The Oshkosh Blues Again

Oh mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck inside of Oshkosh
With the Boulder blues again...

— With painful apologies to Bobby Dylan

You know, lake perch isn't bad! I had dinner last night with the guns from SIGARMS, since the entire hapless Outdoor Channel crew was driving in from Chicago, where they got stuck in the O'Hare flypaper.

Remember, I'm only at the DU Great Outdoors Festival TODAY...I'll be in the Outdoor Channel booth/truck when I'm not sneaking over to the range to pop off a few rounds, and I'll have a bunch of leftover SHOT Show collectable duck pins...this is the last of 'em!

Stop by and help me pass the afternoon!

I talked to my pal Dave Skinner from STI International yesterday, and he says orders are already coming in for the Texican single action revolver. he did not say whether he planned to extend the incredibly successful STI Contingency Money plan to cowboy action shooting. Essentially, shoot an STI gun and win in USPSA, IDPA or at the Steel Challenge, and nice Mr. Skinner will give you money. Cowboy has always disdained the bucks, a la Tom T. Hall's admonition in Faster Horses — "I do not care for horses, whiskey. women and the loot!"

But a contingency plan exists separate from the organizing organization and is outside of SASS' control. And I'll bet a lot of the young Turks in cowboy would love to put some college money in their pockets!

The SIG guys tell me the 556 carbine is getting closer and closer to the market pipeline. That's good, because there are a lot of people standing in line waving money. Speaking of carbines, I'm following up with the guys from Sabre Defense Industries on their AR platform guns...they do the Massad Ayoob signature gun...if Mas had asked me, I'd have gone for, say, mauve furniture...what color is mauve, anyway? Sabre is also importing the Swiss Sphinx pistol, a very pricey, very well-made 9mm, ostensibly with a .40 on the horizon. They look and handle great, although I didn't get a chance to shoot one. Since the Sphinx is made in the shadow of the Eiger, it would be the perfect gun for an Eiger Sanction!

BTW, Jerry Ahern posted a really cool article on the Zen of the O.K. Corral over on the SHOOTING GALLERY site! This October is the 125th Anniversary of the Uber-Shootout, and, of course, we'll be there for the festivities, and, yes, we'll be your huckleberries. Well have Bob Boze Bell in tow, and he knows more about outlaw mythology than any sane person should!

Anyhow, come see me this afternoon! Oshkosh, b'gosh!

The Oshkosh Blues Again

Oh mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck inside of Oshkosh
With the Boulder blues again...

— With painful apologies to Bobby Dylan

You know, lake perch isn't bad! I had dinner last night with the guns from SIGARMS, since the entire hapless Outdoor Channel crew was driving in from Chicago, where they got stuck in the O'Hare flypaper.

Remember, I'm only at the DU Great Outdoors Festival TODAY...I'll be in the Outdoor Channel booth/truck when I'm not sneaking over to the range to pop off a few rounds, and I'll have a bunch of leftover SHOT Show collectable duck pins...this is the last of 'em!

Stop by and help me pass the afternoon!

I talked to my pal Dave Skinner from STI International yesterday, and he says orders are already coming in for the Texican single action revolver. he did not say whether he planned to extend the incredibly successful STI Contingency Money plan to cowboy action shooting. Essentially, shoot an STI gun and win in USPSA, IDPA or at the Steel Challenge, and nice Mr. Skinner will give you money. Cowboy has always disdained the bucks, a la Tom T. Hall's admonition in Faster Horses — "I do not care for horses, whiskey. women and the loot!"

But a contingency plan exists separate from the organizing organization and is outside of SASS' control. And I'll bet a lot of the young Turks in cowboy would love to put some college money in their pockets!

The SIG guys tell me the 556 carbine is getting closer and closer to the market pipeline. That's good, because there are a lot of people standing in line waving money. Speaking of carbines, I'm following up with the guys from Sabre Defense Industries on their AR platform guns...they do the Massad Ayoob signature gun...if Mas had asked me, I'd have gone for, say, mauve furniture...what color is mauve, anyway? Sabre is also importing the Swiss Sphinx pistol, a very pricey, very well-made 9mm, ostensibly with a .40 on the horizon. They look and handle great, although I didn't get a chance to shoot one. Since the Sphinx is made in the shadow of the Eiger, it would be the perfect gun for an Eiger Sanction!

BTW, Jerry Ahern posted a really cool article on the Zen of the O.K. Corral over on the SHOOTING GALLERY site! This October is the 125th Anniversary of the Uber-Shootout, and, of course, we'll be there for the festivities, and, yes, we'll be your huckleberries. Well have Bob Boze Bell in tow, and he knows more about outlaw mythology than any sane person should!

Anyhow, come see me this afternoon! Oshkosh, b'gosh!

Minor Acts of Will

It's has been all I could do to keep from making snide — and probably racist — remarks about the new season of Survivor, which is broken down by racial lines. This from MSNBC:

In a sense, this hazardous high-wire act is Burnett's genius in full flower — he knows that his American audience fears its inability to productively process and discuss race more than it fears disgusting food, isolation among strangers, or stinging jellyfish. But on the other hand, if something like this is to be a successful and meaningful social experiment, it has to be handled exactly right. Whether Burnett and "Survivor" are up to the challenge remains to be seen.

It is interesting to note, however, that "Survivor" has not chosen to cast "the Arab-American Tribe."

Okay...not a single crack about burkahs and bikinis!

I've spent most of the afternoon cleaning the aquarium, which isn't nearly as interesting since Nemo died. I suppose I could get more fish, but so far, the Force just isn't with me. I did seine out all the duckwort, which always reminds me of the Mahdi's seige of British Khartoum in the 1880s, when "Chinese" Gordon and his men were reduced to kibbles and Brits. You too? What a coincidence! Anyhow, I remember reading somewhere that the embattled Brits survived on cakes of pressed duckwort seined from the Nile, which was apparently pretty nutritious — ask any goldfish — by tasted like crap...or maybe carp.
Maybe I need a nap. I have thankfully located the three best restaurants in Oshkosh, WI, so I will NOT have to go to Applebees while I'm there tomorrow! I'll be at the Ducks Unlimited Festival working The Outdoor Channel booth, so feel free to stop by and tell me how much you hate the new SG art! Or ask me whether the 1911 is going to be allowed in the now SOCOM-By-Itself Handgun Trials...I won't know, but I will have an opinion!

I've got a design service getting ready to overhaul the blog — don't worry; no weird art! Mostly I'm thinking of migrating from Blogger to WordPress for a little more versatility — although the fact that Bogger is owned by Google has helped my placings on the search engine giant...I spent yesterday working on Podcast #1 and decided, finally, that I desperately needed a preamp for the USB mic connection. Accordingly, I ordered one from Amazon and should have it early next week. As soon as I'm effectively pre-amplified, we'll post #1 and see how it goes. Part of the new design will be integration of YouTube videos into the blog, which should rock.

Also, I now have another dilemma...I was the victim of a THROWDOWN over on Sixgunner.com — gunwriter Denis Prisbrey challenged me to a custom gun build-off...we each start with the same gun and budget, then see what comes out the other end. As the challenged party, I got pick of the gun, so I tried a tricky move and chose a fixed-sight Ruger Single Six .22 and a moderate $1000 budget. Then I raced to the phone to call Hamilton Bowen and start wheedling and whining, only to find out that weasel Prisbrey had beaten me there.

What to do; what to do...

I was thinking about following Hunter S. Thompson's great aphorism, "When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro..." Maybe produce the weirdest Single Six on the planet. I haven't ever customized one of the little Rugers and know of darn few floating around. According to John Taffin in his master work, SINGLE ACTION SIXGUNS, Andy Horvath did a few L'il Guns for him. OTOH, Tactical Solutions are master of aluminum anodizing, and the Singe Six frame is aluminum...hmmmmm...I gotta think Hamilton's gonna go classic, maybe Colt-erizing the little gun. Larry Crow's weird enough to roll out head-thumper, but he's swamped.

What to do...what to do...

YES, I'm asking for advice again!!! Here's the starting point (and the above picture, of course). As vanilla as vanilla can be!

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY SINGLE SIX?????????????

Greenies Press Antigun Campaign!

Rust isn't the only thing that never sleeps.

Apparently, the U.S. Forest Service Greenies are equally diligent in their campaign to rid the forests of firearms...these scumbags make Brady look downright friendly! I got this connection from a reader's e-mail, and it's happening right now in Oregon. Read the whole thing on the Airborne Combat Engineer blog, but here's the juicy parts:

"Frequent use of firearms ... for the purpose of intimidating other recreating public around heavily-used recreation sites has become a problem," states a news release issued last week by the Detroit Ranger District of the Willamette National Forest.

The release announced a new regulation prohibiting the "discharging of firearms, air rifles or gas guns" in specific areas within the ranger district.

"The primary reason basis for the firearm order is related to public safety, with a secondary concern for reducing vandalism and for the peace and tranquility of the setting," the news release said.

Rodney Stewart, recreation staff officer for the Santiam River Zone of the Willamette National Forest, said the intimidation factor referred to in the release is indirect in nature.

"They don't go directly up to somebody and aim a gun at them," Stewart said.

However, repeated rapid gunfire near a dispersed camping area is often enough to cause other people in the area to pack up and move, Stewart said.

Indirect intimidation? Think about this, folks...even the Violence Policy Center hasn't had the BALLS to suggest if the sound of gunfire makes one person queasy then everyone in the world needs to stop shooting!

And notice that the Greenies included air guns and gas guns in their "STOP SHOOTING!" program — guns that don't make any appreciable noise! They lie the way some people breathe — reflexively!

Based on this ruling and their continued nationally funded antigun agenda, the USFS has now stepped to the forefront as the SINGLE MOST DANGEROUS ANTIGUN ORGANIZATION IN AMERICA!

As I've said before...except as to the limits of the law, DO NOT COOPERATE with any Greenie for other than legal reasons. DO NOT VOLUNTEER to help any Greenie program, and DO NOT DONATE any money to any USFS program, no matter how innocuous it appears on the surface. Any money you donate to Greenies will be used to strip you of your rights under federal law to utilize the forest resource!

This is a national antigun campaign sanctioned from the very top. Until the Department of Agriculture steps up, or our legislative delegations start kicking some Greenie ass, we're going to be fighting one Green outbreak after another!

Smile!

Bloody Mary Mornings

There are mornings when I'm pretty sure I'm just a character in a Philip K. Dick novel, probably a sequel to The Man in the High Castle or maybe a Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? sequel set in Kansas instead of a Bladerunner-esque Los Angeles.

Consider this morning's news of note through the surreal filter of Drudge:

• 60-year-old man accused of biting boy's genitals...
• Hundreds of body parts recalled...
• JonBenet whacko "marches to beat of different drummer..."
• BBC pulls spoof show of cows crashing into the World Trade Center...

Add to that my hysterically funny phone call yesterday from Samuel L. Jackson, who threatened to kill me if I didn't go see Snakes on a Plane, and the fact that I'm having another bout of shingles, so everything I see through my right eye looks like I'm staring at the skewed world through a cotton ball.

As long as we're talking surreal here, I thought I might mention a gun thing, since I haven't talked gunny in a while.

While every firearm manufacturer on earth is betting their farms on 1911 platform guns, the maker of the best out-of-the-box 1911s in America is thundering hell-bent into the past with the roll-out of [pause for effect] a single-action revolver.

STI International, whose Legacy and Trojan 1911s are arguably the cream of the crop for production guns and whose modular-framed 1911 hi-caps absolutely dominate the competition markets, is finally on the verge of birthing their latest Colt clone, the "Texican" single-action revolver.

The Texican will feature a frame machined from barstock, wire EDM internal parts and a color case-hardened frame and high polish blue remainder. Of course the gun will be in .45 Colt...it's from Texas, for heaven's sake!

It's an open secret than when Colt was on the market, STI Commander-in-Chief Dave Skinner was sitting at the table with his checkbook buring a hole in his pocket. Unfortunately, the Colt-inistas had a wildly overblown idea of what that little pony was worth, and Skinner went back to Texas empty-handed.

HMMMMMMMM...so now the best 1911 maker in the country is also making a SAA and, coming up, an updated, upgraded version of the Colt Defender mini-.45 ACP...hey Dave, could you please put my name first in line whne you decide to make a Colt Python for the 21st Century!

Excuse me, I've got to go study the many different forms for addressing another person and tend to my collection of string...

Equipped to Survive

My friend and fellow Outdoor Channel person Chris Chaffin introduced me to Doug Ritter a couple of SHOT Shows ago — Doug's a "survival guy," not a "survivalist guy." If I recall, we had a deep conversation on the efficiency of various wicking microfabrics, which is a pretty important subject if you spend time in the backcountry.

Doug runs a great website, Equipped to Survive, and he recently started up a very cool blog, Doug Ritter's Equipped Blog.

I trust his equipment reviews, and that is saying a lot. I've spent too much time in scary places to put a lot of value in other people's "opinions" — everyboyd, after all, has one. When I met Doug, I told him that I had a closet full of mismatched, battered gear, but that it had done the job. He said, of course, that was all that mattered.

His current blog entry links to a fascinating article from Time Magazine on, "Why We Don't Prepare:"

Because the real challenge in the U.S. today is not predicting catastrophes. That we can do. The challenge that apparently lies beyond our grasp is to prepare for them.

[...]

But it's not just bureaucrats who are unprepared for calamity. Regular people are even less likely to plan ahead. In this month's TIME poll, about half of those surveyed said they had personally experienced a natural disaster or public emergency. But only 16% said they were "very well prepared" for the next one. Of the rest, about half explained their lack of preparedness by saying they don't live in a high-risk area.

The article comes just when I'm restocking for winter. Interesting reading, and again, I heartily recommend Doug's sites!

Yeah Yeah, Don't Tell me!

Here's another contribution to the SHOOTING GALLERY new graphix!

Yes, it is NOT refined and, yes, it DOES NOT clearly show how to disassemble a 1911!

How to Catch Osama...Details Inside!

This'll work...honest!

First, read this, from the Indy Channel:

Author: Bin Laden Obsessed With Whitney Houston

Al-Qaida Leader Wanted To Kill Singer's Husband, Author Says

NEW YORK -- Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who claims to have been Osama bin Laden's sex slave, has written in her autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl," that the al-Qaida leader was obsessed with Whitney Houston.

The New York Post quoted Boof as saying bin Laden told her Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Boof said he even talked about spending a lot of money to go to the U.S. and meet her.

Okay, stay with me here...we send SEAL Team 6 and/or President Palmer and the guys from The Unit to Atlanta to humanely capture Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. If Kevin Costner is present, it would be acceptable, and perhaps desirable, to either euthanize him or charge him with the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.

Once Houston and Brown are successfully captured, a Department of Defense jet will whisk them to Kandahar region of Pakistsan, where she and her hubby will be staked out on a 20-foot tether in one of the rugged mountainous regions. A crack pipe and a pound of marijuana will be placed just out of reach of the two superstars, and the sound system previously used in Panama during the Noriega event will be connected to an iPod continually looping "I Will Always Love You" at megavolume.

I say we play our big cards here, and assemble a "hit team" consisting of Richard Marcinko, Kiefer Sutherland, Chuck Norris, that chick on "Alias," and Andre 3000 and Big Boi from OutKast.

Then we wait...

Racing Toward the Weekend!

Actually, that's not true, but I thought it would get me pumped up on Monday morning.

I came home from California yesterday, then headed out on a 2-hour mountain bike ride. I was going to do a 50-mile road bike, but the weather up here looked ominous so we headed up on a knee-buster closer to home. This AM, the stairs seem like a challenge!

I came across, via InstaPundit, this discussion of using the phrase "victim disarmament" instead of the phrase "gun control." I like this and am going to try to incorporate it in my writing.

That link lead me to this fascinating discussion of the philosophical right to own firearms from Professor Michael Huemer at the University of Colorado — how the heck did he end up here in Planet Boulder? He also has a collection of scary Biblical quotes on his site...cool!

I also liked the Cathy Seipp's piece in the National Review on liberal hipocrisy...read it here.

Finally, I think I'm writing again...it's hard to say. I'm thinking about writing again, which with me usually translates into words on paper. I might post another chapter of FIVE TO GO, my sequel to ALL NIGHT RADIO — which has been selling pretty well lately, thank you — later today. I was inspired by Matthew Bracken finishing the sequel to his ENEMIES FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC , titled THE RECONQUISTA, and his sage advice that if I got off my butt and wrote something I might conceiveably finish...

How It SHOULD BE...

J.J. Racaza Wins Steel Challenge!

And it was a BLOODBATH of a match! Mickey Fowler and I ran out of synonyms for "crash," "disaster," "hit the wall," "train wreck," "ran over the edge," etc.

J.J. finally put it all together on the last stage, the brand spanking new Accelerator.

And no, we didn't give away the money...winning time was in the 82.6 second range.

here's the top 5:

1. J.J. Racaza
2. K.C. Escubio
3. Todd Jarrett
4. Max Michel
5. Dave Sevigny
6. B.J. Norris

Oh yeah, in a heartbreaking twist, Tasuya Sakai DQ'ed on EXACTLY the same stage he DQ'ed on last year, Outer Limits, popping a round about two feet from his right foot.

[NOTE: I originally omitted Glock's Dave Sevigny from the results because he did not shoot with the Super Squad, and those were the only official results available late yesterday afternoon when I left the range. The official results, whch showed Dave slipping past B.J., became available Sunday AM]

If You Must Belong to a Club...

...this is one heck of a club to belong to!

From last night's National Shooting Sports Foundation (NSSF) party at the Steel Challenge World Speedshooting Championships, we made a great presentation to Mike Fichman and Mike Dalton, the creators of the Steel Challenge 25 years ago and the match directors for todays match — huge gold "SuperBowl" style rings, as befits the SuperBowl of the shooting sports!

From the left, Rob Leatham, Mike Fichman, Dan Buchanan (who conceived and spearheaded the Fellowship of the Rings project), Mike Dalton, Mickey Fowler and moi, who got to emcee the event. It's creepy, but I go back the full 25 years with those guys!

BTW, SHOOTING GALLERY challenge participant Phil Strader whomped up on the Big Boys in the Limited Match yesterday, with a beautiful performance on the new Steel Challenge stage, the Accelerator. It came down to a contest between Phil and speed demon J.J. Racaza; Phil snatched his victory on the last run!

You saw him first on SHOOTING GALLERY — of course — but you'll be seeing Phil everywhere pretty soon.

Today is the OUTDOOR CHANNEL/SIGARMS 80 Second Challenge...the first shooter to break 80 seconds picks up our check for a cooooooooooool $30,000. With stage primes and the $6000 winner's fee, the Fasted Gun Alive will take home around $40K!

SG puts its money where it's viewers are!

Ruger Rimfire Challenge 2007

Just a quick AM not to say we've set a date for the inaugural RUGER RIMFIRE CHALLENGE — 5 May 2007 at the Hogue Range in Morro Bay, CA!

This is going to be a really cool .22 LR two-gun — pistol & rifle — match with a substantial prize table, and you're not limited to Ruger firearms. We're talking 4 categories:

• Open (semiautos, optics, compensators, anything goes)
• Limited (no optics, no comps, but otherwise anything goes)
• Human Operated (lever or pump rifles, double action revolvers)
• Cowboy Style (lever action rifles, two single action revolvers...and yes, contestants must wear a cowboy hat!)

Magazines will be limited to 10 rounds. Stages will include handgun-only, rifle-only and mixed stages, and the match will be featured on SHOOTING GALLERY.

The Hogue Range is the home of the International Revolver Championships and is in one of the most beautiful locations in the country. This inaugural match will have limited slots available, so start checking your gunsafes for .22s!

New SHOOTING GALLERY Graphix!

This is the first draft of some new SHOOTNG GALLERY graphix for tee shirts, stickers, posters, pins, and — perversely — a bike jersey.

It's by great TOC designer and anime fan Dave Warner, based on 1970s-vintage Third World revolutionary posters.

As they say, Viva La SG Revolution!

What'da'ya think???

Some Thoughts on the Winchester "Return"

This from the SHOOTING WIRE a couple of days ago:

Winchester Ammunition and Browning Firearms have announced a new, long-term firearms licensing agreement. Under the new agreement, Browning will continue to produce Winchester firearms, retaining the Winchester license. Sources tell The Outdoor Wire the agreement will cover modern firearms including the Super-X shotgun and Super-X rifles, but will not include the traditional Winchester firearms (Model 94s, Model 70s and the Model 1300 Speed Pump Shotguns) formerly produced in USRAC's now-shuttered New Haven, Connecticut plant.

I don't think this changes anything I'd heard earlier. The only guns that were definitely off the table were the 94 lever gun, the Model 70 rifle and the 1300 pump gun. I heard an interesting tidbit a couple of days ago about production at the USRAC Hartford plant in the months leading up to the closing.

One of my cherubs and seraphim told me that, essentially, the plant was cranking out pretty much nothing but pre-64 style Winchester actions for FNH's hugely successful FBI rifle, and there's now a lot in inventory.

Here's some whispers to watch for...Browning has released a Model 1892 Winchester clone, the B-92, before. The "Made-in-Japan" Browning/Winchesters, produced in small numbers in .44 Magnum and .357 Magnum in the early 1980s, are among the best '92 clones ever made.

At the time of their manufacture, Cowboy Action Shooting hadn't really taken off, and the pistol-cartridge B-92s were solutions in search of a problem. A new B-92 in the classic cartridges of the original, .44-40 and .38-40, might find a pretty good market. The Japanese probably stil have the tooling, so it wouldn't be that big of a putt...

Good News & Strange Brews

Check out the wee beastie, about which more later in my never-ending crusade to bring you "news you can use!"

Too tired to do too much tonight, though...excellent meetings at The Outdoor Channel today...our handgun hunting show has taken a substantial step toward reality.

I wanted to post this story on yet another Second Amendment victory, courtesy of the NRA and the Second Amendment Foundation:

NEW ORLEANS -- A federal lawsuit accusing the city of illegally confiscating firearms during the chaos that followed Hurricane Katrina was kept alive by a federal judge Wednesday.

U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier denied a motion by the city of New Orleans to dismiss a suit by the National Rifle Association and the Second Amendment Foundation. The gun-rights groups sued Mayor Ray Nagin and New Orleans Police Chief Warren Riley over the confiscation of guns following Hurricane Katrina.

The city asked the judge to dismiss the suit for lack of jurisdiction, saying "the states, and by extension their political subdivisions, are free to proscribe the possession of firearms."

The court rejected the motion, ruling the city did nothing to back up "the brazen assertion" that the second amendment did not apply.

"I'm delighted to see that the second amendment still applies in Louisiana," said Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the NRA.

Bravo, guys! I hope you crucify the whole collection of clowns in the court case. Since I'm on the Left Coast, I was reading the LA Times this morning when I stumbled on a full page ad from Hollywood celebrities demanding we do "whatever is necessary" to stop global terrorism.

The list included not only such stand-up guys as Bruce Willis, "Shield" star Michael Chiklis, the incomparable James Woods, Michael Mann, Ridley Scott, Tony Scott and, bless us all, Nicole Kidman.

Of course it was also signed by slimeball Sly "Repeal the Second Amendment" Stallone, no doubt hoping someone will notice his upcoming "Geriatric Rocky" movie — "You need the eye of the tiger, Rocky...and maybe a couple of prunes..."

And speaking of hybrid mutant stinking slimeballs, this critical note from Steven King's home state of Maine — and no, the wee beastie is NOT Sly Stallone:

Residents are wondering if an animal found dead over the weekend may be the mysterious creature that has mauled dogs, frightened residents and been the subject of local legend for half a generation.

The animal was found near power lines along Route 4 on Saturday, apparently struck by a car while chasing a cat. The carcass was photographed and inspected by several people who live in the area, but nobody is sure exactly what it is.

Michelle O'Donnell of Turner spotted the animal near her yard about a week before it was killed. She called it a "hybrid mutant of something."

"It was evil, evil looking. And it had a horrible stench I will never forget," she told the Sun Journal of Lewiston. "We locked eyes for a few seconds and then it took off. I've lived in Maine my whole life and I've never seen anything like it."

Given my druthers, I'd rather hang with a hybrid mutant dog rat than Slyvester Stallone; maybe we can capture one and get it to eat Rosie O'Donnell. Naw, there's some things that'll gag even a hybrid mutant dog rat! Plus, all that lard couldn't be good for the little feller...

Now THIS is a Flashlight!

What's nine inches long, covered with knobs and runs off batteries?

Good heavens, you people make me sick with your disgusting thoughts!

No, not that...the answer is a flashlight, a SureFire to be sure. I snatched an illicit picture of this SureFire Meat Tenderizer at a product demo...it's nine or ten inches long and feels like a brickbat with sharp points.

And no, you can't have one! Yet...

It was a special run for a Chinese client, where apparently there are things that do more than go bump in the night. The SureFire guys said, OTOH, if enough people want to buy the SureFire CHUD*-Thumper, they'll make 'em and sell em.

Tell them you heard about it here!

Hey, these would be ideal for the hapless spelunking chicks in THE DESCENT!

(*Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller)

A Good News/Bad News Sort of Monday

Well, I'm still pretty much whipped!

Last weekend, we went down to the Whittington Center at Raton, NM, to film the brand-spanking-new Colorado Multigun Practical Rifle Team Challenge. It's a precision rifle/carbine/handgun two-person match, and what atracted us was that the stages made use of the varied (and occasionally harsh) terrain at the Whittington Center.

Just to give you a little tease, we filmed a truly great shot with a custom Armalite AR-180...one shot, dead center, on a steel target at 1180 yards! Next time somebody tells you about the inate accuracy superiority of bolt guns over semis, feel free to break out into gales of laughter!

So I spent the whole day running up and down New Mexico hills — and, yes, had yet another HORRIBLE meal in Raton! — then got up at 0-Dark-Thirty to drive the five hours back home so I could do a 30-mile road bike ride with my Sweetie. The bike ride was actually knd of nice...it was hot, but I was able to pretty much zone out and doze in the aero bars of my 14-year-old Trek 5200.

This morning, though, my knees are threatening to call a cab and go to the Knee Shelter! Getting older is a bitch for real.

I have two product reports for you, one good and one bad. I really, really hate to give bad reports, but I am absolutely committed to keeping SHOOTING GALLERY as an honest forum. So you get to know what doesn't work as well as what works.

Let's do the good stuff first. Remember when I was all pumped up on the little Bond Arms .45 Colt/.410 derringer? Well, you can read all about it here, Pondering the Pernicious Perfidity of Pocket Pistols.

I ordered the driving holster for the little gun, because it looked like a pretty good idea — I like the .410 Winchester #000 buckshot as a deterent for your basic 'jacker. In short, a driving holster is designed to let you easily access your blaster while strapped into a car seat. Typically, a driving holster is an almost horzontal crossdraw...you can access the gun easily, and the move to the gun is less visible to an outside person because it's concealed by the driver's side door.

My understanding is that the holsters were pioneered in South Africa, where carjacking is recognized as a national sport.

The finely boned litle holster, made by Bill Weaver in Dennison, TX, and available through the Bond Arms website, is a beauty, well fitted and with a thumb-snap. The holster attaches horizontally to the belt with a clever leather strap secured by a Velcro tab — very easy on; very easy off...a big issue with driving holsters. In fact, I made it a point of putting it on and taking it off in the confined space of the car...no problemo.

I'm not usually a fan of thumb-snaps, but in the case of a horizontal holster, a snap only makes sense.

I wore the holsters for five hours each way, coming and going, and here's the high praise — I forgot it was on. It concealed easily under one of my ubiquitous Hawaiian shirts and/or a Sig-Tac vest, which I routinely wear when I travel, and was a snap (yes, another Monday pun) to draw from with the seat belt on.

I give the driving holster and the Bond Arms mini-blaster two big ole THUMBS UP!

Now for the THUMBS DOWN.

I've always heard a lot about Eagle Grips, and all of it was good. I'm planning an upcoming episode of SG where I was going to use my old and cherished '70s' vintage S&W M-29 .44 Magnum, which has for decades been wearing a set of Hogue rubber grips from its days as my deer hunting gun.

Eagle offers a special line of S&W grips called their "Heritage Series," replicas in rosewood of the the 1950s vintage "Coke bottle" S&W factory grips. The story goes that this Eagle style originated when my pal and S&W revolver afficianado gunwriter Frank James sent a set of his original Coke bottles to Eagle to be duplicated, then mentioned that there was a big market for such aftermarket grips.

The Heritage grips are billed as hand-checkered and hand-fitted to the specific type of gun and command a $30 premium over a standard set of Eagle S&W grips...$99.95 versus $69.95 for the Classic.

I thought that sounded perfect for my old M-29, so I ordered a set straight over the Internet for MSRP.

The first set arrived, and to say I was "underwhelmed" was an "understatement." The wood was mediocre at best...not as nice as the half-dozen set of S&W factory grips I've got lying around the workshop. Worse, on the right-side panel checkering, many of the diamonds had been knocked off through rough handling, which destroyed the attractiveness of the checkering. Still...so I got out my M-29, only to discover that the "hand-inletting" was so bad the grips wouldn't even come close to fitting any S&W N-Frame I had on hand.

Back the grips went by return mail. I gave the company the option of either refunding my money or sending me a different set of grips, because stuff indeed does happen and t was only fair to allow them to make good.

Got my replacement grips on Friday and put...well, attempted to put...them on this morning...

The wood is beautiful; the checkering is very good...and the grips don't even come close to fitting my gun. Take a look at the pictures and see for yourself. In fact, I'd estimate there is easily an hour or more of meticulous work with the Dremel to fit these grips, and given how they currently fit, I'm not sure I'd ever get a fit I'd be happy with.

I hate to say this, but TWO THUMBS DOWN on Eagle Grips.

The grips will go back for a refund.

If you want custom grips for your S&W revolver, let me give you a hard-learned word of advice — Hogue!

Buyer Beware!

I'm sitting around tonight answering e-mails from the show; this week's episode looked at home invasions, with longtime LEO, world-class trainer, co-creator of the Steel Challenge and original Southwest Pistol League Combat Master Mike Dalton (his book is LIFE WITHOUT FEAR; read it) leading us through it.

With one exception, the e-mail has been adulatory...Mike's a star!

Of course, I want to mention the exception. The e-mail was from a person who by his/her own admission saw only the last few minutes of the show, where we showed how to "work" a real live house after explaining in great detail that YOU WILL IN ALL PROBABILITY LOSE and that it should only be attempted in the direst of circumstances, ie, you can't find one of your kids. I mean, I can tell you all day that if you can't find your kid you should still hole up and wait for the cops, but that's not going to happen, is it?

Here's the e-mail:

Just caught the tail end of an episode where you go over what to do during a home invasion.

You are going to get people killed.

I teach the concealed handgun classes here in [XXXX], and had my early training from [THE MILITARY].

The way to survive a deadly force situation is to take every advantage you can, and give none in return. If you try to apprehend an individual who has entered your home under the scenario you describe on your show, and that person happens to be armed, homeowners are going to die as a result of your "expert opinions."

The homeowner, while he's busy wondering if he can use deadly force, he could end up dead.

You shoot the bastard first, thus making it impossible for him to initiate an attack against you. Then you deal with the legal aspects later. At least, you are alive.

Be assured I won't go out of my way to watch your show again.

Well, aside from the fact that he missed the entire point of the show — heck, he missed most of the show! — there's a point here I want to make.

ANYBODY can be an instructor, and it's on you as the consumer of that instruction to pick and choose. When my Sweetie was ready to get her CCW, she had to attend an NRA Personal Protection Class given in the area. I haven't taken the PPC in ages, so I decided to sign up and take the class with her.

The instructor in that class was also happened to be a former military guy, and he started the class with the words, "I can kill you with a gun, with a knife, with an arrow and with my bare hands, with a pencil...I am a dangerous man."

Well, that goes against Michael's Universal Law of Dangerous People, to wit, any person who has to tell you he or she is dangerous isn't. If that person tells you he or she is dangerous 3 or more times, Alf the Wonder Beagle can take 'em. I have been priveleged to spend time with real modern day warriors, and not a single one of them — man or woman — has ever explained to me that he or she was a natural born killah!

After about an hour of that crap — I stopped counting at 6 "dangerous man" declarations; lucky Alf wasn't with us — I told my Sweetie to do what she had to do to pass the class, but to ignore everything this blowhard moron had to say, lest he get her killed or jailed.

While I personally think KILL 'EM ALL; LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT (or, to use the correct religious terminology from the Crusades, "Slay them all and the Good Lord will know his own") is okay as a retro-70s bumpersticker, it is perhaps not the best strategy in complex times.

Suggesting you should just kill someone first, then "deal with the legal aspects later," is an excellent way to become Bubba-the-Lifer's live-in "girlfriend." No, let's not make it a joke...it's damned irresponsible. The use of deadly force is a huge responsibility — not just legally, but ethically and, for lack of a better word, spiritually. Those bullets you loose are on you, forever. The consequences of those bullets are also on you, forever. And if you kill somebody in a sutuation that the police and courts decide DID NOT warrant deadly force, you are likely going to spend the rest of your life paying for those pesky "legal aspects."

I worry that with the huge glut of "instructors" in the market are offering strategies and tactics drawn from either military or police training, which are not appropriate in a civilian context. As my dear friend Denny Chalker says, the ideal way to "clear a room" is a grenade; it is, however, impractical for home defense scenarios.

I close a lot of SHOOTING GALLERY episodes by urging you all to get training. Well, I need to add that you need to get good training from the right people I will personally stand behind any and every trainer or shooting school we present on SHOOTING GALLERY, but don't just take my word for it. Talk to other students; get on the Internet and see what other people say about the training...do at least as much research as you'd do on some hottie from MySpace you're hoping to ask out! This is your life we're talking about here!

And if anybody tells you not to worry about those deadly force criteria and you can deal with the legal stuff later, don't walk — RUN! — in the other direction! You're in the presence of a...dangerous...man!

The Full Story of my "New" Flat-Top!

You can read the full story of my Clements Custom Ruger Flat-Top over on the SHOOTING GALLERY site...I love this gun, and it is a masterpiece. I can't want to shoot it, sacriledge that it is.

Newswise, everything pretty much sucks, doesn't it? I feel trapped in the opening of far too many science fiction novels. I've upped my personal security level to Defcon 1, which means that I now clank when I walk.

I know it's necessary, but I didn't think flying could get any more unpleasant...

An Excellent Article!

Not to constantly send you over to SHOOTING GALLERY, but Jerry Ahern just posted an excellent article on assembling a weapons' battery...no, not like a D-cell!

If you're not familiar with Jerry, he's the author of the old Survivalist action series, which was always the best-written, most intelligent of the men's adventure novels. The way things are going these days, it may soon be the most relevant as well. He wrote, like, 27 volumes and sold millions of the things.

Not content to stick to slam-bang men's adventure, he also wrote a really excellent book on concealed carry, designed a whole series of CCW holsters (I've used his excellent rough-out pocket holsters for years) and most recently has taken over as President of the newly revived Detonics. I've been shooting one of the new little CombatMasters, and I think it's fair to say that it is the single best small 1911 .45s on the market today...period!

If you are even considering carrying a small 1911, you owe it to yourself to check out the Detonics.

I was really pleased when Jerry started writing for the SHOOTING GALLERY website, and his article on how one gun size doesn't fit all occasions is a good example of why. Go read it!

A Quickie Before I Go To The Gym

Okay...the picture doesn't do this gun justice, but I wanted to get one up anyhow.

This is my 1950s-vintage Ruger .357 Flat-Top, come home this week from Dave Clements.

It is, in a word, magnificent!

I originally bought the gun for conversion to .44 Special to match my Hamilton Bowen custom. Some of the guys on the Sixgunner list lobbied hard for me to keep it in .357, which reminded me of the last conversation I had with my father before he died. We talked about gun, and I told him I'd sourced a Flat-Top like his.

"Gonna convert it?" he asked, and I said I was.

"Never seen anything a .44 Special could do that a .357 Magnum couldn't," he said; he never warmed up to the big bores. At the last minute, I decided to keep the gun as a .357 and have Dave build me a super-accurate Blackhawk as an homage to my father and his old Flat-Top. This is the finished gun...I'll have the whole story on the SG site in a few days, but I wanted to put up a pix!

Ward, There's Something Wrong With The Beaver...

After a grueling day of filming us shooting snubbies, videographer Bill Beaver relaxes behind a standard IPSC target. He refused to say anything to me for fear it would end up on "that damn blog!"

BTW, his t-shirt reads:

YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP

Damn straight!

Reality Impinges on My Normal World...

Working for the next couple of days — knives and snubbies.

Sort of sounds like a new comedy series, doesn't it?

Should have pixs tomorrow PM!

It Bleeds; We Can Kill It

This from the Daily Mail:

Angler speared by a giant fish

When he saw a companion on his boat hook a giant fish during a sea angling contest, Ian Card was delighted.

Next second, the scene of triumph turned to horror - as the 14ft blue marlin leapt out of the water across the vessel and speared Mr Card through the chest with its spiked bill.

The impact of the 800lb fish knocked him overboard into the Atlantic off Bermuda.

The last time my Sweetie went to the SHOT Show, she found a t-shirt that read: If it can't kill you, it's not sport.

I have this vision of that 14-foot marlin deep in the ocean, talking to a conclave of other marlin, sailfish, groupers with spears, etc., explaining how to skewer fishermen. Hey, all you gotta do is wound 'em and let Brother Shark finish 'em off!

Think about it...Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea, instead of short novel, could have been a short paragraph:

He was an old man, and he fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream until he was skewered by a inexplicably pissed-off giant marlin whose ivory spike took the old man just below his brittle breastbone and stopped his aged heart forever. "I wish I had taken the women," he was thinking as the great fish rose out of the deep. Then, "Holy crap!"

Tequlia and I will be competing in The Outdoor Channel billfishing tournament down in the Keys after the 2007 SHOT Show. We'll both be wearing body armor, just in case.

Michael's Helpful Solution to Fidel's Impending Death

Well, hopefully the old tyrant is dying; if he's already dead, I hope someone remembers to drive a stake in his heart, lest he rise up.

I've been thinking about the fate of that poor island, and while I'm waiting for the State Depatment to call me for my solution, I thought I'd explain it to you guys. It's simplicity in the extreme:

Jame Gandolfini.

That's right...replace Fidel Castro with Tony Soprano. Oh, I know James Gandolfini isn't really Tony Soprano the Mob Boss, but let's face it...Cuba isn't really a country, either. It's South Beach South waiting to happen!

I was in Cuba before 9/11, at Guantanamo drinking mojitos and eating jerk chicken with the then base commander. The commander's house was this big plantation-like place, and the commander and I were standing on the second floor veranda, looking out over the mountains in the Santiago de Cuba province. I'd been out snorkeling earlier in the day, and I remarked how pristine the waters around Cuba were. The commander agreed it was amazing how clean things are when there's no industry. We talked about Che and the Revolution for a bit, then he said, "You know, someday this is going to be one hell of a Club Med. You and I won't even be able to afford it."

Too true! But with James Gandolfini at the helm, we could turn Cuba into a Mafia Disneyland, with thrill rides, gambling, hookers, horse races and some sort of water feature.

Sign me up for the first E-Ticket, and in the meantime here's Peggy Noonan's far more adult take on the situation:

If he is actually ill, why not arrange it so that the last sounds he hears on earth are a great racket from the streets? What, he will ask the nurse, is that? "Oh," she can explain, "they are rebuilding Havana. It's the Hilton Corp. Except for the drills. That's Steve Wynn. The jackhammer is Ave Maria University, building an extension campus."

Imagine him hearing this. It would, finally, be the exploding cigar. That's the way to make his beard fall off.

You've probably heard this story before, but it's very germaine today...I spent some time out at this ratty bar near the Wire, the separation between Guantanamo and the real Cuba, drinking "Fireballs" — half pepperment schnapps, half Tabasco — with the Marines who walked the Wire. It was like drinking Instant-Ulcer. I'd made the mistake of saying, hey, it was o-vah! The Berlin Wall had fallen; the USSR had fallen; Cuba would fall.

One of the young Marines braced me, saying, "You don't know shit!" He then grabbed another Marine who'd just come in from his tour. "Show him," the first Marine said.

The newcomer reached into his BDUs and pulled out a huge role of cash wrapped with rubber bands.

"You know what they've got over there?" the first Marine said. "Classic cars, classic motorcycles, God knows what — all in perfect condition! That Wire comes down, and we're gonna to be the first across, and we're gonna to be buying!"

I bought the next round in deference to the sheer redemptive power of capitalism!

My Heart in My Hands...

I realized the other night, somewhere around 4 AM, that my life wasn't complete. Sure, I've done a lot...I have the love of the perfect woman, the dream job of a lifetime, three adoring parrots and Alf the Wonder Beagle...I've seen my name at the top of the page...written books...been taken seriously as a scholar...

But I have NEVER been a judge on Iron Chef America!

How. oh how, could I repair this gaping hole in my psyche, aside from buying another gun, which is my normal therapy route???

Accordingly, I hit the Internet with a vengence this AM, and around 5 PM dispatched the following letter to the producer of Iron Chef America:

Dear Producers of IRON CHEF AMERICA;

I suppose you get about a dozen letters just like this a minute, but what the heck, here's another one — I think I would make an EXCELLENT judge on Iron Chef America! Aside from the fact that I'm a fan, let me attempt to persuade you...

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of my, Michael Bane's, checkered career:

• I am currently the host and producer of the most politically incorrect show in America, SHOOTING GALLERY, now in its third year on The Outdoor Channel. It's also one of the highest-rated shows ever on the Channel. I also produce one of their other highest-rated shows, with several more in development.

• I am also the only card carrying member of the Wonder World of Mayhem to have ever attended cooking school. I consider my brief apprenticeship in a working restaurant as the scariest thing I've ever done. I am an expert on Southern cuisine and once wrote the definitive article on the world's best hot dog, which I believe to be served on a nude beach on the French side of the island of St. Martin by a huge Rastafarian with a giant pet iguana. If my money hadn't run out, I'd still be there.

• I once created a small national crisis by shipping a BBQ pork shoulder from Memphis to New York City, where I was living at the time, by buying it a ticket as a passenger on a commercial airline. When the magazine article ran (how else to pay for such a thing?) ran, someone at the Pentagon though it was a wonderful idea, so they flew 90 BBQ pork shoulders to D.C. as passengers on a military plane. In the resulting — and totally predictable — flurry of accusations about wrong-doing, I somehow got the blame. I had to promise the FDA that I would never buy a pork shoulder another airplane ticket, no matter what.

• I have spent years as a "professional adventurer;" in fact, my book of a few years back, OVER THE EDGE: A REGULAR GUY'S ODYSSEY IN EXTREME SPORTS, caused the Wall Street Journal to exclaim, "How did Michael Bane become the George Plimpton from Hell..." OVER THE EDGE was positively reviewed in The Economist, which led one wag to say that if I ever wrote a book on John Maynard Keynes, I could get it reviewed in Sports Illustrated.

• I have climbed big mountains, explored the flooded cave systems of Mexico, nearly died "river surfing" in New Zealand and a host of other relatively stupid adventures. I receive letters monthly from around the world about how my book has changed peoples's lives. I am apparently a hero in the Netherlands, where the coach of their Olympic ski team rereads my book every year. I once got a picture of the North Pole from an orthodontist who'd quit his lucrative practice to trek to the Poles after reading OVER THE EDGE. I don't actually know what to make of this.

• For a year or so, I edited a magazine about beer, causing me to revise my understanding of the basic food groups. I got to spend time with beer luminaries like Jim Koch from Sam Adams, "Pete," from Pete's Wicked Ale and the legendary homebrewer Charlie Papazian. I learned a huge amount about beer and brewing, and, eventually, my liver recovered.

• As a professional journalist, I have interviewed people as diverse as philosopher Ayn Rand to Ku Klux Klansman David Dukes to Dolly Parton, who volunteered to play the part of my girlfriend if a movie was ever made of my life. I have twice been listed among the top magazine writers in America.

• I have been a rock critic for Rolling Stone, won awards for my writing in magazines like Esquire and Men's Journal and once went on the road with Willie Nelson. My book WHITE BOY SINGING THE BLUES, which I wrote in the late 1970s, has recently been described by a library journal as "one of the five best books on rock and roll ever written." It is used as a text on American popular culture by numerous colleges...in fact, it's used at the University of Colorado (I live outside of Boulder, CO), where I was invited to take a test on my own book...which I failed, confirming what I've always suspected about academics.

• My book on understanding risk in the outdoors, TRAILSAFE, was called "indispensable" by Gavin De Becker, bodyguard to the stars and head of the company that writes the risk-assessment software for the Secret Service.

• I hold a black belt in Tang Soo Do; am a 3-time finisher in the grueling Alcatraz Triathlon, which includes a swim from Alcatraz to the mainland; have studied multiple other martial arts; am an expert shot with rifles, pistols and submachineguns and was once chosen by Men's Health Magazine as THE SECOND MOST FIT FAT GUY IN AMERICA. Honest.

• My favorite review of my novel, ALL NIGHT RADIO (which of course featured a cameo from the Loveless Motel outside of Nashville, home of the best biscuits and gravy on the entire planet) read something like, "...as a novelist myself, there is a line I won't cross. Mr. Bane crossed it about page 13 and never looked back..." OTOH, Edgar Award-winning mystery grandmaster Warren Murphy said about me, "He is a mountain climber, a cave diver, a gunfighter, a martial artist. He's also one helluva novelist..."

I am prepared to drop everything and race to Kitchen Stadium at the drop of a hat, palette-cleansing sorbet in hand. It would be one of the great honors of my life. Plus, I'd get a decent meal out of it!

Yours in hope...

This is my quest...to follow that star...no matter how hopeless...no matter how far...I'll keep you all informed...

A Few Political Notes You May Have Missed

Sorry for my absence from posting yesterday...I had to finish the formal written proposal for the handgun hunting show, BIG BORE CHRONICLES. It is going to rock — bit scary game up close and personal, show in the high-quality style of SHOOTING GALLERY and COWBOYS. There's nothing even remotely like it out there!

Assuming, of course, I can get it green-lighted.

Anyhow, there are a couple of interesting political points worth looking at today. From the Washington Times, some notes on a failed "social experiment:"

Consider these eye-opening FBI and Metropolitan Police Department statistics: Since 1976, when the District of Columbia imposed its ban on guns, the city's murder rate, which had been declining, started to increase; between 1976 and 1991 it rose 200 percent, while the U.S. murder rate rose just 9 percent.

This goes to the heart of my argument that "gun control" isn't about "gun control" at all...even Sarah Brady, who's certainly not the sharpest knife in the drawer no matter what Katie "Our Lady of the Manolos" Couric thinks, is smart enough to realize that gun control is always a failure...the examples at this point are legion. Look to England, where the great social experiment of "all people are equally valuable, including human vermin" and "all violence, except violence conducted by the state, is equally reprehensible and punishable by the state" for some hints!

Meanwhile, over at the Shooting Wire, Jim Shepherd has a fascinating piece on the ATF's absolute silence about NYC Mayor Michael "No Paint in NYC!" Bloomberg's poaching on their turf, essentially reaching a settlement with out-of-state gunshops (read the news story here) after Bloomberg and his cadre of unethical private dicks who are definitely not sex machines with all the chicks staged an illegal raid into Georgia (the state; not the Eastern European country!):

If you or I did what Bloomberg and his private detectives did, we'd be looking at the possibility of a visit to a federal correctional facility. Had law enforcement done it, defense lawyers would simply say "entrapment" and any case would be headed out of court in near-record time.

But if the Mayor of New York does it, it appears to be a different matter.

Here are some points to consider:

1) New York City has no jurisdiction in Georgia - and there is no evidence linking the two Georgia pawnshops to New York City.
2) Bloomberg has interfered in a minimum of 18 ongoing criminal investigations.
3) Not one administration official has stood up to defend the AFT.

Instead of telling Bloomberg to mind his own business or stop acting like a Junior G-Man, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms (ATF) is strangely mute. Observers admit being confounded as an agency with a reputation for being "ferocious" when its turf is threatened, continues to stand around impotently listening as Bloomberg accuses them of being "asleep at the switch" and "incapable of doing their jobs." Not exactly the kind of behavior expected from the same agency that continues attempts to shut down legitimate gunsmiths by reclassifying custom gun work as "manufacturing."

I don't know...maybe this is a good precedent. Maybe I can persuade the mayor of the little bitty town I live in to join me and a few friends for a raid into the seething, steamy heart of New York City so we can kidnap chef Bobby Flay and force him to open a restaurant here. We've got enough hardware to hold off Boom-Boom Bloomberg and his Army of Sleazy Dicks at least until Bobby gets the grill fired up.

Arf, C@#%"&%!&R!!!!

I love this, from the Phat Phree dog blog (via InstaPundit), referencing the poor pooch pix above:

Seriously, Get This Sweater Off Me!

I mean it, I feel ridiculous. Get it off.

Lady, just because your boyfriend doesn’t want to settle down, doesn’t mean you should pretend that I’m a real baby in hopes that he’ll play along in your twisted game of “house”. I promise you’re scaring him off, and it makes you look insane. Think about it, you dress me like a Gap employee and tote me around like a damned fashion accessory. It’s disgusting, and you need to get your shit straight. Meantime, you can stop force-feeding me Altoids, you bitch.

Read the whole thing, and be prepared to spew milk out your nose!

Taurus PT-1911 Range Report Up!

...on the SHOOTING GALLERY site!

After a day at the range and aboput 450 rounds of hardball, I am tremendously impressed with the Taurus. Read all abut it in DROPPED SHOT!