Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Here Kitty Kitty Part 2

Go to MSNBC.com and register your vote:
MADISON, Wis. - Feline lovers holding pictures of cats, clutching stuffed animals and wearing whiskers faced-off against hundreds of hunters at meetings around Wisconsin to voice their opinion on whether to legalize cat hunting.

Residents in 72 counties were asked whether free-roaming cats — including any domestic cat that isn’t under the owner’s direct control or any cat without a collar — should be listed as an unprotected species. If listed as so, the cats could be hunted.
Is it too early to start discussing the techniques of hunting housecats? NAAAAW! Realistically, I'm thinking rimfires. Take a look at the new Ruger .17 HMR Single Six with a 7 1/2-inch barrel. I think the .17M2 is probably the way to go for these wily felines; .17HMR is overkill. The Hornady V-Max bullet is a proven quantity, especially at the ranges I'd anticipate (inside 25 yards). I like the idea of using a rimfire handgun because of its easy of carry in the field and low cost ammo, and the Single Six has always been one of my favorites (it was the first gun I ever shot as a kid!).

For all you old guys and guyettes, add a red dot sight (the Aimpoint CompC is probably overkill and overly expensive, but it's a great sight; the less expensive Bushnell Sportsman is also an excellent choice), and you've got the ultimate kit-kat whacker.

If you really want to kick it up a notch, check out Taurus' UltraLite series of .17HMR revolvers (soon to be available in a .17M2 configuration). A 4-inch barrel would be my call here. Practice your double action trigger pull, and you'll be able to snap shot Mr. Puss'n'Boots on the move!

As they sing in country song, "She thinks I love her cat/But you know me better than that." I've never really grasped the idea that you spend years taking care of an animal that demonstrably dislikes you, generates a viler oder than the Grand Central Station men's room circa 1973, destroys the furniture and makes you sneeze. Yes, I had a cat for 20 years, pawned off on me by an ex. I don't think the cat ever noticed I was there; we kept it because my gray parrot, Ripley, really liked it and the two animals played together. The cat had the most amazing urine of any animal on earth — it was as caustic as sulphuric acid blood of Aliens And actually disolved a hole through a folding metal closet door. The only time the cat ever seemed to be happy was when it was sick and we gave it Valium for a week. Then it became sort of like a stuffed animal, leaning up against the wall and making weird little sounds that I interpreted as, "Wow dude! I, like, hear colors and see sounds!"

Be careful, though...there's a feral cat that lives around my house, and a few weeks ago I saw it attack one of the local foxes and run it off. Sucker would look good in a "Charging Cat" taxidermy mount!

So far, the vote is close. Every vote counts! MEEEEEEEEE-ow!!!


Anonymous said...

I doubt if I'm the first guy who thought of this, Michael, but won't this forever change the meaning of "Chasing Pussy?"

Michael Bane said...

Get back to your reloading machine, Pixar!

Anonymous said...

Ok, I followed the link... I'm here... What do I win? Cat Furniture?