist, but I see no place for these weapons among our hunting fraternity. I'll go so far as to call them "terrorist" rifles. They tell me that some companies are producing assault rifles that are "tackdrivers."

Sorry, folks, in my humble opinion, these things have no place in hunting. We don't need to be lumped into the group of people who terrorize the world with them, which is an obvious concern. I've always been comfortable with the statement that hunters don't use assault rifles. We've always been proud of our "sporting firearms."

This really has me concerned. As hunters, we don't need the image of walking around the woods carrying one of these weapons. To most of the public, an assault rifle is a terrifying thing. Let's divorce ourselves from them. I say game departments should ban them from the praries and woods.

Certainly Jim — a man who, up until this column, I considered my friend and colleague — is entitled to both have and speak his own opinion...that is the nature of the First Amendment. At least Jim seems to approve of that one!

But the fact is that Jim is arguably the most influential hunting writer in the world, and his column, coming on the heels of the introduction of a new AWB — however unlikely this one is to become law — throws down a gauntlet to state agencies and to hunters in general...join Jim in stepping across the line to side with the McCarthys, the Bradys, the Schumers, or stay with the defenders of the Second Amendment and the right to keep and bear arms.

By calling for the ban of "black rifles" in the hunting fields, where they are gaining huge popularity, my former friend and colleague has changed sides. He does so out of far-too-proud ignorance — "I must be living in a vacuum" — and a breathtaking arrogance — "As hunters, we don't need the image of walking around the woods carrying one of these weapons."

What image would you like to project, Jim? That of an out-of-touch, former sportsman wondering aloud why guns don't look like they used to...even though they use the same mechanisms? And how are you going to feel, Jim, when your words are read into the Congressional Record or used by Brady or the Violence Policy Center to continue to destroy our right to keep and bear arms? Is that what you want your "legacy" to be...Jim Zumbo — He Killed a Lot of Animals While Helping to Get Guns Banned!

You threw down your gauntlet, Jim, now let me throw down mine:

Apologize. Now, not later.

Or reap the whirlwind, brother!

Dying For Publicity

Well, I'm still reeling from Britney Spears' going all Sinead O'Connell on us and shaving her head. I'm thinking this is a sad attempt to trump the publicity coup pulled off by Anna Nichole Smith last week by her dying. I can't help but think ANS' net worth is going to soar now that she's no longer around to harpoon her publicity machines' best efforts. I mean, look at Kurt Cobain...his publicity and average earnings have steadily increased since he began his dirt nap. And that's to say nothing of Elvis, who really hammered out the secrets of post-death popularity! Steve McQueen, Humphry Bogart, even Frank Sinatra are working harder than ever, and thanks to enhanced video technology, they'll be getting even better talking roles.

And if you really think about it, don't we prefer our celebrities dead? You're never going to see Kurt Cobain or Humphry Bogart jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. Elvis is never going to the stopped by local cops and blurt out anti-Semitic remarks or rage rage in a drunken stupor or travel to a disaster area to cruise around in a rowboat with a shotgun to provide cheesey photo ops...whoops, how can you tell if Sean Penn is alive or dead?

There are issues I can already see will have to be addressed buy the newly Democratic government, to wit, can dead celebrities marry? Can you just see the amazing publicity potential of an Elvis/ANS nuptials at the Bellagio in Vegas, with Frank as the wedding singer? Whoa! Don't forget, I get 10% on that one!

Have I been offensive enough for Saturday morning?

How about some gun stuff, then. This from the Telegraph Across-the-Pond:

For James Andre Smartt-Ford, 16, Michael Dosunmu, 15, and Billy Cox, 15, the hand-wringing by police and politicians over the escalation of gun crime comes a little late: all three have been shot dead in south London over the past 10 days.

Public revulsion over such criminality is, shamingly, blunted by the fact that they appear to be victims of ethnic gang crime. Society at large sees it as "their" problem, not its own. Such a view is criminally complacent.

We have, post-Dunblane, what are said to be the toughest gun control laws in the world. They have actually proved strikingly ineffectual.

Gun crime has doubled since they were introduced. Young hoodlums are able to acquire handguns - either replica weapons that have been converted, or imports from eastern Europe - with ease. With no dedicated frontier police, our borders remain hopelessly porous. The only people currently incommoded by the firearms laws are legitimate holders of shotgun licences, who are subjected to the most onerous police checks.

What a shock...guns were outlawed and now only outlaws have guns! Now, where have I heard that before? BTW, since the post-Dunblane laws have proven to be failures, what does the Telegraph suggest? For a start, tougher mandatory sentences...apparently 5 years just doesn't do it! And get rid of those pesky protections against unreasonable search and seizure (much less than we have here). Police should be able to, you know, just stop and search people who look like...well, whatever criminal type people look like! Wow! I'll bet Nancy Pelosi is taking notes!

Year of the Pig

Well, at first I was distraught, because I thought the Chinese were honoring Rosie O'Donnell...of course I came to my senses! yes, the Year of the Pig begins next week...actually, it began just after the November elections, but the Chinese are just catching up.

The Chinese geomancers and soothsayers aren't optimistic, however; this from Drudge:

Feng shui expert Raymond Lo said that according to ancient Chinese belief, the Year of the Pig is symbolised by two elements -- fire sitting on top of water.

"Fire sitting on water is a symbol of conflict and skirmish, and this may bring a relatively less peaceful year with more international conflicts and struggles," he said.

Lo said the last time such an arrangement appeared was in 2002, the year that followed the September 11 terrorist attacks.

"It is anticipated that there will be more international conflicts and disharmony, which will even lead to regional warfare, uprising and unrest, or the overthrow of governments in certain countries," he said.


The elemental arrangement for 2007, with fire standing on top, could represent openness, optimism and warmth, but it can also bring fire disasters and huge explosions, Lo said.

Stock up on ammo! Watch Jericho and take notes! BTW, I agree with Bitter that this first AWB is likely to fizzle. HOWEVER, I also believe that the Kennedy-Schumer-Pelosi-Feinstein Axis of Evil is right now trying to figure out how AWB II needs to be drafted to get it through the muck that is Congress. Yes, the Dem's attention is momentarily diverted in harpooning the War on Terror and guaranteeing that we'll see an American city light up in the next few years...that was the platform they ran on, wasn't it? Bring the troops...and the war...home?

And McCarthy may indeed be a Dem-dingbat who couldn't get a bill passed even if it was a Resolution in Support of Bunnies and Puppies, but not cosponsoring a bill is hardly a ringing "Here I Stand" statement from fellow Democrats. Hey, why haven't the pro-gun Dems spoken up, even saying something along the lines of, "Didn't we all agree not to a big stick into this particular hornets' nest?"

And you can bet that the Axis of Evil is closely watching D.C. and Real World response to LaDingbat's "float." Are we supposed to pretend that McCarthy didn't consult with the Dem power brokers before she filed the bill? Good lord, the Dems don't take a crap without clearing it with Teddy and Nancy!

I stand by my comments right after the elections: BUY BUY BUY!

You want an AK, get one now. I assume you've already got an AR (Sorry Bitter! Escape from D.C. and I'll hook you up!).

I think AKs and .50 BMGs are the most at risk, because I believe the industry and the culture will rally around the AR-15 platform...to much of the industry $$$ is now vested in in ARs — not the case when the first AWB sailed through. ARs are the best-selling rifle in America; more AR parts and accessories are sold than any other guns; ARs now own most rifle competitions; ARs have made the transition into the hunting fields, and not just varmints; the carbine is on the verge of becoming the primary home self-defense weapon...nobody is going to sell out the AR (he said hopefully).

I'd include the more exotic semis in the 'endangered" category...the FNH P90, the newly reintroduced AUG, the presently being born Masada, all the AK variants, the H-K and Uzi clones that have been trickling onto the market, etc.

Told You So...

...unfortunately!

Remember how during the election we were reassured numerous times that the new Congress had no gun agenda; they the Dems have learned their lesson? The new improved AWB was introduced in the House yesterday. It's from everyone's friend Carolyn McCarthy:

In Philadelphia, a gunman opened fire on his colleagues using an AK-47 assault rifle he legally purchased. These dangerous weapons, which are intended to hit multiple targets in a short period of time, were allowed back on our streets when the federal ban on assault weapons expired in 2004. The deaths in Philadelphia could have been prevented if Congress had done its job of protecting the homeland and renewed the assault weapons ban.

I have again introduced legislation to permanently ban assault weapons. These weapons have no practical use. They are not used by hunters for sport or by individuals for self-defense. They are intended to kill as many individuals as possible in a short amount of time and have no place on our streets. The unfortunate situation in Philadelphia could have been avoided if Congress stood up to the gun lobby in 2004.

I'm really interested in seeing where this goes...will the newly minted pro-gun Dems stand their ground, or will they get down on their knees in front of the Pelosis and Kennedys. I wonder what the line in Vegas is on that bet???

Hot Chicks With Guns...

Check it out on DOWN RANGE TELEVISION! Hurry, before my Sweetie finds out...

This is the Way the World Ends...

I liked this, from the LA Times:

So, yes, this column is about Anna Nicole Smith.

Friday morning, less than 24 hours after she died in a Florida hotel room, the Drudge Report — our media culture's digital arbiter of all things tacky and prurient — had 12 items posted on the onetime topless dancer. That would account for some of the media frenzy surrounding her death. It's a little-known fact, but certain sectors of the broadcast media have long believed that if a dozen items on Anna Nicole Smith ever were posted on Drudge simultaneously, it would herald the onset of the apocalypse.

Who knew? This is the way the world ends — neither with a bang nor a whimper but with cleavage.

I Got Stoned & I Missed It!

I woke up this morning with a song in my heart...unfortunately, it was "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" from South Park:

Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!

I'm humming "Mr. Hankey" while I'm waiting for the excavators to start digging up my road, driveway, etc. in a frenetic attempt to once again rejoin the 21st Century (or, rather, to leave the 19th) and get running water.

I figure for what it's costing me, I could fly to Namibia, buy a six-pack of Authentic Underprivileged Native Rug Rats, then sell them to Hollywood movie celebrities for a tindy profit. I would not keep any of the money, though. Instead, I would use every penny to create an appropriate — and emotionally powerful — tribute monument to to the late Anna Nichole Smith...I'm thinking maybe a vending machine, perhaps in designer colors, that dispenses illegal drugs. Oh Anna...we hardly knew ye! Unless, of course, you watched any entertainment shows, in which case you knew Ms. Smith was up for Best Interview From A Woman Stoned Out Of Her Gourd award, the coveted Britney Spears Cup.

Ah well, dig we must!

2008 Is Coming...God Help Us All!

Still light blogging as I continue to work on the DOWN RANGE TELEVISION site...not to mention the fact that my house's pipes are frozen, et cetera et cetera. Suxs to have no water...least we've got electricity! I'm faithfully answering queries on the DOWN RANGE Forums, however. So go there for your daily dosage of Michael Bane nonsense!

In the meanwhile, read Alphecca's excellent piece on 2008 politics:

I'd written about Richardson a couple weeks ago. Frankly, I tend to be a one-issue voter: Gun rights. How a candidate and his voting record score on that issue probably counts for 50% of my considering voting for him/her, with all other issues filling in the remaining 50% of the equation. There are a lot of voters out there like me. On gun rights, or on abortion, or on a host of other issues.

In the last couple decades, I have voted for republican presidential candidates almost solely based on the fact that their democratic opponents supported gun control. I suspect that trend will continue unless the Democrats wake up. Hillary and Obama and Gore and Edwards will never get my vote. [Bill] Richardson might.

So far, I agree with Jeff...Democrat Bill Richardson of New Mexico — who carries a Glock, BTW — is looking like the only Presidential candidate I can support. Guliani is a Dem-N-Disguise and viruently antigun; McCain hates both the First and Second Amendment, and he's not sure about the Fourth and probably a few others; the other Dems are all FROM HELL. Looks like the election will be just a laff riot, doesn't it?

The US Forest Service issue is heating up again locally, with the Greenies staging another batch of public meetings to try and find three or four people who agree with Christine "GUNS SUCK" Walsh. The last series of public meetings ending in a huge embarassment to the USFS Greenies and Walsh in particular when it turned out that the only people who had problems with target shooting on public lands were Walsh and her direct hires. The huge turnout was virtually 100% pro-gun and shooting, so the USFS Children's Crusade is gearing up to try again.

Where do you suppose these fine public servants get the money to keep holding public meetings trying to find some brain-damaged individuals to agree with them? Of course...out of our pockets! I've said before and I'll say again...other than fire mitigation, the USFS is a HUGE waste of taxpayer money. Keep the firefighters...fire the rest!

Prince = Da Man!

Forget the SuperBowl...Prince rules!

The best rock guitarist alive...

WE ARE LIVE!

DOWN RANGE TELEVISION is up!

You can check it out at downrange.tv!

First up is an expanded and re-edited version of my SIGARMS 556 report from SHOT. Over the next week we'llbe posting all the SHOT Show video into the Archives. I'm working on two Internet-exclusive video projects...Secrets of Carrying Pocket Pistols and Butt-Ugly Guns. Coming up behind those two is an evaluation of AR-platform electronic sights.

Obviously, this is a "beta" site, essentially a work in process. There are so many functions and features we have planned for the site that I figure it's a 6-month to a year build-out.

The most important element, though — a stable, flexible platform — is in place, thanks in large part to the efforts of my webmaster, Marshal Holloway (aka Kjell Heilevang..."Marshal" is his cowboy alias) and his Significant Other, Teresa, the Marshal'lette.

If you read the computer magazines, or WIRED, or spend a lot of time on Slash/Dot, you get the feeling that the Internet is a giant set of building blocks which, when easily assembled in the right way, will do anything. The reality is that the Internet is a huge "invent to order" frontier, where everything "sorta" works and "sorta" doesn't. Believe me, it has been a battle to get to the starting line!

Coming up over the next few months:
• User-supplied videos, a la YouTube
• Multiple "channels" for different interests and shooting sports
• Articles and columns from some of the top people in the business
• An incredible tool for clubs and matches ("invented" yesterday by Tequila, Richard Young!)
• Live Internet events, like the first one one coming iup in mid-March, the first Steel Challenge National Championships in Florida, sponsored by SIGARMS
• More and better videos...and you will see developments in the firearms industry here first (in fact, I'm in negotiations on two significant introductions that you'll see first only on DOWN RANGE!)

The GIVEAWAYS begin next week with the Bruce Gray custom SIGARMS GSR 1911...we're working this weekend on the "small print," like where you sign over your rights to your first borns and and Hollywood starlets you know to us.

I'd also like to give a thanks to the irrepressible Don Worsham for being the first person to sign up for the new DOWN RANGE Forums! Thanks, Bro!

Tell me what you want in a firearms site, and we'll do our best to give it to you...please keep in mind that my Sweetie will kill me if I post pictures of hotties (male or female) with guns...and she knows the compnation to the safe!

Thanks, guys!

DOWN RANGE Coming Up!

Sorry for the light blogging...I'm sending hours and hours every day in front of the computer trying to get the DOWN RANGE TELEVISION site up in beta by Friday. Here's the promo that's floating around.

It's gonna be great when I can get back to just producing content instead of being mired in a world of non-compatible formats! I did re-edit the SIGARMS 556 piece and included a couple of good interviews I'd cut out in the Quicktime version to speed it up...that's what'll be available in the "Now Playing" window on Friday. I also started outlining the "Carrying the Pocket Pistol" show that'll be up in a week or so.

Broadcast-wise, I'm still talking to three channels, including my old home of The Outdoor Channel. Mostly, I'm dodging giant bullshit bombs and trying to find the right path for the shows.

Will keep you informed!

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang!

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
Ob-Wan Kenobi
Star Wars — Episode Whatever

I'm feeling relatively Sithish today, probably due to a lingering need to go shoot something. I considered going to a revolver match this AM with machinegun guru Alan Samuel, but it would have involved getting up before 9AM and driving roughly 1000 miles across the prairie, probably causing the radio in the Boxcar to automatically tune to "A Prairie Home Companion," which I actively despise. I'm sure host Garrison Keillor must at some point have had more of a brain than Scarecrow, but apparently it dried up to dust and blew away in some Dustbowl duststorm. I inadvertantly read one of his syndicated columns, and it was like watching a chicken scratching out interpretations of Robert Frost poetry.

I've got the paperwork started for a hella-cool Tactical Solutions titanium suppressor, which I plan to use on one of the great Tac-Sol 1911 conversion units and a Mark II Ruger to be obtained in some sort of trade. and overhauled. The suppressor will, of course, be chronicles on DOWN RANGE WITH MICHAEL BANE. I'm also thinking of filing the paperwork for building a replica of an Ithaca Auto & Burglar, which I believe to be one of the Five Coolest Guns Ever Made. Since I'd probably be lynched for taking a hacksaw to the barrels of a vintage Ithaca double, I'm looking at some of the el-cheapo "scratch and dent" Spanish 20 gauge doubles at Century Arms. Paperwork wise, it means filing an ATF Form 1 (Application to Make and register a Firearm), all the other paperwork associated with such — fingerprint cards, photos, etc. — and ponying up the $200 tax.

That actually looks easier than finding a stockmaker to duplicate the unique A&B grip. I could go with a rounded buttstock, but I'd love to match teh original if I could. This will be another DOWN RANGE project.

BTW, here's what I've got in the works for DOWN RANGE right now:

• BUTT UGLY GUNS...the Cz-52
• Salvaging a MINI-14 and runing it against the new MINI Target Model.
• Some AR-15 modifications you can do at home, including the new Timney drop-in trigger.
• Shooting the S&W M&P .45
• What can you REALLY do with a Taurus .410 pistol?

Lemme know what other kinds of videos you're looking for and I'll see what I can get in the works.

I'm going to try and get more than 10 feet away from my computer today, althought I do have to do a re-edit the SIGARMS 556 stuff from SHOT...I waqnt to get the re-edit up on DOWN RANGE by the end of this week. I also need to give my Sweetie anti-lion lessons in the wake of this story from California:

The man's wife is being credited for saving the his life, according to NBC11.

She said she picked up a tree limb and started to beat the animal.

During the attack, her husband also told her to grab his pen, but it broke off when she stabbed the mountain lion so she said she went back to using the tree limb again.

I roiginally thought this was some bizarre homage to the film Say Anything, where Ione Skye gives John Cusack a pen and says, "Write me." Since I never carry a pen when I'm hiking, I suggested my Sweetie just point the .44 at the lion's hips and squeeeeezzzzzzeeeee the trigger. The lion will let go of my head to ponder its former hip joints...I suggested my Swetie then point the .44 and the biggest part of the cat she can see, then keep pulling the trigger until the Smith runs out of bullets. Ought to work better than a big stick!!!

This is MY Boomstick!

This from onlineathens.com, via Alphecca:

Gun graffiti stumps university police
Stencils on walls, sidewalks

Stenciled paintings of red and blue guns are cropping up on walls and sidewalks on the University of Georgia campus, but the images probably aren't as ominous as they may seem.

The renderings don't appear to be the work of typical graffiti artists who spray-paint in freehand style, according to UGA police, who said the assault rifles and revolvers were stenciled onto walls, trash cans, sidewalks and other university property.

Some guns were accompanied by the word "boomstick," but UGA police said they don't know what the word means.

Boomstick - slang for shotgun - appears in a popular video game, "Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick," and also is the brand name for a high-end paintball gun barrel made of titanium.

Hey, if everybody read The Michael Bane Blog, they'd know these things!

I do admit, BTW, that I've had a vicious case of A.D.D. — oh, look at the kitty! — this month...too much going on. I'm still in a whirl of contract negotiations that I thought would be wrapped up a long time ago. I'm also at the critical juncture for my web project, DOWN RANGE WITH MICHAEL BANE, right now just a placeholder.

We've gotten incredible response from the SHOT videos we've posted, which has certainly proven the concepts to my satisfaction; we've signed our contracts with a commercial video hosting service, and I'm hopeful of having a beta site open to the public by the end of next week. There are still a thousand questions to be answered, and I have come to hate the telephone. Plus I whacked my back again yesterday — this time pushing the damned snowblower up and down the drvieway! — and I'm hobbling around like an old man. I now purchase more Advil than your average urban hospital.

St. John the Divine

Regular reader and SHOOTING GALLERY fan Paul Grant has launched a cool petition drive to have John Browning's birthday proclaimed a national holiday and JMB's likeness on a first-class stamp.

I say, more power to him! I signed...there are 25 names...we can do better than that!

Yikes!

Am up to my ass in video bandwidth issues...I hope to have DOWN RANGE WITH MICHAEL BANE up on a commercial video server by the end of next week with a least a few of the El Neato Features that'll be built into the final product. As I mentioned earlier, I've got the first live web event scheduled for the Ides of March, the East Coast Steel Challenge National Championships, and I may do Knob Creek as the second. I've got some more SHOT video to get up in the next few days, too.

I just started working on the first DOWN RANGE original video, titled BUTT UGLY GUNS in response to all you guys and guyettes who have mentioned that I seem to address only the coolest of toys on SHOOTING GALLERY. So...they're ugly, but boy, do they shoot! Who says I don't pay attention to my e-mail!

I'm talking to Brother John Paul at JP Enterprises — who build the absolute best competition ARs in the world — about excerpting some of his super-cool AR training video on DOWN RANGE, along with some rockin' shooting tips.

I saw Jeremiah Johnson (again) last night, and there's one phrase I positively identify with these days :

"You have done well to keep so much hair...
... when so many are after it."

The Coolest 1908 Colt Ever!

I can't resist posting this, because Bill Laughridge at Cylinder & Slide's magnificent .45 ACP 1908 Colt "Pocket Model" is a throw-down to gunsmiths everywhere. Only Laughridge would devote the time, the planning and the meticulous exeuction of something so obscure. If I had a spare $8000...naw, I'd go to Tuscany first! But with the second spare 8Gs...

Daffy Pulls Through!

More important news of the world...from MSNBC:

Shot duck survives 2 days in refrigerator
Raises head when hunter’s wife opens door

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Neither gunfire nor two days in a refrigerator could slay this duck.

When the wife of the hunter who shot it opened the refrigerator door, the duck lifted its head, giving her a scare.

The man’s wife “was going to check on the refrigerator because it hadn’t been working right and when she opened the door, it looked up at her,” said Laina Whipple, a receptionist at Killearn Animal Hospital. “She freaked out and told the daughter to take it to the hospital right then and there.”

Desthpicable! I used to live in Tallahassee, and while I was there in truth I didn't notice any superducks. Then again, I was in college and the only thing from those times that I can remember clearly is my French teacher, Patricia.

Temp Solution to Autostart Issue

I pulled the two autostart videos, and will repost them. I'm sure there's a "Turn Off Autostart" switch somewhere, except that I couldn't find it. SORRY!

Eventually, the videos will live on the DOWNRANGE.tv site, which is now just a placeholder and some links. The idea is that we'll be doing original videos, original content, giveaways and all sorts of neat stuff on DOWN RANGE...all I need is a little time and a clone to finish up! I also want to make sure the site has a place for your videos, as long as those videos don't involve an unsmiling Shetland pony (quick...that's a famous literary reference! What author???).

BTW, we'll be doing the first live web event on DOWN RANGE for the U.S. National Steel Challenge Championships in Florida over the Ides of March, courtesy of our sponsor SIGARMS. Essentially, we'll be posting directly to the DOWN RANGE site as the match progresses.

I absolutely love doing SHOOTING GALLERY and COWBOYS, but there's so much more cool stuff that we don't have time to get on the air...hence DOWN RANGE. Think of it as a gun magazine for the 21st Century!

The hardest thing, incidentally, is learning to properly use the new tools...remember that old saw, "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" ? Or my viariant of same, "When you have a PR-21 baton, everything looks like a kneecap?" What I'm trying to get beyond is both the blogger's paradigm, which is based on text, and a broadcaster's paradigm, which is the creation of a production. Strangely enough, we need to start treating video cameras like the YouTube kids, as a device for taking notes...

Cool New Stuff from Tactical Solutions

Okay...I got a grip on things...announcement is still pending, but let me emphasize that it's ALL GOOD! I finally got off my lazy butt and started editing video again. Here's the first one from my buds at TACTICAL SOLUTIONS...These guys build superior widgets, and you ALL need to go buy something from them. As I mentioned, I'm going to suck it up and get the paperwork done from a .22 suppressor to use on the 1911 Conversion Unit and a Ruger Mark III (and yes, I know what a Mark III is!).

More SHOT Stuff...

Don't worry; don't fret...announcement forthcoming...paperwork sucks!

Meanwhile, am home; am tired. Here's a few of the things I liked...

Liked Bill Laughridge's tour-de-force of 1903/1908 Colt "Pocket Model" in .45 ACP...give the guy a flat file, and he goes berserk and creates the world's coolest pocket pistol. Will try to get the video up this week.

REALLY LIKED that weird little Kriss Super V .45 ACP subgun that looked like a stealth-painted cereal box mated with paint sprayer and had pret'near zero muzzle rise in the videos. Gonna take it to Blackwater in the spring and shoot it in the houses there.

Liked STI's Escort .45 — forged aluminum Commander-length frame and Officer's length slide, with 3rd gen STI Recoilmaster (ne: Detonics) spring system. I asked when I could have an STI LW Commander and Skinner said, "Jeez, Michael! Is there no pleasing you?" So I asked for one with an S&W rear sight, too. Retro is cool.

Para's shorter-framed .45 GAP minigun was nifty, although I shutter to get .45 GAPs mixed in with the billions of pieces of .45 ACP brass around the ole rancho d-lux. Going out to Idaho when it thaws to shoot the Chey-Tac ultra-longrange .408 blasters. Ted Nugent bought two...if it's good enough for the Ted, it's good enough for me!

I liked the SIG 556 pistol, but only because I don't have any sense. Check the video on the 556...I have one on order. I find the gas-piston guns deflect slight to the right shot-to-shot for me because of the slight gas venting to the left out the front of the system...especially noticeable on the full-auto Leitner-Wise guns...probably take 100 rounds to get used to it. No big. Didn't get a chance to mess with the MagPul's Masada, the Next Big Thing in gas piston guns...not to worry, though. Am arguably more interested in the Century Arms Galil-clone, which I want to get my hands on ASAP.

Like Michael Janich's "Jani-Song" new-gen balisong...no more "tactical" than the old balis, but too kool for skool — you've seen the video! Ditto James Williams CRKT folder, which is beefy enough to drive through a concrete wall.

Prize for On-going Entertaining Weirdness goes to Bob Morrison at Taurus for the 3-inch Magnum .410 revolver, which appears to have been left in the washer too long and stretched, and the magnesium .38 snubbie, which if left untethered will float away.

As usual, Tactical Solutions had the trickest trick stuff...there are so few suppressor manufacturers who understand the utility of candy colors! Their totally de-bugged (yeah, they're making the mags, too)1911 .22 conversion unit is the bee's knees, especially the threaded version fitted with one of their ultralight .22 suppressors. I'm gonna suck it up and put the paperwork through on that one. They're also making an STI/SV version with hi-caps. Their 10/22 receiver is a thing of beauty, too...especially the magazine release lever...it's elegant, something I didn't see much of in Orlando!

I liked all the "great military sweepstakes" guns, like the S&W M&P .45 (and the super-cool CT laser system for it); the Taurus 24/7 OSS (which is Taurus' ticket into the big leagues, I believe) and the FNH .45, which I'll be shooting and filming in April. Under duress, though, would still default to the SIG 220 Combat 'cause it has been around in one form or the other the longest and I have the most rounds through the system. The Taurus, however, is a beauty and I can't wait to het mine to test. Since I like the M&P .40 and 9mm, I fully expect to like the .45...Brother Ayoob says they "shoot light," which was certainly my experience with the .40.

I didn't have a chance to handle the Kel-Tec .308 Bullpup that has everybody barking, but it's not due until 2008 anyway.

I REALLY liked the "assault weapons" with the interchangeable barrels that wouldn't interchange, the bolts that couldn't be drawn back, etc. I remain amazed that beavers can be trained to gnaw out rifle receivers.

PS: Was saddened that EAA when to an American model instead of the dissapated Eastern European chicks of yore...somewhere in Mother Russia, a mother is crying...

PPS: Am thinking of having myself Dura-Coated...that way, I can be submerged in salt water — something a lot of people at SHOT would have liked to have seen happen, at least on Thursday! — and not rust...

A Ripple in the Force...

Hey kids;

I didn't mean to stop posting videos from SHOT, but for no apparent reason what worked perfectly for two days simple stopped working. That is SOOOOOOOO Internet!!!

Anyhow, I'm going to try again tonight, and if it doesn't work I'm going to wait until I get back to my desktop tomorrow and put the stuff up...stuff like Cylinder & Slide's custom 1908 Colt Pocket Model in...,45 ACP; the Tactical Solutions' 1911 .22 conversion unit threaded for suppressors; Mossberg tactical shotguns, etc.

Sorry for the delay!!!

_________________________________________

BTW, I will be making a major annoucement about the future of SHOOTING GALLERY and additional programming concepts on Monday.

Stay tuned!

A Little Something for You Knife Freaks Out There....

And you know who you are, don't you? I got my first balisong knife, a Jody Sampson/Pacific Cutlery classic, like 30 years ago...I cut myself about two minutes later! Michael Janich, whom you saw last week on SHOOTING GALLERY and is the head of Masters of defense/Blackhawk Blades, is also one of the great living experts on the butterfly knife, and he's done something extraordinary...he's designed a new one. Meet the "JaniSong," a bali you can't cut yourself with...and that may launch the balisong back into the realm of "tactical" blades. I gotta have one...no, make that two, of these! Available probbaly in March.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to SHOT We Go...

Blogger's been down, but — not surprisingly — my plane is delayed. I will drag my sad and pathetic self into Orlando sometime this PM; then tomorrow go out to the Orange Country Polcie Range and lob a bunch of rounds down range.

Which, BTW, is the present leader for the name of my "Internet" show, DOWN RANGE WITH MICHAEL BANE. Sounds kinda catchy...I'll be floating it around the Press Room at SHOT to see how it floats.

I got an interesting e-mail from Walt Rauch after I posted that I'd be carrying a snubbie to Orlando. Walt got "caught out" after 9-11 caused all flights to be cancelled. He had to drive across the country with his J-frame and a baby Glock. As a result of that experience, Walt now only travels with full-sized guns:

Consider this though, what handgun would you want to have if you had to find your way home after another 9-11?
[...]
A full-sized gun is a pain as it takes up space and adds weight to my bag and I never carry it at the other end of the trip - but damn it! - I know I'll have a full sized handgun to work with if needed!

I gave it some thought and decided he was right. Instead of one of the snubs, I packed the SIG 225, my regular carry gun, along with four mags and an extra box of Hornady 124-gr JHPs I had lying around the gun room. So there. BTW, Walt's also carrying a SIG 225 to the Sunshine State...I know SIG purely hates to hear me say this, but the now-discontinued 225 has become, in effect, the thinking person's 9mm. It's a single stack (8-round mags), conceals easily, shoots like a dream and is reliable as dirt. The only significant drawback for me is the lack of Crimson Trace Laser Grips for a discontinued gun. I may even suck it up and try a 239...as I mentioned months ago, Diane Nichol likes hers.

A lot depends on how much I like the small carry version of the 220 .45, which I should be shooting and videoing tomorrow.

In the meantime, I continue to suffer piteously from the back muscle I mortally offended while shoveling — or should I say continuing to shovel — ALL THAT FRIGGIN' SNOW! It hurts so bad I'm having fantasies about Vicoden...hell, forget Vicoden...let's go straight to morphine, or one of those spinal blocks they give pregnant women who are NOT married to Tom Cruise! I suppose it's too late to reserve a camel to carry me around the Orlando Convention Center.

I'll post as much as I can...hopefully, I'll be able to lay my hands on either a toolroom prototype or the working drawings for UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES' John Ross' dream S&W .500 Magnum...I'll line one up to give away later this year. I'll also go annoy Bob Morrison at Taurus about the .223 pistol and his "tickle and tease" about Taurus producing a new Broomhandle Mauser...the ultimate home defense gun, you ask me!

That's about enough of this...I've gotta go buy a couple of thousand Advils! Tally-HO!

What Crimson Trace Doesn't Tell You...

So, my Sweetie said, we need to walk the dog.

It was 12 degrees; the wind is a steady 30 mph, with gusts to 60 and above; visibility from blowing snow is crappy! Alf the Wonder Beagle, who has a lot more tough than sense, was sitting at the front door wagging her tail and nuzzling her holstein cow sweater, in which she looks exceptionally fetching.

Well, that was darn fun! Ice froze on Alf's face, but she kept bounding along like a very small holstein cow on crack. While we were battling our way back, Mr. Clumsy here fell into a snow drift...unknown to me, packing my pocket, along with the Taurus snubbie, with snow.

So I have discovered that you can pack a Crimson Trace laser grip in snow for a while, and it still works! Even before you dry it off...don't try this at home, either! BTW, with a Marmot expedition down jacket, a raw wool watch cap (knitted for me by my Sweetie!) and heavy duty winter gloves, it's not so bad...strangely enough, I've been wearing Sig-Tac pants for hiking. They're cotton, but the weave is so dense they block the wind as well as non-dedicated clothing, including heavy duty Duluth Trading winter canvas jeans. You can use a set of tights under them and adjust to the temp pretty easily.

I never thought beagles were rugged dogs...I was wrong!

Been agonizing over which piece to take to Florida next week...probably just take a pocket pistol, either the Ruger SP-101 .357 or the Charter .44 Special Bulldog. That way I can wear shorts — and god knows after the last three weeks of shoveling friggin' snow I'm ready to be warm again! I figure there'll be more J-frames per square inch in Orlando next week than any other place on the planet, up to and including the S&W factory.

I suppose a little magnum or a Bulldog and three knives will get me home from a gun trade show. I wish I had one of those little Danish hand grenades with the 3-foot kill radius...perfect for the beach! Push come to shove, I can borrow an AR from my pal Scott S., who always drives to SHOT with enough hardware to take over Guatemala, or hook up with my IPSC buddies from the Old Days, who are generally over-armed.

I'm looking forward to the SIG FORUM dinner...the one we had in New Hamster a while back was a blast. I'm going to try and get some video of the 556 in action Wednesday at the Orange County Police Range and YouTube it ASAP. I'd love to shoot the Taurus .223 revolver as well, if for nothing else but the muzzle flash. I'll be making some announcements on the Internet project and some other stuff, too! And overeating...

Late to the Prom Again!

"Suck the dog dick of Annubis, ass wipe..."
— Bubba Ho-Tep
From the movie of the same name

It is really nice when you discover a great movie classic you were only vaguely aware of. With the Sweetie out of the house for the evening, I segued seamlessly from Gone in 60 Seconds to the Bruce Campbell/Ossie Davis buddy movie from hell Bubba Ho-Tep, adapted from the fevered alternative consciousness of Joe R. Landsdale.

Landsdale, who apparently writes books by the pound, appears to the casual reader to be Raymond Chandler channeling Hunter S. Thompson after a few hits of really crappy acid. I once obsessively read his series featuring Hap Collins and Leonard Pine...I'd pick up a book at an airport bookstore, furiously read it on the plane and not know where I was when I landed. Which is ia huge plus for me. I believe many of the fundamental truths of ife can be found in Two-Bear Mambo.

Quick plot summary: Elvis — the real, now-old Elvis, who didn't die but cut a deal with an Elvis impersonator to get his life back — played by B-movie legend Bruce Campbell, and J.F.K. — now dyed black by the CIA, who replaced parts of his missing brain with a bag of sand — played by by the great "real" actor Ossie Davis are trapped in a decrepid East Texas nursing home beset upon by an evil ancient Egyptian mummy dressed in an oversized cowboy hat and boots, hence the name "Bubba Ho-Tep."

Have I ever led your wrong before?

It was damned inspiring for a movie with no car chases...although the powered wheelchair sequences were brilliantly done. It's worht noting that when the movie came out in 2003, no less than NPR suggested that Bruce Campbell should get an Oscar for his protraylal of Elvis...sadly, if I remember correctly, the Academy gave their little icon to that punk-ass poseur Sean Penn for whatever whiney dipshit role he had that year!

Girls' Night Out...Honey There Ain't No Doubt!

It had to come to this, didn't it? Ninja clowns, from the really weird guys over at the Blade Forums...

So my Sweetie's out for a night with the girls, leaving me alone with the menagerie and yet another repeat of Gone in 60 Seconds, one of the great classic movies of our time (take your pick; I'm watching the Nick Cage remake tonight). I see Eleanor, the Shelby Mustang, and I start getting hot flashes...now, if I could just swap Angelina Jolie for, say, Sarah Michelle Geller, and it would be a total fantasy evening.

I'm actually sitting around dry-firing the SIG...so far I've killed Ms. Jolie about a dozen time. Television is as yet unscathed. I spent all day working on the design package for the new Internet show and I'm starting to go blind...of course, and the requisite hour or so shoveling snow. I can't wait to get the Internet show up so I can start giving things away...I got these 'way expensive custom guns in the safe just dying to go to a new home...yours?

I swear, you guys are going to go wild when I start giving away the hardware! My goal is to become the most politically incorrect person in America, and I'm well on the way! I thought I'd do a little shopping at SHOT for some extra special goodies to give away...Christmas should be coming some around July, boys and girls, so be careful on that "naughty or nice" thing...

I'm also looking forward to my SURVIVE A WEEKEND WITH MICHAEL BANE weekend, also kicking in later in the summer. You pays your money; I tries to kill you (in simulations, of course); plus you get some world-class instruction that you can't get anywhere else. Guns...knives...sticks...big fun...enrollment will be limited, but I'll be giving away some free slots. Of course I'll invite Sarah Michelle Geller...of course she won't come...sigh...

Watch the SNUBBIE Episode WEDNESDAY!

As part of the on-going BEST SEASON EVER of SHOOTING GALLERY, don't miss next week's episode on SNUBBIES, featuring the incomperable Walt Rauch at his best! I think this is a cool show, plus you get to see mine and Walt's snubbies (that's guns, you morons!) at work. Particularly check out the Charter Arms Bulldog .44 at the end of the show...more and more that is becoming my go-to snub, along with the Taurus Ultra-Lite I've carried in my pocket for years.

Walt's snubbies are, however, much prettier than mine.

Another foot of snow...this is the reason I don't live in Anchorage!

Michael Janich info

I told you this was the best SHOOTING GALLERY/COWBOYS season ever!

The SG with blademaster and Masters of Defense Knives President Mike Janich, "How to Take a Knife to a Gunfight," ran yesterday, and I'm swamped with requests for more info — not just from individuals, but police departments and military trainers as well.

I thought I'd post all the info here as well.

If you get a change to take a class with Mike, or you get a chance to attend one of my upcoming SPECIAL WEEKENDS (just a tease...more later) either in Colorado or in New Hampshire, where Mike will be attending, don't miss it!

We will have the DVDs available ASAP...keep watching the site! We provide copies free to LEOs & military, of course.

In the meanwhile, here's some more info on Mike :

Check out Mike's Martial Bladecraft site for information on classes and background.

Mike's got some great books and videos out from Paladin Press, and they have an excellent interview with him.

I personally recommend his book KNIFE FIGHTING — A PRACTICAL COURSE and the FIGHTING FOLDERS videos.

Knife-wise, I've gone through Mike's 3-course sequence and have trained with several other knife/stick instructors (including the legendary Dan Inosanto). While my unconditional "first love" for a knife is the Balisong (and I have a bunch, including ones I've made) my personal choice for a knife for the last several years is the Janich/Mike Snody collaboration, the Yojimbo folder from Spyderco:

I have 3...one folder set up from my right hand; one folder set up for my left hand and a fixed blade Ronin (now discontinued) that I use as a neck knife. The Wharncliffe blade cuts insanely well, and the sub-3-inch blade is legal virtually everywhere.

Also look at the Blackhawk Blades' Crucible folder and fixed:

And the Kalista, Mike's current folder of choice.

Hope this helps!

Apocalypse Watch!

Yep, UFOs over O'Hare; "space junk" over Denver; mysterious rocks crashing through roofs in New Jersey; Nancy Pelosi sworn in as Speaker of the House...yes folks, it's OH-VAH!

And I feel fine!

The new season of SHOOTING GALLERY and COWBOYS started yesterday, and my electronic in-box is overflowing with comments. This is absolutely the best season ever for both shows...these are the shows I always hoped to be able to present! Yeah, some of them are 'way controversial...

And changing gears quickly, here's a quick whiff of bullshit from the Denver Post:

editorial
Williams' murder a cowardly gun crime
In memory of Darrent Williams, the Broncos player killed Monday, Denver should close ranks against the gun culture that endangers the city's streets.

What the hell are those clowns talking about? You bet there's a "culture" problem in Denver...but it's a "gang" culture, not a "gun" culture. Denver's been a gang town for a long time, and the gang culture florishes pretty much unhindered. The now-recovered SUV used in the drive-by belongs to a jailed big-gun Crips warlord; the club Darrett Williams visited before his death is reportedly frequented by gang members. And the 'bangers sent a big message in their cowardly act...come dark, the gangs rule the streets.

Denver spends a lot of time and effort pretending this isn't so. The city has a big-dollar initiative to "eliminate homelessness." They periodically crack down on expensive call girls and massage parlors and are absolute death on "crusing" — god forbid you should go around a block twice, and if you have a low rider, you are in deep dookey. Oh, and Denver's legal department are trying to find a way to emasculate the state's "Shall Issue" law, because why would you need a concealed weapon in Denver?

Yeah, right!

When the sun goes down, the 'bangers rule the streets. But the Denver Post lacks the cojones to call a spade a spade because many, if not most, of those gangbangers are black, Hispanic or Asian — god forbid the newspaper be construed as "racially insensitive." So much easier to attack "the gun culture." Hey bubbah, I'm the gun culture, and I don't 'jack anybody!

A Set of Objective Criteria for Evaluating Firearms

I originally posted this on The Gun Zone, but I think it deserves a little wider airing...especially right before the SHOT Show:

__ Sucks

__ Doesn't suck

__ Might not suck if I oiled it

__ Would still suck if it came with $100 bill rolled up in barrel

__ Sucks less with ammo not made in former USSR

__ Doesn't suck if I get to keep it

__ Sucks more if you refuse to take it back

__ Wouldn't suck nearly as much with a steel frame

__ Might not suck as much if you had Sarah Michelle Geller personally deliver it

__ Wouldn't suck at all if you'd introduce me to Mr. Glock's masseuse...

Michael's New Year's Resolutions

Well, I thought it only made sense. If I shovel any more snow, I am going to lose my mind, anyway.

1) I will stop saying things like, "You know, if you run over a college student, you only get a quarter-point..." Then again, can you really offend a college student? It's like insulting cockroaches...even if they get it, they don't care. Okay, forget that one.

2) I will try to remember that Rosie O'Donnell is a person, too. Or is she? If I recall from high school, there are seven criteria for a lump of something to be dubbed "a living organism," and I'm pretty sure Rosie can only get to Number 3. Again, it's been a while since high school, but I don't think "excessive body hair" and "grotesque expressions" are anywhere on the list. Scrap that one, too.

3) I will scrape the "STUPID KILLS, BUT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH" bumper sticker off my car. OTOH, maybe I could just paste over it with my new "INFIDEL" bumper sticker.

4) I will listen to other people's side of the argument and strive to understand, even if those other people are demonstrably cretins, as they almost always are.

5) I will not prejudge people who drool, fart in public, spend a disproportionate amount of time scratching their private parts, discuss how "hot" certain animal species are, exhibit a purient interest in Paris Hilton or are Democrats.

6) I will not say or write anything mean about Today Show co-host Ann Curry, even though her IQ is apparently tied to plummeting housing prices.

7) I will finally figure out how to reassemble that .32 auto I took apart in 1983.

8) I will take down the Christmas lights in a timely manner if it freakin' kills me!

9) I will go to at least one movie in 2007 that doesn't include 1) a car chase, 2) a sword fight, 3) Bruce Willis, 4) Sarah Michelle Geller, 5) any combination of the words "blood," "beast," "saw," "drill (including drill-press)," "co-ed," "knife," or "sleep away camp," and/or 6) explosions.

10) I will be a better person...really...no honest...

An Abundance of New Names!

Thanks, guys! It's like having yet another snowstorm there are so many!

Dead Pools & Carry Pieces

Well, if you chose James Brown, Gerald Ford and Saddam Husseim for your three Dead Pool selections, you got a little extra spending cash for the New Year. Me, I always put Rosie O'Donnell in my Dead Pool,, but I guess that's just wishful thinking.

I've been thinking about trying a little carry gun experiment in 2007, maybe filming the experiment for my new Internet video project you'll be seeing later on. My idea is to pick a handgun at random out of the vault, then spend a month using that gun as my regular carry gun. I'd practice with it, maybe compete with it. then carry it as much as possible. There are a couple of benefits I think I might get from this exercise:

1) I become a better all-around shooter, which is an on-going goal. It's harder to be a good all-around shooter than it used to be, as there's much les "walking around the woods and plinking" then the Old Days, plus the increased specialization of competition and training.

2) I'll have a better sense of other people's problems when I address concealed carry issues. I've been carrying a gun for a long time, and I suspect there are problems I've just plain forgotten .

3) I believe (and keep in mind that I am occasionally full of shit) that such an exercise will help me see the commonalities rather than the differences in firearms platforms. We spend a lot of time explaining how guns, or techniques, are different (analysis) and virtually no time on how they're the same (synthesis)...yeah, it's hard to do a magazine article on how THIS YEAR'S NEW BLASTER is just like LAST YEAR's OLD BLASTER, but hey...

Anyway, it should be interesting. I'm looking forward to firing the new SIGARMS 220 Compact that'll be introduced at SHOT (whoops...did I say that outloud?). I suspect it will be one of the few .45 carry guns that could seduce me away from my P225 9mm!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

I need a NAME for my upcoming Internet video product! Since it WILL NOT be affiliated with The Outdoor Channel, I can't use any variation of SHOOTING GALLERY, The name should be one or two words, neither of which can be either "c$%%&^ker" or "Shooting USA." I'd probably pass on "Guns & Ammo," too.

Whoever thinks of a cool phrase I can use and illustrate (think of the opening of SG and COWBOYS), I'll bring you something nice back from SHOT — unfortunately not one of those hot Russian chicks from the E.A.A. booth, however. I guarantee that you'll be VERY happy, though!

Post your ideas in the Comments, or email me at mbane666@nedernet.net!

Put your little thinking caps on, boys and girls! Have fun and win prizes!

Snow Up The Patootie!

The view from my front porch this AM That little speck in the center is my hapless Element, with the snow over the hood. You can just see rear view mirrors...